Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Dumb Ass!!!

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Dumb ass!!! That's pretty much all that needs to be said! (Though it is truly amazing how fast that arrogant little smirk transforms into complete pain!)

Just A Thought

It has occurred to me on several occasions that sacrifice and love may have a connection that goes back a long way. For nearly two-thousand years, one of Western civilization's great 'keepers' has contained this passage: "Greater love hath no man than a man lay down his life for his friend." (Ok... yes... this quote comes from the bible, John 15:13... but in no way am I a freaking bible freak... you get me! I just really liked the quote and its meaning!)

Anyway, I find the choice of words quite significant. Why not greater honor hath no man? Or greater righteousness? Perhaps it's because sacrifice... putting the needs of someone else before our own, is the cornerstone of true love. It's the bench mark by which we separate it from mere attraction or infatuation.

What the hell do I know about love though?! Really nothing. Just a thought. Speaking of which, time for another one of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts:
"The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face."

Monday, August 29, 2005

Kill Them With Kindness!

Yeah, it seems like I’ve been at work for quite awhile lately… let’s see, I was there for about 20 hours yesterday… came home and stared at the ceiling for about 2 hours… got up, took a shower, and headed back to work! I left an entire hour early today, so I feel that makes up for me having to live there more or less over the last 2 weeks.

Shortly before I leave, Beverlee snagged a true asshole customer. Essentially, he was very rude and obscene with her and others in the store. First off, I usually do what I can to make the customer happy… unless they’re an asshole, which this guy was.

I actually love to deal with pissed off people. Most of the time, if they listen to what I have to say and can remain calm, they usually walk out quite happy with what I can do for them. And then there are the asshole jackass customers, who I feel it’s my duty and responsibility to stand up against! I won’t ever let them get their way! It’s the price they pay for being an asshole, and sometimes it’s a high price they have to pay for the lesson I have to give them!

I’ve found that in my experience with pissed off customers, one thing that I can do to escalate their anger is to be completely polite and even sweet to them. It’s so much easier if I were to go up and be an asshole right back to the customer… it gives them some sort of sick justification that they’re right… I never give them this satisfaction!

He wanted us to waive a 15% restocking fee on two open monitors… normally, this isn’t really a big issue… we’ll just waive it… but again, not for assholes! So I go up to meet the jackass customer to see what I can do…

Me: Hello! How are you doing today? Is there anything I can help you with? (In my sweetest demeanor no less!)

Jackass Customer: Screw you guys! I don’t care if you charge me a restocking fee or not! I’ll never shop here again! There’s nothing you can do!

Me: Is there anything I can help you with? (Even more polite and engaging now now)

Jackass Customer: No god damnit! You’ll never get my business and I’m going to make sure you all pay for this!

Me: I’m sorry you feel that way. Well, if there’s nothing I can do to save your business, then I think we’ll go ahead and charge you that 15% restocking fee. Thanks for coming in! (I should have won an academy award for my stellar performance... I was over the top overtly delightful and polite!)

Before he leaves the store, Beverlee asks if he’d like our corporate number… he responded rudely that he already had it… then he stormed out.

He then proceeded to drive around to the back of our store to our Roadshop. He asked Keith, the assistant roadshop manager, if he could get our corporate number. Keith called Beverlee to get it (seems that the jackass could have saved some time by getting it from her in the first place.)

About 15 minutes later, I get a phone call… it’s Mr. Jackass Customer again!

Jackass Customer: Hey, Frank… I’m that guy that was in your store awhile ago returning two monitors.

Me: Ah, yes… how are you doing today? (Still very polite)

Jackass Customer: I just faxed over twenty thousand dollars worth of receipts to your corporate office so that they could see the customer they were losing.

Me: Wonderful. They always enjoy hearing from satisfied customers! (I was surprised… I didn’t even sound sarcastic!)

Jackass Customer: Oh yeah… well you need to work on your customer service skills! (Now getting very upset because I refuse to get angry and fight with him.) You just go ahead and keep pushing papers and maybe one day you’ll be somebody important!

