Sunday, July 31, 2005

Leeroy Jenkins!

I’ve been debating for nearly a week on whether or not to post this video. My only concern is the file size… it’s a big one… nearly 15 mb (just under three minutes long.) I went ahead and decided to post it anyway because it’s just too funny!

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Just What I Needed, Again!

One more great slogan to add to the collection, this time brought to you by Creative Sounds. I caught this out of the corner of my eye as I was walking past mp3 players this morning. Does everything have to be some sort of sexual innuendo with me... Yes!

I Want, But Can't Have

I want to envelop you in my arms
I want to sooth your fears
I want to warm your heart
I want to wake with you and linger whispering in the dark
I want to push you to be more than you ever dreamed
I want to laugh with you
Play with you
I'm pretty sure I want to cry with you too

I saw this sweet poem on Mad Munkey's blog... I find it to be hopeful and soothing. Makes me feel like I'm still asleep dreaming; however, I know that when I awake, I'll have to come back to reality... my reality.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

A Present For Josh

I'm definately gonna get one of these devices for Josh for Christmas... I understand that he could use it (or so he says!)

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I Told Me So!

I was so exhausted last night / early this morning when I finally went to bed… but just before that, I was remarkably hungry (as usual.) I told myself that I shouldn’t eat right before bed or bad things may happen. So, I didn’t take my own advice (I never do), and I went ahead and ate anyway… then I went straight to sleep.

I soon discovered that this is what you become when you eat after midnight… a punk ass bitch!

Needless to say, this is how I felt the next morning… my tummy to my heart felt as if they were ripped apart (call it an imminent gut feeling!) I'm not really sure if it was the food or just other crap going on. Whatever the reason may be, I now feel totally lightheaded, depleted... lifeless!

This is the first day in a long time that my appetite has just vanished! I’ve had to force food down my mouth today!

Simple Plan - Perfect World

I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
It seems like my world's falling apart, yeah
Why is everything so hard?
I don't think I can deal
With the things you said
It just won't go away

In a perfect world
This could never happen
In a perfect world
You'd still be here
And it makes no sense
I can just pick up the pieces
But to you this means nothing
Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through, yeah
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I could turn back time
Cuz I can't let go
I just can't find my way, yeah
Without you I just can't find my way


I don't know what I should do now
I don't know where I should go
I'm still here waiting for you
I'm lost when you're not around
I need to hold onto you
I just can't let you go
Yeah, yeah


You feel nothing
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

Friday, July 29, 2005

Indecent Proposal... Priceless

This is a cute little video... my one and only issue with it is that I think it's just a bit too long. Otherwise, pretty funny!

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Jester's Dead

Our Loss Prevention department decided to do away with our old, convenient stockpicker belt harnesses... now we utilize these ridiculous full-body harnesses (crotch cutters, package pinchers, etc.) I have Maverick and Goose here modelling the new harnesses!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Strike First, Strike Hard, Show No Mercy!

In the famous scene of the Karate Kid when we find out Mr. Miyagi is a karate expert, he saves Daniel by beating the shit out of the Cobra Kai. He does so using knees to the stomach on two of them, a groin kick on another, and finally on Johnny he flips him over and karate-chops him. The next day in school though, the Cobra Kai are shown with their new injuries in places where they were never attacked. Johnny has a black eye and Tommy has a sling on his shoulder to name a few. What the hell's up with this.

Speaking of which, didn't you just love the Cobra Kai? They were like an Aryan Karate Machine? Why hasn't anyone opened a chain of Cobra Kai karate studios across America? If you were studying karate, wouldn't you want to study at the Cobra Kai dojo? Couldn't they at least sell the Cobra Kai karate outfits online? Has there ever been a better team nickname/movie homage than Cobra Kai?

As you may be able to tell, I was bored and just got done watching this movie... haven't seen it in years!


This is great for all, but anyone who's ever been truly drunk off their ass can appreciate this on an entirely different level!

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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

My Dream Christmas Gift

This is why I never received a lightsaber for Christmas (other than the fact that they also don't exist... or at least that's what I've been led to believe!)

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Did You Hear That?

The air filter between my room and my office / ferret room / war room has been making the most peculiar noises. It sounds like ghosts or something… and it’s been freaking me out! I swear I can hear creepy voices seeping out of the vent! It’s literally going to drive me insane!

Day of Reckoning

Today was beyond a doubt a most interesting day at the Round Rock store. I don’t know whether I should feel sorry for these poor bastards… or perhaps elated that they’ve finally been exposed for the lying, cheating scoundrels that they truly are on such an epic scale! (Of course you guessed it… I’m so ecstatic that they’ve been caught!)

