Saturday, September 23, 2006
And You Thought I Was Gone...
One reason I haven’t updated the old blog very often is simply that I’ve been so freaking busy. I’m at work constantly. I’ve been working ridiculous hours… and for no reason. They’ve been working us like slaves for absolutely no reason at all!
Another reason I haven’t kept up with this blog is because this blog was originally a place I’d go when I was lonely or sad. I’ve been neither of these for quite a while. In fact, I’ve never been happier over the last few months.
I have been both lonely and just plain sad over the last couple days. There’s just so much crap going on… I feel like my whole life is falling apart.
I’m getting ready to move… a move that’s gonna suck bad! I have to be out of my current apartment by Sept 30, and I can’t move into my new one until after Oct 7. So that in itself sucks… not to mention I have very little help. My dad is gonna help me move my crap into storage on Wed… and that’s all the help I’m gonna get with that unfortunately.
I caught a nasty cold a few days ago. I was feeling perfectly fine, I took a nap for one hour, and when I woke I had a cold, hard-core! I don’t even know where it came from! I’m actually feeling better, though I think the cold moved into my chest. With any luck, I’ll get pneumonia and just die! LOL!
And then there’s work… the name for my pain! It is truly a den of thieves… a bordello of lies… a wretched hive of scum and villainy. I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it. It is driving me crazy. I can no longer tolerate the backwards-talk and hypocrisy anymore.
I’ve also just been lonely, hurt, and miserable. Who can I turn to for support? I kinda just feel numb of all emotion right now. I haven’t felt this sad in awhile. I don’t want to get into this too much. I’m just plain miserable. That’s all I have to say about that. :-(
I’m just plain scared. I don’t feel like I have any control over my life right now. I feel like I’m headed on a course of destruction, and I have no one to help steer me clear of it.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Yet Again...
What SuPeR HeRo Would You Be?
Superman
You are strong, but a little on the shy side, you are talented. But a word of advice, don't go changing in telephone boths, you can get arrested!
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?
Your Political Profile: |
Overall: 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal |
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal |
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Superman Returns
So, I watched Superman Returns today for the second time (just to make sure I didn’t miss anything the first time with all the excitement and anticipation from the first viewing). I can honestly say that I absolutely loved the movie!
- All the characters were perfectly cast! Brandon Rough, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Sam Huntington, and even the late Marlon Brando! Everyone fit their role so perfectly. Wonderful acting all around… no weak links!
- Wonderful cinematography. Bryan Singer is a fucking genius! There were countless scenes that were just… picture-perfect for lack of a better word. A few off the top of my head… Superman’s descent into the Fortress of Solitude, Superman rising towards the sun to regain his strength, etc…
- Great references to past movies (Superman I & II). Some examples… Lois’s first interview with the Man of Steel, “I Spent the Night with Superman,” Superman’s little speech about how flying is still the safest means of travel, all of Brando’s greatest lines back on the big screen, Kitty’s reference to Lex Luthor being in the Fortress of Solitude before, etc…
- Solid story. This wasn’t a remake of a great story or even something we’ve already been exposed to in the Superman universe. It was a continuation of an already excellent story… and though it was a very different story (nothing from the comics or other Superman lore), it stayed true to Superman in every way. Like the first and second X-Men movies and Batman Begins, this new Superman story fits into the world of today in a very realistic manner.
"You will carry me inside you all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your own eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father the son" - Jor-El & Superman
Friday, June 23, 2006
One More Superman Returns Trailer
Btw: Have I ever mentioned the fact that Brandon Routh is fucking HOT!?!
Monday, June 19, 2006
I'm Still Alive, Despite Rumors Of My Demise!
Let’s start with work, i.e the bad and ugly! So… my company grand opened a new, bigger, prettier store about 5 miles away from me, draining my business… a competitor grand opens a new store also about 7 miles away, thus reducing my customer traffic even more. How does my company respond to this to help my store out??? They increase my sales budget/target by over 20%!!! WTF!!! That is sooooo not what I needed!!! Needless to say, work sucks… and not in the good way!
Then, I was out of town last week in Dallas for a company regional “rally.” Now while I admit there was great information given at this “rally,” I still don’t understand why it was called a “rally.” Doesn’t rally imply something fun and exciting??? Dictionary says… A gathering, especially one intended to inspire enthusiasm for a cause. This being the case, this “rally” was certainly a gathering, but nothing more than that. To make matters even more interesting, I got a terrible migraine the first day I was there because we didn’t eat for such a long period of time.
After the meeting that lasted a couple days, someone decided that a trip up to the Ardmore distribution center (located in Oklahoma) would be a great idea since we were
Other than that, there’s really not a lot going on with work right now… I’m currently on vacation til Saturday, so things are slightly laid back. I say “slightly” because I can’t completely relax as I constantly worry about how things are going at work in my absence. After returning from Dallas, I stopped by the store to take a look at how things were proceeding only to be shocked at how it looked as if particular parts of the store were falling apart. The store standards looked like poop! I was quite disappointed… but even more than that, that is a major factor in my not being able to relax now while on vacation. I’m worried that things may be worse by the time I get back.