Me: Thank you very much! I appreciate your advice! (Sounding very grateful… still surprised that I was able to get it out without sounding sarcastic with such ease!)

Jackass Customer: (Now extremely mad because even insulting me isn’t getting a rise out of me!) Oh yeah… well I just got off the phone with American Express, and they’re going to reverse the charges!

Me: Congratulations! Sounds like you’re having a fantastic day! Feel free to call back anytime if there’s anything else I can do for you! Thanks for shopping with us!

Jackass Customer: (Slams phone!)

In conclusion, assholes thrive on the indulgences of society's understanding... they must be fought without hesitation or remorse!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Conference Call

The woman in the upper, left-hand corner is having some issues with her connection to the video conference call (amongst other problems.) She can't see anyone else, so she safely assumes no one can see her either; however, that's not the case at all!

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Cool Pigs!

These two officers that came into the store looking at portable dvd players are the top ranking cops in Austin's Bomb Squad. Personally, I thought they looked a bit old to be doing something as exciting as disarming bombs.

You can't really tell from the picture, but the cop on the left has an awesome scar on the right side of his face from shrapnel! He told me that he'd arrest me if I put his picture on the internet! Go for it pig!

I was disappointed in the fact that all they wanted to talk about were the portable dvd players... I wanted to talk about bombs!

Quid Quid Latine Dictum Sit, Altum Videtur

It's occured to me for quite some time now that pretty much everything said in Latin sounds so profound. What's up with that? Dunno. Anyway, for those of you who have the luxury of understanding Latin (i.e. Jennifer,) enjoy!

Veritas vos liberabit. Vitae est amor essentia. Amor ordinem nescit. Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


So like looks as if this tagging thing has become popular in the blogging world! I’ve been tagged twice now. First by Drunkbh (I haven’t forgot about your tag!), and then by Seeker.

For Drunkbh, list five songs that you are currently digging - it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions and the five songs (with artist) in your blog:
  1. Simple Plan – Welcome To My Life (I love Simple Plan!)
  2. Simple Plan – Untitled (Just like I said before, I LOVE Simple Plan!)
  3. Survivor – Eye Of The Tiger (Ok, yes… I just got done watching a Rocky Marathon!)
  4. Stevie B – Because I Love You (Great song… featured in a dumb-ass early nineties movie that was really horrible, Double Dragon… yes, just like the video game)
  5. Rihanna – Pon De Replay (the bass in this song sounds awesome in my car!)

For Seeker, Seven Things I…

…Plan to do before I die
  1. Live
  2. Finish school
  3. Settle all family affairs (I’m not going to elaborate much on this other than to say it means something else than what it sounds like… those who have seen the Godfather would understand!)
  4. Visit Skywalker Ranch!!!
  5. Have a great, meaningful long-term relationship with someone who won’t treat me like shit.
  6. Find happiness
  7. Use at least 75% of my brain!

…Things I Can Do
  1. Be weird
  2. Walk the road less traveled (er… maybe the same thing as weird)
  3. Change the XM with my remote control, text message on my cell phone, and drive during rush hour traffic… all at the same time.
  4. Say the dumbest thing at the most inopportune time!
  5. Listen to two conversations at the same time and understand both thoroughly.
  6. Read most people like a book (comes in really handy as a sales person!)
  7. Speak with a authoritative vocabulary!

…Things I Can’t Do
  1. Make the registration pop-up for my new video card stop appearing on startup.
  2. Fly, X-Ray Vision, Bullet-proof, Superhuman strength
  3. Walk on water
  4. Fix the world
  5. Die, or so legend has it.
  6. Let a good thing stay good (always find a way to fuck something up)
  7. Keep my big, fucking mouth shut

…Things that attract me to the opposite sex
  1. Since I’m gay, I should get to skip this one!!! I’ll go ahead and try to make do with it, but I’m using this entire statement as an answer… and since I’m talking about girls, the other answers are going to be boring!
  2. Eyes… very important!
  3. Humor... have to be able to make me laugh!
  4. Intelligent… don’t like bimbos!
  5. Is this over yet… um… let’s see… a nice smile!
  6. Humor II… have to laugh at my jokes!
  7. Ultimately… I need a guy, not a woman! Though I’ve been with women, it’s not the same as a guy. Guys have a much better understanding of the male anatomy… enough said!