Without getting into the nitty-gritty details on how the business works, essentially two things went terribly wrong for the management at the Round Rock store…
  1. Their Operations Manager has not kept up with inventory at all. On a bad week, a store may loose about $500 worth of merchandise. After we were through looking into their inventory today (and only the tip of the iceberg mind you), they probably lost anywhere between $25,000 and $45,000 worth of merchandise (in just one day).
  2. They have been prematurely releasing merchandise (making the system think that the customers have already received their purchased products)… now why is this important you may be wondering… well, the store only receives credit for a sale when the merchandise is released. If a customer purchases something but doesn’t pick it up for days or weeks, the store doesn’t get credit for the sale until the merchandise goes out. So for all intents and purposes, they’ve been manipulating the numbers and the system to make it appear that their store has been performing much better than it actually has been… which also means that they’ve been getting bonused on false numbers… stealing from the company!
Whether anything happens to them or not, I’m just glad that their unethical business practices have now been revealed to the rest of the district!

Good... Bad... I'm The One With The Camera Phone

Still shooting videos with the phone all the time now. Always looking for something interesting.

Some people act nervous or fussy when the camera is rolling. The entire persona transforms… once second you have a friendly and caring individual… the next, a scary and malign person.

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Others remain completely normal… they act as if the camera isn’t even there. These are the people born for reality tv.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Evanescence - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.

These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.

These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.


I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along.


Monday, July 25, 2005

Now that Castpost is avaiable, I find myself taking more video with my phone... perhaps I'll catch something interesting... maybe not. I know that anytime Josh is involved, it'll always be amusing. He always has some absurd remark ready to fire at any given moment. Fabulous wit. No one makes me laugh quite like Josh!

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Road Trip

I start my district-wide tour tomorrow... travelling to stores that have new and/or inexperienced operations managers to assist them in preparing for their mid-year physical inventory. Luckily, I will have Beverlee with me to keep me company (and to make sure my sanity stays intact!)

Normally, I don't mind driving around from city to city for the company... but hell, gas is expensive (my car uses premium!) I made the store pay for my gas upfront ($115) for the next three days during my voyage around central Texas. I'm already for it to be over though!

Oldie, But A Goodie

So... Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing. You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports all night. You hear her stumble into bed around 4am. You wake up next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night. You're happy to see it all in one piece.

This image was actually used as evidence in a divorce case. See if you can figure out why.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Consumed In Darkness

I used to remember a time when I dreamed of a future where I would be happy with my life. I used to have such optimism in my heart… perhaps I still do, it’s just so much more painful nowadays. I miss those times… all I see now is darkness. I’ve managed to engineer a domain of misery that I can’t escape. I just want it to end. I’m through of wishing for happiness… I know that’s just a dream.

Once several years ago (I think I was 17 years old at the time), my mom came down with a horrible migraine. I drove her to the hospital and they drugged her up nicely! She was totally incoherent. On the way back home, she told me something that I always had suspected… she told me how my grandmother would always tell her how much happiness I bring them and that she’s always so relieved that my mom never had the abortion with me that she had scheduled months before I was born. I know she didn’t even realize what she had told me… she was way too drugged up with morphine to have any inhibitions on things she should or shouldn’t say. I’m sure she doesn’t even have a clue that I know now.

The fact of the matter is that I wish sometimes that she would have just had the abortion. I’m sure she’d have a much happier life. I love my mother, but I feel that I’m the root cause of so much of the pain in her life. She and everyone else I’ve ever known would be much better off if I never existed. I’m just a burden. I don’t know how I could ever bring any happiness to anyone’s life… I can’t even make myself happy! I’m no good to anyone, especially myself. I just feel so worthless and unwanted! I wish the darkness would consume me... erase me from existence!

Maybe I’m just tired or need some artificial happiness (caffeine – artificial life and happiness.) I hate feeling this way! It usually emerges when I’m extremely tired, but can’t sleep (like now.) Hopefully after some sleep, I’ll feel more like myself… just mostly miserable, not completely miserable.

Don't Touch My Bone

Troy sent this to me and it is absolutely hysterical! This dog is really messed up... it's so great! I can't get enough of it!

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On Top Of The World

People always seem to need to see me for one reason or another at work… never really have anytime to do the stuff I need to do… always working on solutions for other people’s issues and problems. Sometimes it’s just so difficult to get away from all the pandemonium and unruliness that is retail. At times like this, I find that the roof is a fantastic venue of solitude. The access is quite restricted and it has a beautiful view!

It's one of my favorite places to think. I'm always feel so miserable that I'm alone (and will probably always be), but when I'm up here by myself, being alone doesn't feel so bad (that is until I come down and return to reality.) From up here I can observe the tragedy I call life and feel comfortable in the fact that there are somethings that are simply out of my control! Things seem so clear up here.

The Austin skyline is barely visible from this distance.

As Matt & Beverlee return from lunch, they spot me on the roof.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Beware of Straws!

Got to spend some time with my wonderful friend Troy today, which always puts a smile on my face without fail! We had dinner at the Waterloo Ice House on South Lamar.

Take special note of the tip of a white straw near the bottom of the picture. This straw turned out to be quite dangerous!!! It nearly punctured one of Troy’s eyes! Though it looked quite funny as it happened, it would have been absolutely horrible if it had damaged one of his beautiful eyes (yes, the picture quality on my camera sucks so you may not be able to tell, but his eyes are unquestionably gorgeous!)

