10. Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O"
9. You won't sleep with your wife unless she says, "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope"
8. You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca
7. You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill
6. Your favorite pickup line: "Would you like to handle my light saber?"
5. You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid"
4. You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force" to open a can of pears
3. You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack
2. Your sex life is strictly "Han Solo," if you know what I mean
1. You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot
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