…Things I say most
  1. Bitch be cool!
  2. Fuck (I bet this is a common one!)
  3. Fantastic!
  4. Just what I needed!
  5. Whatever!
  6. You don’t know the power of the darkside (as geeky as it is, I say this at least 5 times on any given day… usually more)
  7. Imagine that!

…Celebrity crushes
  1. Cillian Murphy (hot!)
  2. Jesse McCartney (hot!)
  3. Josh Duhamel (hot!)
  4. Pierre Bouvier (hot!)
  5. Chris Evans (hot!)
  6. James McAvoy (hot!)
  7. Julian McMahon (hot!)

…People I want to take this quiz – Ah ha! I won’t tag anyone else… the STD stops with me! LOL! :-D

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Just What I Needed... From UT

I logged on to my University of Texas student account on-line for the first time in about two and a half years earlier today. This is what I see:
Your account is barred from registration, graduation, or receiving transcripts until a parking ticket of $35.00, issued on 12/13/02 at location A67 at 1:50pm, is paid in full.
What the hell?! I don’t remember getting a parking ticket! I don’t even know why I would have been at school on 12/13/02 seeing how finals are typically over by Dec 6 each year!

Monday, August 22, 2005

One Truth

This is an old trailer I downloaded long ago for Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace.

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Now while my character and personality has always been a close fit to Anakin Skywalker, I’m usually compared to Darth Maul… as compassionate and caring as I am almost all the time, the people closest to me know that I can be absolutely unforgiving and relentlessly ruthless to those who cross me.

Sadly, I’ll admit it’s true. I’ll seriously fuck someone up who fucks with me or particularly someone I care about or love! (Which is typically why people always want me around when shit happens.)

I need to learn to be more forgiving. Once I lose trust in someone or something, it typically never comes back… and if it does, it’s usually never the same. I find this to be the case in many situations I’ve been in (especially at work.)

For instance... I always make it a point to make sure that all my associates are taken care of. They know that I'll bend over backwards for them. I feel this is the most important thing I do at work. I was given the nickname, Frank the Destroyer, long ago because I am vicious and intolerant with people who betray my trust or try to jack around with my employees (I'm extremely protective of my staff!!!)

I Don't Think So

Today was supposed to be an easy day at work. I've worked over 50 hours over a three day period of time, so I was planning on leaving a little early today (luckily I have the day off tomorrow.) Well, our regional human resource manager, district manager, and several other over-paid people are going to be here tomorrow.

Of course I'm asked to come in on my day off (because I'm the only one who can answer all of their questions and knows what the hell is going on)... in which I responded something to the general effect of "fuck no!" I've got plans for tomorrow, none of which include coming into work. I've played this game of theirs for nearly five years now, and I'm not going to do it anymore!

I'll make sure everything is in order before I leave today, but once I'm out that door, I'm off! I'm simply tired of constantly sacrificing my life and happiness for nothing! I already do too much of that outside of work for others, I won't let work screw me anymore!

I just want to get my stuff together and live life.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Things Left To Do