Lesson learned… if you are not going to use the straw, then take it out of the cup before you drink (otherwise you risk becoming a cyclops!)

Chad Kroeger (featuring Josey Scott) - Hero

I am so high, I can hear heaven.
I am so high, I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Someone told me that love would all save us.
But how can that be?
Look what love gave us.
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling, that
world never came.


Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you.
It isn't the love of a hero, that's why I fear it won't do.


And they're watching us (Watching us)
They're watching us (watching us) as we all fly away.
And they're watching us (Watching us)
They're watching us (watching us) as we all fly away.
And they're watching us (Watching us)
They're watching us (watching us) as we all fly away.

The Picard Song

In honor of the late James Doohan, I figured I would post something Star Trek related. I don't have anything particularly humorous to post about him personally, but I do on another Star Trek alumnus... Patrick Stewart. I received this mp3 from Josh months ago... I had just forgotten all about it. It's called the Picard Song, and it was created by DarkMateria. It's pretty funny and cleverly done!

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Friday, July 22, 2005

Twenty-One Year Old Lush

Wow! Kristy has been twenty-one for an entire day and she's not wasting any time on utilizing her newly acquired power (liquor purchasing power that is!) Perhaps one day she'll be able to hang with big brother!

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I don't think she's posted anything on her new blog yet. Hey Jen... when are you getting a blog?!

Dante's Inferno

Yes, yes... another one of those silly quizzes! What can I say... I'm bored at the moment... these quizzes give me something to do!!!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Beam Me Up, Scotty

Like I've said before, I'm really bad with current events... luckily, a friend told me about this (so I wouldn't find out about it weeks later.) On Wednesday, James Doohan (Star Trek's Scotty) died at the age of 85 from pneumonia and Alzheimer's disease. It's really sad that's he gone... no more Mr. Scot. He always seemed like such a nice guy... in fact, many tell stories of how great he was to fans at Star Trek conventions. But it really upsets me that he died from Alzheimer's disease... I hate Alzheimer's!!!

Anyway, although he became synonymous with the line "Beam me up, Scotty", it was never actually said in the series... which is ironic, because he'll always be remembered for that! Something else I don't think many people know is the fact that he wasn't Scottish... he was Canadian. He was simply a master of dialects.

It appears that his ashes are to be sent into space at his request. The Space Services Inc company said his ashes could be on a Falcon 1 rocket launching from California's Vandenberg Air Force Base, tentatively scheduled for launch in September. When I die, I want to be shot into space in a torpedo (like Spock), or I need to be burned in the woods wearing a Darth Vader costume!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Double Standards

I got this picture off of a blog I came across (Craziness You Say? Reality Hurts, Deal With It!). This reminds me of a past occurrence involving Jennifer... back in high school when Jennifer was competing in a debate tournament, an arrogant judge said something to her very similar to what this picture depicts. He told her that when a man in forceful in debate, people call him powerful... when a woman (he now directing this to her) is forceful in debate, people call her a bitch.

It's been years since this occurred, and it didn't even happen to me... but it still upsets me quite a bit! I know all to well that life's not fair, but I just hate double-standards and hypocrisy! And I especially hate the fact that some pompous ass (who's not me) called my sister a bitch!

Weird Video

Elemmaciltur started using CastPost to post videos... so I decided, what the hell, let's give it a spin! For those of you looking to post videos, give CastPost a try... they are very helpful should you need assistance! They're also offering free accounts during their alpha testing stage!

Anyway, here's a weird video I found on my phone several weeks ago. I don't even remember someone taking my phone to take this video to be perfectly honest. I'm not really sure what's going on either, but it appeared to be quite funny at the time... David is on the left, I'm in the middle, and Beverlee is on the right! Just a bit bizarre!

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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

On The Go In My Car Of Death

My car could easily be the white horse of Death... though it hasn't recently tried to take my life! Speaking of which, I need to go get some artificial life, aka caffeine!

Spotter = Safe

Here's my advice for the day... always have a spotter when you do any kind of bench press with free weights. This sounds obvious enough, but many people ignore this safety practice... me included! Today during a set of bench presses, my right arm gave out and I dropped a 60 lb dumbbell on my chest, right near my shoulder. I was expecting it to tickle, but it just hurt.

What To Do..?

Went to lunch with Josh today… he clearly doesn’t like our store director. This actually got me thinking though… our district manager has only promoted one kind of person… “yes” men. I find this to be truly regrettable because this kind of person will not make the company successful… in fact, they’ll run it into the ground. If no one ever has the courage to disagree with a bad idea (which there is an over abundance of at our company), what hope does the company have of being successful?

It just disappointments me that all of the store directors he’s promoted in the nine months he’s been in our district are incapable of independent thought. They are simply extensions of our dm. What kind of person would want to lead a bunch of mindless morons… someone who has such low self-esteem that they need to surround themselves with incompetence so that they can feel better about themselves.

I think our store director is a great person, but he doesn’t have the respect of the store. In fact, most have told me that they think he’s plain dumb, which isn’t true at all. He just lacks experience. He’s too much a “manager,” and not enough a “leader.” What’s my role here? Am I supposed to help him gain the respect he needs to effectively run the store, or should I let him deal with his own problem? Is it my responsibility to make him an effective leader?

