Friday, February 24, 2006

Perpetual Aurora Of A Vacuous Consciousness


Just to demonstrate the power ridiculousness of a lackadaisical mind (now we find out who has an extensive creative vocabulary and who speaks with a colloquial vernacular!) Anyway, I was thinking earlier today about this guy… The Count from Sesame Street.

If I remember correctly, his full name is Count von Count. I’d like to meet the guy who came up with this name… he has to be a master of naming… possibly has a doctorate in stupid ass-shit! I know that most children aren’t super geniuses or world-class scholars, but really… Count von Count. That’s about the same amount of creativity as Stan Lee’s the Thing.

So what’s up with this Count guy? Sure, he obviously has a fetish for counting, but does anyone actually think this guy has a degree in mathematics? I’d like to see him teach children some “advanced” mathematical concepts such as fourth-order homogenous differential equations addition or subtraction.

All this guy does is count anything and everything, regardless of size, amount, or how much annoyance he is causing anyone who is watching! If anything, the lesson that children should learn from the Count is that even vampire-puppets can suffer from various mental illnesses such as obsessive-compulsive disorder! In all fairness though, old folklore from Eastern Europe suggests that many vampires suffered from a form of OCD, being particularly fascinated with counting. Poppy seeds were often placed on the ground at the gravesite of a presumed vampire in order to keep the vampire occupied all night counting.

So other than the whole obsessive counting thing, I don’t know that this Count is actually a vampire. Does he cast a reflection in the mirror? Is he vulnerable to sunlight? Does he fear crucifixes? Does have an allergic reaction to silver or holy water? Can he enter a private residence without being invited? Who the hell knows!

Ok… that’s all I have to say about that!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heheheh... You make me giggle (although before you get over excited, the half bottle of wine I've just had did help).

I know a guy who laughs just like the count, but far louder... I shit ye not! The guy laughs like a metronome!

E
x

Frank said...

Does your guy who laughs like the Count but far louder have a cat named Fatatatita? (Another great name btw!)

Anonymous said...

Sadly not.

E
x

Ron said...

Yeah, and Ernie's gay!

Siren said...

I can't even comment

Frank said...

Edward - That's good! I'd have to seriously question a person's mental capacity who would name anything something that ridiculous!

Ron - What would I do without your gaydar for the obvious!? :-P

Siren - No comment equals ZERO comment... HA HA HA! Can you count to zero? :-P

celtgirl said...

You have put way to much thought into a MUPPET!!!!

Frank said...

Hey... someone has to think about all the important things in life!!!