The year is approaching its end (hell, there’s over 4 months left still, but time will fly by… it always does), and there are several things that I definitely know I’m going to get done by year's end:
  • Swimming… I love to swim. I need to get into a routine where I’m swimming on a regular basis. I’ve always found it to be completely relaxing!
  • I need to get some discrepancies removed from my credit report. From what I can tell, the two negative items on it are not accurate. I’m really close to having a superior credit rating; I just need to retain some legal services to get these inaccuracies removed.
  • I want my six-pack back on a more consistent basis! It comes and goes in about a 3-day rotation. I simply want to maintain it! In all fairness, it won’t take me the rest of the year to achieve this… rather about one week. I just need to maintain the high level of cardio exercise that I’ve been doing (since I eat like a garbage disposal!)
  • Begin fencing again. I need to find someone genuinely interested in learning it. I have a great wealth of knowledge in the area; it’s just not a big sport in TX. It’ll also be fun to take my aggressions out on someone by beating the hell out of them with an epee, foil, or saber (guaranteed to leave welts!) Surely someone wants to learn the dark art!
  • Get some new contact and glasses prescriptions. I’ve got a great vision plan I pay for each month, I need to use the service! Besides, it’s been nearly 3 years since I got my prescription for my glasses renewed, and almost 5 years since I had my contact prescription updated!
  • Move closer to work. Let’s face it, gas prices are jacked! I spend $35 every 4-5 days fueling my car! That’s about $270 a month (about $150 more than I’m use to!) I also won’t be required to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to try to beat rush hour traffic.
  • Finally get my car fixed! Damn… the rear has only been jacked up since March! I’m tired of looking at it! I just need to find some time (and gather the money) to just get it done! I want my car to look hot again!
  • Register for spring classes. My company just brought back tuition reimbursement last week. Ever since then, the thought has constantly been on my mind! I’ve got a great job with decent hours and good pay… and if they’ll also pay for me to go to school on top of that, then I think I’ll do it!

Friday, August 19, 2005


I can't sleep! Since last Sunday (when I also happened to get a minor migraine), I've only really had about six hours of sleep! So what do I do while I'm awake... just stare at the ceiling and hope that I'll eventually fall asleep. Hasn't worked yet, but I'm going to give it another shot in just a bit!

in·som·ni·a (n.) : Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.

It turns out that insomnia is not actually defined by the number of hours of sleep a person gets or how long it takes to fall asleep... rather it's the complaint (or perception) of inadequate or poor-quality sleep. People vary normally in their need for (and their satisfaction with) sleep. Insomnia may cause problems during the day, such as tiredness, a lack of energy, and/or difficulty concentrating. Some of the effects that I've experienced personally this past week:
  • Difficulty falling asleep... just can't do it!
  • Waking up frequently during the night with difficulty returning to sleep (in all fairness, this is perhaps a problem I've had for several years!)
  • Waking up too early in the morning... always!
  • Unrefreshing sleep... most of the time!
I find it truly amazing that I've any kind of energy over the last several days. Yes, I admit that coffee has been a major contributor to my artificial liveliness throughout the day, but I haven't had any caffeine past about 4pm on any given day (so I know that should not be keeping me up at night.) I need a vacation soon just so I can simply try to catch up on some sleep... wanting wonderful dreams!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Prank Call

This is an absolutely hysterical prank call using movie quote sound bytes from Jack Nicholson! I'm gonna start doing this... it sounds like a lot of fun!

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Monday, August 15, 2005

My Unique Day

My day was interesting to say the least… starts off with an 8 hour safe cracking marathon, followed by re-wiring a mess from hell, etc. Other than that, I met a customer today by the name of James Bonds (I told him that he should have the “s” on his last name legally dropped off)… we burned some interesting movies to DVD for some customers (the videos were primarily comprised of bad mexican dancing and animal porn)… and I spent some quality time playing with Samuel L Jackson’s voice!

The highlight of my day (I really should say month or year because it made that much of an impact on me) came from my great friend Josh. I’m quite used to people telling me they care about me, only to bail on me whenever I need help… Josh is not one of these people! He really defines what it is to be a true friend. I have a few other people I can say the same about, but I’m focusing on Josh because he’s the only one I can count on to have the courage to give me an accurate, no bull-shit assessment about myself, and I know he cares!

First of all, Josh is one of my best friends! I can count on him for absolutely anything! I know that he looks up to me a lot and thinks very highly of me. Why? I don’t know… but I try to be the person he thinks I am… the person I should be. It may be an unattainable goal, but I’ll shoot for it! I highly respect Josh’s opinion! He really means a lot to me!