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again

I don't know where I'm goin
but I sure know where I've been
hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again.

Though' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
And I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.
And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again,
Here I go again, here I go.

And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
And I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again, here I go again,
Here I go again, here I go,
Here I go again

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Fallen From Grace

How Cute!

Just finished having a lovely dinner with my fantastic friends Laura and Alex at the AppleBee’s in Round Rock. Apparently G.W. Bush is making an announcement of a Supreme Court nomination this evening… I didn’t even know that there was a vacant seat! I feel so ashamed that I don’t stay updated on current events anymore… I went an entire week before someone told me that the Pope died in April. I feel so out of touch with the world I live in!

So Laura was upset with the fact that Bush chose an ultra-conservative as his nominee for the Supreme Court… but I mean really, who else was he going to pick? He sure as hell wasn’t going to choose a moderate or a liberal. So while I understand the choice is upsetting to some, I can’t say that I'm surprised!

Anyway, at dinner we discussed what their future, unconceived child would be like (be sure to check out the Brooks Davis Cotton Gladney-Lemon blog.) I think their child needs to be like me… just completely weird as can be! That’s my thought on the matter!

I think that at some point in my life I’d like to have one or two children. I’ve always told people that would never happen, but deep down I’d really like to have a family. I just have an ominous feeling that it’ll never happen… so, I try not to think of it and simply tell people that having a family just isn’t right for me.

Back on topic... I really love Laura and Alex! Laura's been one of my best friends since sixth grade, and Alex since I met him five years ago. They've always been so wonderful to me... they truly are family!

Poor Abby

When visiting my mom today, I noticed that Abby had injured one of her paws. My mom tells me that she sliced her paw on a broken piece of glass a few days ago... hence, the taped up sock on her rear paw. Poor baby!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Spending the Night at Work

Alex and I just finished playing Star Wars Legos for PS2 in the breakroom theater... On to watching He-Man now! Though having to be here all night long kinda sucks, this job does have its benefits!

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

The first DVD set to officially hit the market is a "10 Best Episode" 2 DVD set from the original 1983 series. The He-Man and the Masters of the Universe - Best 10 Episode Collector's Edition arrived at my store on Tuesday, July 12, 2005 (of course I purchased the first one we had)... I haven't really had time to watch it yet. I have to stay overnight at work while contractors install our new P.O.S. (piece of shit, er.. point of sale... what's the difference?) I'll watch it in our breakroom that we transformed into a theater tonight... nice size screen... it's about 25-30 ft!

A poll taken at, the most powerful He-Man fansite in the universe, and was used to determine the 10 episodes which would be published on this 2-DVD set. The top 5 episodes from Season 1 and the top 5 from Season 2 were chosen to occupy the digital realm of this release, along with many extras Here are the complete contents of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe - Best 10 Episode Collector's Edition, counting down the episodes to the most favorite ones from the polls:

Disc 1 (Best of Season 1):
#5: "Evilseed"
#4: "Quest for He-Man"
#3: "Prince Adam No More"
#2: "Diamond Ray of Disappearance"
#1: "Teela's Quest"

Disc 2 (Best of Season 2):
#5: "Into the Abyss"
#4: "Teela's Triumph"
#3: "To Save Skeletor"
#2: "The Problem with Power"
#1: "Origin of the Sorceress"

Special Features:
Two brand-new documentary featurettes with a variety of talent involved in the making of the original series, including voice-over actors, artists, and those working behind the scenes.

Two 4" x 6" exclusive He-Man art cards, by Bruce Timm and Adam Hughes.

Trivia and "fun facts" about the creation of He-Man

Upcoming releases trailer

Beginning this fall, BCI Eclipse will begin releasing the complete, 130 episode series in multi-disc "season" box sets, each including an abundance of extras that, altogether, will make up the most comprehensive collection of extras ever produced for a classic animation DVD series. I can't wait!

Another Comic Featuring Revenge of The Sith

Sunday, July 17, 2005

One Last Time

Today is Keith's last day at the store... I felt compelled to hide his bike once more... this time on the highest shelf in the warehouse, between two big screen TV's. Not only should this be difficult for him to locate, but it should also be an issue getting down since he doesn't know how to operate the stockpicker.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen Lend Me Your Ears...

Wow! I had to be up at the ass crack of dawn this morning... Josh is holding a meeting with his sales associates on "Back to School" promotions. Not really sure why I'm here for this (hence the mobile blogging.) At least Josh can keep it interesting and up-beat!

Meeting moment of Zen (minus all of the sexual innuendo and lude humor): Josh trying to use a German accent, but sounding like an Indian accent instead!

