Friday, December 16, 2005

Reviewing The Year

I know the year isn’t quite over yet, but I can’t help but to sit back and reflect on it for a bit. This last year was not great by any means of the imagination, but it wasn’t the worst one either; however, overall I have to say it wasn’t at all what I was expecting. There was definitely much more sorrow and pain than happiness and joy. I can’t decide on a worst moment simply because there are entirely too many candidates to select from, but I can clearly say I know what the best moment was… it was when my mom offered to give my ferrets a home so I wouldn’t have to lose them.

I don’t really believe in “right” or “wrong” choices… to me there are numerous levels of “good” and “poor” choices. A “good” choice is logical one where all of the consequences, positive and negative, are considered and accepted regardless of the outcome. A “poor” choice would be one that is illogical or where one is not willing to accept the consequences of the decision. Well, that’s my philosophy on the matter anyway.

I don’t feel I made many “poor” choices this year. In fact, I’m proud of the fact that I probably made more “good” choices this year than ever before. It just so happens that many of those “good” choices had very bad outcomes that have taken their toll on me throughout the year. I don’t believe that a bad outcome or having to accept the negative consequences of a decision makes it a “poor” one… I just didn’t expect to have to pay the price of the negative consequences so many times over and over again. In retrospect, I don’t think I would have changed a single decision that I consider to be a “good” choice simply because it had a horrible outcome. So it is nice not to regret anything over this last year.

The only resolution I really have for next year is that I would like to have a clear path for my life. Whether the path is difficult or easy to walk is beside the point… I just want one that I can see. And I hope next year is happier than this one.

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