I’ve been feeling really down for awhile (perhaps for several reasons, but one more than any other.) I always try to keep my personal life separate from work, but as it turns out (so Josh tells me) people that work for me have noticed a lack in my usual aberrance and enthusiasm. He told me I need to get my personal shit together because it’s affecting others. He even offered to work for me so that I could have several days off of work. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me that he would even offer such a thing!

Needless to say, I’m not going to take off of work. He’s right… it’s time I get this shit back in order! I’m totally embarrassed that others sensed that I was depressed… especially when its people that work for me! To tell you the truth… his little pep talk has made me feel better than I’ve felt in months!

Thanks for helping me get back on track Josh!!! You’re a true friend!

Wire Management

Robert and I discovered that the wiring for the PC speakers display is completely fubar! One of the motherboards has a short to top it off! After about 20 minutes of hard wiring and intuitive rigging, we got just about everything operational. There's just one 7.1 surround sound speaker system giving me a headache at the moment.

Still Cracking

And the fun keeps coming! More issues with the safe, more interesting looking tools! We're now approaching hour 7, and there's no end in sight. Just as one obstacle is defeated, a new one arises.

When Money Is Too Safe

This has been my morning for the last 3 hours... and it's probably going to be another 3 hours before we finally get this pos safe open! I am excited that I've been getting hands on training on how to crack safes (not that I could crack one now if my life depended on it, but it's an interesting experience nonetheless!)

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Too Much

Sadly enough, I freely admit that I've been this drunk off my ass before (perhaps even more so on occasion!)

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Saturday, August 13, 2005

Another Great Plate

This evening I noticed that one of the cars in front of me had a cool vanity plate... Looks as if this person in a fan of The Chronicals of Narnia.

All Alone

One of the things I love most about my job is simply watching how people behave... especially when they think no one is watching! This is a great video of someone who doesn't think anyone is watching them!

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Driving Mom Home

Yesterday after work, I had to pick my mom up from my aunt’s house (it’s only like 4 miles away from where I work), and take her home. So needless to say, I made an extra effort to drive more conservatively while she was in the car (she already thinks I’m the dark angel of death by the way I drive.)

So, everything goes very smoothly. Luckily, we left just before rush hour traffic started to pick up (so no road rage on my part!) The total trip from my aunt’s house to my mom’s is about 45 miles.

So, we finally hit Hutto (we’re now only about 5 miles from my mom’s house) when we finally hit traffic that is dead stopped! A damn train was passing through and decided to simply stop on the tracks over the road! We probably sat there, stopped, for about 15 minutes before the train finally decided to get back on its way.

One thing to know about Hutto is that they have ridiculously slow speed limits. The highway we were traveling went from 60 mph in Pflugerville to 35 mph in Hutto (a highway!!!) It’s REALLY hard to go 35 mph on that road… any time I go to my mom’s house alone, I go 50 mph down it… but she was in the car and I’ve seen Hutto pigs pull people over on this road, so I went 35 mph (it was so painful!)

We probably travel about a quarter of a mile down this road when all of a sudden this car cuts me off going about 75 mph down the road. My mom tells me to go ahead and go faster because she said that the cops would pull that jack ass over first. So I speed up (a lot!) I get to the point where I finally catch up to the car that passed me (we’re going about 85 mph now.)

All of a sudden, I realize that the car in front of me looks familiar… it was Kristy, my youngest sister! LMAO! My mom was SO pissed at her! I just dropped my mom off… I didn’t stay to watch the fireworks. Hell, I was just happy she wasn't bitching about my driving for a change! LOL!

The Hollies - The Air That I Breathe

If I could make a wish
I think I'd pass
Can't think of anything i need

No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound
Nothing to eat, no books to read
Making love with you
Has left me peaceful, warm and tired
What more could I ask
There's nothing left, to be desired
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel
Go to sleep

All I need is the air that I breathe
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe
Just to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe

Peace came upon me
And it leaves me weak
So sleep silent angel
Go to sleep.......