Bomb Threat

When you recognize that a call is a bomb threat, please try to remain calm. Be courteous, try not to irritate the caller in any way, listen carefully for any vocal or background indications of the caller's identity or location. If possible, take notes while the caller is on the phone, write down anything that the caller says. Try to keep the caller on the phone as long as possible. Don't upset the caller; be as cooperative as you can. Try to get as much of the following as possible by asking:
  • Where is the bomb?
  • When will it go off?
  • What does the bomb look like?
  • Did you place the bomb?
  • If so, why?
  • If not, how do you know about the bomb?
  • Are you working alone?
  • Are you affiliated with a group?
  • If so, what is the name of the group?
  • Can you get in contact with them to discuss the situation?
  • Will you call again, either before or after the bomb goes off?
  • If so, will you be contacting this same phone number?
(This is actually a part of our emergency action plan at work on how to handle a bomb threat... I especially enjoy the last two questions!)

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Who Needs Luck?!

Many of friends frequently tell me that I have the worst luck. I do have some pretty rotten luck quite often (doesn't everyone though)... however I know that I don't have the worst luck. Keith has the worst luck (at least the worst of anyone I know!)

I hired Keith about 8 months ago. Josh and I first came across Keith at TGIFridays up in Round Rock. He was an outstanding waiter and had a great personality. He gave Josh liquor (though Keith probably wasn't aware that Josh was underage at the time), and he hung out with us and listened to our horror stories of retail each night. He expressed interest in working with us, so I hired him. He is probably one of the best sales associates in the store!

This happened a couple months ago... Keith's pos car broke down on mopac (been there done that)... it got towed. He didn't have the money at the time to get it out. Two weeks go by... the cost to get out has now exceeded the worth of the car. He just left it and is now without a car.

To get by without his car, Keith moved closer to the store (he lived way the hell up north near Josh and myself.) Joe, one of my sales managers, lent Keith his bicycle... so now Keith rides the bike to and from work each day. Not a bad means of transportation as long as the sun isn't out. It's been hot like hell this summer! At least he's not forced to put up with these outrageous gas prices that the rest of us do (it's extortion I tell you!)

Keith has also had several unfortunate encounters with the law over the couple months as well. He has such bad luck with police that he's had a lawyer on retainer for the last two years! He just doesn't have very good luck... way too many stories to tell... up till recently.

Keith was just offered a job as an assistant sales manager at CompUSA across the street. He'll be making much more money (maybe be able to get a new car now!) I'm really happy for him! I hope he does well over there... we'll miss him over here! As TEX would say (for those of you who have attended UT at Austin)... Good-bye and good luck!

Here's Keith after he reacquired his bike... I hid it in the warehouse. I rode it around in there while he chased after me. After I felt he was sufficiently winded, I gave the bike back so he could make his journey home for the day.

Friday, July 15, 2005


One of my warehouse associates, Casey, was refilling his cup with some water from our new high performance water filter in the general office when I noticed something odd... his styrofoam cup had two holes in it. I made the remark that they looked like a vampire had bitten his cup... he then proceeded to smile at my comment when I noticed his canines. He has some fangs!

I can't believe I've never noticed it before (hell, I hired him about seven months ago, and today is the first day I noticed his teeth!) His canines are significantly longer and sharper than the rest of his teeth. He actually has fangs. He told me that his father and others in his family have the same tooth condition. It just looks so awesome! He's like a daywalker! LOL!

M*A*S*H Theme - Suicide Is Painless

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The game of life is hard to play
I'm Gonna to lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say


The sword of time will pierce our skin
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger watch it grin


A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied oh why ask me


And you can do the same thing if you please

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Star Wars Legos

Damn! I knew that if I started to think about video games today that I'd probably end up buying one! I purchased this absolutely ridiculous game, Star Wars Legos. Surprisingly, it is really fun... which translated for me means highly addictive!

Sales Myth

Earlier today I observed my store director, Gilbert, training one of our technology senior sales people, David. Gilbert suggested to David that he tell customers he's not on commission. I found this to be very odd. There was a time after our company did away with commissioned sales people that it was required of us to inform customers that we were not commissioned, but we haven't done that in quite some time now. Even back then, it always irked me to tell customers this because it reinforced a false stigma about commissioned sales people.

Here's what most people assume... someone who works on commission is only concerned about selling you the most expensive thing possible so they can make more money off you. If you're not buying anything expensive, they won't want to help you. It's also assumed that sales people who are not commissioned will be more attentive to everyone, regardless of purchase price, and are more likely to help you find what you need.

This could not be further from the truth!!! The fact is a commissioned sales person is definitely more likely to make sure you get what you need and won't over-burden you with extras you don't want. Here's why... a commissioned sales person only gets to keep their commission if you keep your product. If they over sell you on something, sure, they'll get a big commission up front... but when you return it, they will lose the entire commission, thus their income. Because of this situation, a commissioned sales person is definitely going to make sure you really want what you purchase.

A sales person who does not work on commission could care less if you purchase anything or not. Your decision to purchase something has no effect on their income. A commissioned sales person is interested in assisting anyone with anything because they'll make a commission on anything they sell. If they aren't helping customers, they aren't making money. Non-commissioned sales people are also less inclined to have a great deal of product knowledge. There's no incentive for them to know everything about every product they sell. Whether you get the product that's right for you or not, it makes no difference to a non-commissioned sales person.

