Friday, February 22, 2008

What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

[Chorus x2]

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
So I’m nearing the end of my annual post-inventory vacation. I don’t ever really do anything particularly interesting on these vacations as they’re really not planned far in advance. The purpose of these vacations is simply some down time to recuperate from the very labor-intensive physical inventories that my managerial position oversees immediately following the holiday season.

Now all that being said, on these vacations I typically just sleep in late, sit around the apartment, and watch dvd’s or tv. One of my favorite channels is the History Channel. So many wonderful programs on that channel (yes I’m a nerd!)

While I was watching the History Channel today, an episode of Mysteries of the Bible came on featuring the story of Joseph from the Book of Genesis. Joseph was the favorite son of Jacob, whose older brothers sold into slavery… as a slave, he was sent to Egypt and eventually became one of the top advisors to Pharaoh. Before being an advisor to Pharaoh, Joseph spent several years in prison on false accusations of sleeping with his master’s wife.

Anyway, to the point... one of the historians on the show talked about how Joseph was completely broken while in prison. He quoted a teaching from Chasidic Rabbi Menachem Mendel who taught, “The only whole heart is a broken one.”

“The only whole heart is a broken one.” What a profound statement! This song by Rascal Flatts, "What Hurts the Most," certainly reminds me quite vividly of a time in my life when I felt broken beyond repair. I think at that time, had someone told me that “the only whole heart is a broken one,” I would have definitely thought them be on some kind of hallucinogenic drug. Grief is love not wanting to let go. How could painful grief make one’s heart whole?

Author David Wolpe offers an interesting answer to this question: “No awake spirit can move through this world without enduring a broken heart. There is nothing real that makes life painless. Accepting the pain of living, knowing one's heart will - and should - be broken, is the beginning of wisdom.” This reminds me of the book, Gospel Days by Sister Joan Chittister where she states, “Grief is a sign that we loved something more than ourselves. . . . Grief makes us worthy to suffer with the rest of the world.”

In retrospect, I can affirm the truth of the statement, “the only whole heart is a broken one.” I certainly would not want to experience that broken pain and grief again, but I do feel like a more complete and better person because of it.

1 comment:

J-D said...

It's okay, Frank. This song brings many people pain in more ways than one. :D