Friday, August 12, 2005

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Half Business Casual Half Commando

Damn! I wish I could get away with dressing like Patrick!

Monday, August 08, 2005

What The..?

Yeah... I don't know what the hell this is... all I know is that it freaked me out! LOL!

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

Viagra Spoof

This video show three very short Viagra commercial spoofs... the first one could easily also be a hemorrhoid commercial, and the last one should be a "Got Milk" commercial!

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Saturday, August 06, 2005

My Day Off

Today is a day to be remembered… got two important things done.
  1. I got all my credit cards paid off! One step closer to being totally debt free! Only thing left are my student loans. It feels great not to have that over my head anymore. It’s been nearly five years since I’ve been debt free (as far as credit cards go that is.)
  2. Reacquainted myself with an old friend that I haven’t had in years… Mr. Jameson! I had so much fun with him that I consumed him completely in one sitting. Haven’t had that much fun with him since I was 22 years old! He doesn’t quite hammer me the way he used to though… I just kinda got a light buzz.
The day is still young though... perhaps I can get some other crap accomplished today as well!

Golf Really Is A Jacked Up Game

This is from one of Robin Williams’ comedy specials (so you may have already seen it… if not, it’s damn funny!) It’s one of my favorite bits he does on this special and it’s dealing with the sport of golf (and why I refuse to play it!)

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Night is wearing on me
Despair from past mistakes
Feeling alone now, bathed in sadness
Soaring down, a fall from grace

Empty feelings overtake me
How can I continue on?
A life so full of chaos
From bad choices, sin, and wrong

My heart was once so innocent
With your light shining through
I took that light for granted
Turned my back on love so true

Will you ever forgive me
Or must I pay the cost?
Does this fallen angel have such hope?
Or am I forever lost?

Not knowing where to turn
Someone has shown me the way
Are you waiting on me
To call your name today?

So on my knees I pray with fever
For forgiveness from you
Will you love me once again?
What more can I do?

Friday, August 05, 2005

Pimp My Ride

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This is one of the great benefits about getting powerful subwoofers in your car!

Who Shot JR?

This is JR, our Time Warner representative. As you can see, his left hand has a boo-boo. He injured his hand while artificially inseminating cows on his father's ranch last weekend!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

This Is Just Stupid!

I’ve been accused of being a pyromaniac on many occasions (ok... my whole life), but I’ve never been this stupid… though I have lit my hand on fire several times.

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

No List Right Now

Many bloggers have been posting lists on things they’d like to do in their lives, so I thought I would go ahead and jump on the bandwagon and make a list of my own. It just seems the “in” thing to be blogging about lately.

So as I’m going through things in my mind, I realize this (creating a list of things I’ll never have) isn’t something I really want to do. I think too much of my lingering depression lately has been because I have been dwelling on what I’ll never have.

It’s just safer for the time being for me to take each day as it comes… I don’t have the emotional strength to hope or wish for anything wonderful at the moment. I just feel so broken right now, and I know it’s starting to take its toll on me physically… my energy has just been zapped recently.

So anyway, no list from me! I need one of Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts for a quick smile:
When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, "No speaka English."

My Keyboard Ewok

My little Ewok looks a bit confused about my jacked up number-keypad in my office at work... Matt jumbled up all the number keys, but I just left them in the order he placed them. It really messes with people's minds when they go to use it! It's great!

Ewok Grunt

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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Darth Tom

I’ve said it before in previous posts, and anyone who knows me is aware of this… I really don’t like Tom Cruise! He just irritates the hell out me! That being said, I actually ran into a silly video with him in it… however, what I enjoyed was the Star Wars aspect of the video, not necessarily Tom Cruise.

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Monday, August 01, 2005

A Unique Genre Of Porn

Ron sent this to me nearly two years ago... it's just as funny today as it was when I first saw it! Ever wonder how furniture gets torn up when you're not around... and you were blaming the dog or cat!

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Where Do I Pick Up An Application?

This just proves that I've been working at the wrong place all of these years! How do I get a job at this place?

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