This is all a generality, and there are exceptions to these cases I've mentioned... but in my professional experience with sales (both commissioned and non-commissioned), this is the conclusion I come to regarding the matter.

Simple Plan - Untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

[Chorus x2]

Legend of Zelda

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for Nintendo 64 is one my most favorite video games of all time. I'd really love to play it again... perhaps right now because I'm bored, but that would require me to leave work and go home... what a shame that would be! I should have a copy of it for my Nintendo GameCube... though the GameCube version (titled The Master Quest) is changed a bit. The boss stages are a bit more difficult, which makes the game much more fun!

I try not to involve myself with video games or pc games nowadays... it's just too easy for me to get obsessive with them. When I first got The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I think it was the Friday afternoon right before Spring Break during my freshman year in college. I played the game continuously for a solid week, only breaking for the restroom, food, and sleep. Before I even knew it, my Spring Break was over. I wasted it away on a game! Nasty little addiction!

Dreaming of Sleep

Up bright and early this morning... had to be at work at 6am (again) to let the janitor service into the store to do the floors. This time they arrived on time. I really wish I was in bed sleeping right now.

I think I tore some muscle in my chest while doing dips yesterday... it aches whenever I breathe! I did discover that very heavy bass feels very soothing on a sore chest (the subs actually have a practical application!)

I'm wondering just how early I can leave today... I'd really love to go home asap so I can go to bed! If I were to close my eyes for more than three consecutive seconds right now, I could easily be in a deep sleep!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


Anger : A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

I was so angry with my store director and district manager for keeping late at work today... they made me late for my appointment with Justin. Luckily, Justin was very understanding and was cool with me being about ten minutes late.

Traffic didn't help much either. It took me two hours to travel 30 miles. What the hell is up with that?! There's a small amount of precipitation and then all of a sudden everyone forgets how to drive!

This is what I could have done today with all of my anger!

I feel much better after my workout though. The adrenaline rush actually assisted me quite a bit with today's intense workout.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Always Something!

It's always something... I was thinking earlier in the day that this might be my first real normal day in a long time. However, destiny would not have it that way! There always has to be some weird situation that becomes a travesty of sorts.

I'm driving home from the gym... my legs are still quite sore! Rather than take the shortest avenue home, I take a pleasant scenic route through the back roads of Pflugerville. It was an absolutely beautiful night; not a cloud in the sky. So I decide to open the sun roof (I hate opening it during the day because the sun always manages to irritate my eyes) and crank up the music (of course I most definitely have the loudest sound system in the area!)

I'm cruising down the road listening to Seven by Prince when I come to a red light. I honestly don't know where my mind wandered off to, but it clearly wasn't in the car with me... I treated the red light as a four way stop. I made a complete stop, and then I went right through the red light. I didn't even realize what I had done. About 30 seconds later, I see some red and blue lights appear out of nowhere! Just then it occurred to me that I ran that red light.

What could I possibly say... what defense could I give... I had no reasonable excuse for running the light... day dreaming won't work as a great excuse! I'm so screwed, and this time it was unconditionally my fault! Joking with police officers had worked in the past, maybe it would work again... hell, I was too exhausted to think of anything funny to say.

I rolled down my window to greet the officer... hey, I recognized this guy from somewhere, perhaps high school. I remembered the face, but that's about it. What the hell was his name... Jeremy... Derek... Adam... hell, I couldn't remember! My memory has really deteriorated over the last several years! Apparently he remembered me though... he didn't even ask for my id, he just started right in to "hey man, you remember when..." The fact of the matter was that I did not remember his name or any story he told, but I sure as hell played along like I did! After discussing my car speakers for awhile, he finally left, and I was spared getting a ticket. I still can't think of his name or where I know him from!

Daily Dilemma

I love the people I work with... hell, it's even fun to get to play with all the new electronics day in and day out... I'm definitely in a nice comfort zone... however, I unquestionably despise my job whenever my district manager or regional vice-president are involved. I have no respect for either one of them... they have no leadership skills and they constantly make the worst decisions possible.

I'm completely at a loss on how I should continue. Should I stay and just put up with their hypocrisy and corruption... should I expose them and probably get fired in the process... should I simply move on to something new... I just don't know. I'm afraid that anything I choose will be the wrong choice!

I'm gut is telling me to move on at the moment. The only problem I have goes back to the beginning... I love the people I work with. I need to make sure that they are all taken care of before I decide to leave.

Fantastic Pics

Elemmaciltur was so awesome and sent me these super hot pics of Chris Evans. Isn't this reason enough to go see The Fantastic Four? LOL!

Monday, July 11, 2005

No Work Today!

Today was not a bad day at all. First off, I get a call from Eagle Transmission early this morning. My transmission and clutch are in excellent condition... so, to you hippies that told me that I didn't know how to drive my own car, screw you! LOL! I guess the only problem is that the car still occasionally makes a weird noise that no one can explain.

It's great to have the car back (even with the jacked up rear end and hot pink painted under-carriage). Kimball's car had no XM and the air conditioner wasn't working very well at all. It's been entirely too hot outside recently for the air conditioner to not be working correctly! I dropped his car off to get looked at. I think it just needed some more freon.

Today's workout at the gym was particularly hard. Leg day on the German volume training. I can take the pain relatively easy on any other part of my body, but when my legs start hurting, I feel sick to my stomach! I am proud that I did complete the entire workout for the legs today, even with the constant possibility of me throwing up the entire time! Afterwards, Justin wanted to see if I could run... I took about five steps running when my legs just about gave out on me and I almost landed on my face. Everyone within viewing distance should have been thoroughly entertained by my stumble!

Finally got to see The Fantastic Four tonight. It wasn't the greatest movie ever created, but I still really enjoyed it... I may be a bit biased because I love the comic book so much. Damn, Chris Evans (Johnny Storm / The Human Torch) is so incredibly hot! He's got such a sexy body, and the movie showed it several times! That may have made me even more biased on my praise of the movie.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Still Working...

Yes, Josh and I are still at the store re-merchandising it... and no, it's not fun at all! In fact, it down right sucks! It doesn't matter how much work we put into it, things still look like crap because the store is so rundown and old. It's kinda like putting lipstick on a pig! I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

This Shit Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!

I think there’s something severely wrong with my transmission! The engine is making too much noise… the rpms are a bit high as well. I hope it’s not the clutch. That would be way expensive to fix!

I dropped it off at Eagle Transmission on Manchaca, but they were closed today (of course). Luckily, I was able to commandeer my old car from Kimball for the next several days while they figure out what the hell is wrong with my car.

I need to try to find out what I did to get on God’s shit list! This wrath that I’m incurring is really starting to take a toll on my livelihood!

Red Ross

Ross is pretty pissed off right now (he's my roadshop manager). Our corporate office is constantly raising his sales budget. I keep telling him they're only doing this to him because he's the best... he really is though.

I hired Ross several years ago to be a roadshop sales person back when I worked at the Round Rock store as a customer service manager. He's always been a powerful asset to the store.

I hate to see him feeling down because he's really one of the best people I've ever known. He's so caring and generous to everyone. Hey, I was able to get a smile out of him this morning!

How Ghetto?

I'm always telling people how old and ghetto my store truly is, but I don't think they fully grasp the scope of the matter. This is a picture of the "key" we use for many of the doors in the building!

Our store is simply considered to be too old for our corporate office to invest any money into improving anything (even the broken doors)... instead they keeping telling me that they'll relocate our store in the near future, and then we'll have the new hotness for everything! I'll believe it when I see it!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Time For Bed!

Longer day at work today. I got there at 6:00am because our janitor service was supposed to clean the floors this morning (in fact, they just called yesterday to confirm their visit for this morning)... well, they didn't show up until 8:30am! I was slightly perturbed by this!

My store is the oldest store in the district (I think it's 15 years old). It needs to be relocated badly (or at least remodeled!) The store is so ghetto looking inside because the layout and the building are ancient and outdated! I spent the entire day trying to make the store at least appear more presentable than it's looked in years. I didn't get finish until 9:00pm.

I'm completely accustomed to working all day, but today just wiped me out for some reason! I am so exhausted, physically and mentally! I really wanted to go see The Fantastic Four tonight, but I'm just too drained! I think I'm going go to bed in just a few minutes... gotta be back at the store at 7:00am tomorrow morning! Just what I needed!

Talking Heads - Once in a Lifetime

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Warehouse of Doom!

Since Patrick has been feeling down about cutting his wrist in the warehouse yesterday, I decided to share some of my own personal past warehouse blunders with him.

Incident 1 (October 2002): I sent two new warehouse associates out to a customer's house to deliver a TV. As the associates brought the TV into the customer's home, they hit a glass coffee table. Some lit candles that were sitting on the coffee table fell to the floor and started a small fire on the carpet... the glass on the table fell on the customer's puppy's neck and pinned it to the ground (I was told that the puppy yelped for about 30 seconds as they frantically tried to get the glass of its neck and put out the fire at the same time.)

Incident 2 (November 2002): The warehouse manager was on vacation, so I (being the customer service manager at the time) was given the responsibility of running the warehouse while he was away. This meant handling the replenishment trucks as they came in. These trucks carry product for several stores... each store's merchandise is separated by plywood held up by load bars (large metal bars that expand in length and are set up horizontally like a shower curtain rod.) After our product was unloaded, it was my duty to place the load bars back up. Not knowing any better, I placed the top one first. I expanded the bottom load bar just a bit too much which made the walls of the truck expand apart more... this caused the top load bar to fall... right on the back of my head! I crawled out of the truck (dazed and confused), and threw up in a small trash can in the warehouse. Yeah, I had a severe headache that lasted for about two weeks!

Incident 3 (January 2003): I had one of the worst migraines of my life. So bad I had to go to the hospital for morphine that night... I think they gave me four different shots because nothing was working to alleviate the pain! So needless to say, I was clearly drugged up! The next morning I had to go to work... we were starting physical inventory. My store director wanted me to count the merchandise in the warehouse... this meant I had to use the stockpicker. I probably shouldn't have been using any heavy machinery for several days, but he didn't care. So I got on the picker and started my count. As I was almost finished with the count, I had the picker raised up about 30 ft off the ground. I forgot that I had a 60" inch TV right under the picker. I lowered the picker and the TV was completely destroyed. It looked pretty funny... the screen shot out like a bullet!

Incident 4 (April 2003): I was stocking the floor with product we had just received from a replenishment truck. A lot of the product that belonged in my area of the store was delivered in large plastic totes that were secured with heavy duty twist ties. While opening one of the totes with a box cutter, I sliced my left index finger very badly. It was bleeding profusely, but oddly enough it didn't hurt. I bandaged up the wound (with about 50 feet of gauze because it kept bleeding through) and continued to stock the product. Later that day, I used the injury to gain sympathy with customers... everyone purchased whatever I told them. Manipulation is a great tool!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

It's Always Something!

Today has been an incredibly long day (not bad, not great... just long), and I'm overjoyed that it's finally winding down!

When I woke up this morning, my legs ached very badly! For awhile, it felt like my legs were going to buckle under each step I took. Yesterday, my entire workout was just focused on legs... don't think I'll do that again! Luckily I just finished my template training... now it's on to German volume training beginning Monday afternoon. Justin says it's awesome, but I'll be completely sore for about a week after starting it.

Work was considerably interesting today. Normally, we get a significant amount of bad customers in on Mondays... however, each time a holiday falls on a Monday, we get these preposterous people all week instead! So naturally, it was just one after another today. In all fairness, I actually do enjoy dealing with the difficult and irrational people. They're so easy to toy with, and they never even catch on to that fact!

Later on, I had a meeting with my management staff... Beverlee, my customer service manager... Matt, my warehouse manager... Sean, my planogram and signage manager... and Carla, my merchandising manager. It first started off great! We ordered some lunch from Jason's Deli... they were way late in delivering the food to us, so they gave us some free cookies! As our meeting progressed, Matt became confrontational with Sean... I stepped in, and then the heated exchange was completely between Matt and myself. I had to dismiss the other three so I could finish up with Matt... I could tell they felt unusually awkward... they scurried out of the room immediately when I suggested that they leave. I felt so bad for Carla because I just recently promoted her (so this was her first big meeting with me). I hope she wasn't too freaked out by the squabble.

After that lovely meeting that didn't quite go the way I had intended, Patrick (one of my warehouse associates) cut his left wrist on some glass while placing garbage in the trash compactor. He's a tough kid... wasn't bleeding too badly, but he was clearly in a great deal of pain. After I got him taken care of, I decided that I had experienced enough upheaval for one day and went home!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Anatomy of a Star Wars Geek

This is absolutely hilarious! Troy sent this to me. I know I'm not that bad... Ron may be though (sorry Jen!)

On the way to work this morning...

Vanity plates are always entertaining... I'm going to guess that this person is some kind of musician. I need to get some that say "Sith Lord" or "Punk Ass" LOL!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Another Casualty

That crappy, broken alarm officially killed my battery! I'm at Advanced Auto Parts on William Canon purchasing a new battery... a much more powerful battery! This one should last awhile... I hope. I was told that this is the best battery on the market that will work with my car. So what's next I wonder... I'm still standing with a smile on my face... I have not been destroyed... I'm ready for anything else life wants to throw at me!

The Series of Unfortunate Events Continues

I went to the gym last night around 11:30pm. I had a great workout and left at about 12:30am. As I approached my car in the parking lot, I noticed that the inner lights were flickering on and off, and the car alarm (which hasn't worked in months) was going crazy! My car wouldn't start... the battery was drained pretty badly, but it wasn't completely dead. Since the alarm was jacked up, it wouldn't allow the car to start. The start-kill feature on the busted up alarm was the only thing working... it wouldn't even allow a jump start!

Words cannot truly begin to describe the anger I was feeling! I had a sword in my car (why.. dunno, just do)... and I could feel, even hear the car taunting me: "You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant." I was so inflamed with pure indignation that I couldn't even sleep last night!

Now, I had the alarm originally installed in my car at my store in December... so my roadshop installers should be able to fix it! My plan was simple. I'd hitch a ride to work with Josh. Once at work, I would call a towing company to bring my car (still in the 24 Hour Fitness parking lot) to me at the store. Here's where I ran into a problem. Today is the 4th of July. All of the towing companies I called were closed. On to Plan B... if I can't bring my car to my installers, I will bring my installers to the car (30.5 miles north)... tell me that's not a blatant abuse of power! I'm second in command of this entire store, and as I see it, this is just one of the perks!

Here's Jose, one of my roadshop installers, disabling the faulty alarm and reconnecting the starter. It turned out that the battery was still running quite low on energy. Luckily my personal trainer, Justin, was working... he had some jumper cables. Once the starter was corrected, the car could be jump started.

It appears that the alarm really jacked up the car. Once started, I returned to the store so that Jose and Keith, my roadshop manager, could continue to fix my car from hell!