Josh is leaving the company, and I couldn’t be happier for him! Another company made him a nice offer, and he accepted. Good for him! I have to say that his departure from the company that we both have served at for over five years now has certainly got me thinking about what I want to do. As much as I love my job and the people there, I feel as if there is something else I should be doing. Not sure what though. All I know is that I definitely don’t want to be doing this for the rest of my life… perhaps not even for another year. I just don’t know. This will be something I need to carefully consider over the next few months.
That’s all I got on the work front… now onto the good. Back on May 18th, there was something I desperately needed to get done that day as it was pretty much the last day I could finish it on time… my online defensive driving course. For people unfamiliar with this (i.e. Edward), the completion of a defensive driving course allows a traffic violation to be removed from one’s driving record. In my case, the traffic violation was speeding. Yes, I speed. I have a lead foot; I have a need for speed. I’m particularly fast when certain songs play on the radio (i.e. Top Gun’s "Danger Zone").
Anyway, for those who have ever taken a defensive driving course, they’re boring as hell! I, being the expert procrastinator that I am, decided to do absolutely anything else that day other than complete the course. I even went in to work that day, despite it being my day off… that’s how badly I did not want to take that course. Hell, Troy even sent me the answers to the test (as he has taken the course countless times), and I was still too damn lazy to just get the damn thing taken care of.
So, I continued to put the course off by browsing myspace profiles. I came across one profile in particular of a graduate student, Jimmy, attending Texas State (about 25 minutes south of where I live). He had posted some awesome lyrics to some songs he had written on his myspace blog. I was thoroughly impressed with what he had created… so I emailed him expressing how much I enjoyed his song lyrics. He also happened to be procrastinating that day on myspace too (with editing his thesis). We emailed each other back and forth for awhile. He asked if I wanted to meet him that evening and watch some dvd’s with him… YES!!! Another great excuse for me not to complete (or rather, begin) my defensive driving course.
We met that evening at his place, went out to eat with one of his friends, and watched Rent. There was a mutual and natural connection/attraction between the two of us, so we started dating. Every time we were with each other was just great. I honestly can’t remember a time that I’ve been happier.
On June 5th (the night before I had to leave for the Dallas “rally”), Jimmy asked me to be his boyfriend. As exceedingly guarded as my heart has been for awhile do to extremely painful, past relationships, I went ahead and took the risk and haven’t looked back since. I just sometimes wonder what he sees in me. I certainly don't feel deserving of the love he constantly gives me. I'm just not used to someone caring about me the way he does.
Right after I got back from the “rally” and Ardmore tour of duty, Jimmy and I went to Laredo to see his family for the weekend. It was his mother’s birthday, and he wanted to surprise her by showing up. That was my first trip to Laredo… it reminds me a lot of McAllen, just prettier and cleaner! Haha! His family was absolutely great! So open and so caring!
Anyway, I’m gonna to head to bed now. I’m physically exhausted. Today, about half an hour before my workout with my trainer, my energy just disappeared. It felt like I took some prescription drug that nearly knocked me out cold. No good. My workout was lousy, at least as far as I was concerned. On the drive home, I constantly felt like I was going to fall asleep at the wheel. Dunno what’s wrong. Hopefully I feel better and more energetic tomorrow.
Btw: I have to say I'm quite surprised that I didn't get abuse from the blog nazi, Jennifer, for not posting anything in such a long period of time... apparently Edward is now picking up her slack! Haha!!! Thanks Edward for theabruptfriendly push to continue my postings! I greatly appreciate it!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Embarrassed Bush
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Humor Style
the Cutting Edge |
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top. Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi The 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules - If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Friday, May 19, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Are You?
Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are You?
Leonardo
You're mature and get the job done. You are a natural born leader, and normally want to be the better of the group. You take your job seriously. You must! It may NOT be a game. When you select a sport, or something you want to do, you train continueously, constantly trying to perfect it. You're always prepared for a challenge, and are normally found one step ahead of your enemies. Loving family more than life itself, you are a good friend, and can be depended on at all times.
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Which ArchAngel Are You Most Like?
Michael. You're most like the ArchAngel of Defense. You like to hit things, and you like naked people, preferably cute naked people. A real down-to-earth angel who likes frogs and is easily distracted by bright, shiny things.
Take this quiz!
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12684 other people got this result!
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Monday, May 15, 2006
The Muppet Personality Test
Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Colbert At White House Correspondents' Dinner
The last WHCA's annual dinner on April 29th was absolutely hysterical with special guest speaker Steven Colbert. I highly recommend watching it! You won’t be disappointed with his extremely ballzy yet ultimately hilarious performance.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Oooops! Damn!
Anyway, I noticed earlier this morning that I just had too many applications running in the Windows status bar, so I went to start closing the ones I knew I didn’t need running. In closing several of them, I accidentally started a Windows update that had been sitting down there for months.
Fuck! I couldn’t stop it! Fuck! I couldn't undo any of the changes either! Fuck! So after it was completed, all I could do was restart my computer and see what damage had been done. Fuck!
It turns out the Microsoft has finally gone “Big Brother” us! When Windows starts up, I get an enormously distracting message that says: “You may be the victim of software counterfeiting.”
Then I get a star looking program that constantly runs in the Windows status bar that I cannot terminate. When clicked on, this program brings up an Internet Explorer window (IE sucks btw; long live Firefox) that gives me the details on why my version of Windows may not be genuine:
You may be a victim of software counterfeiting. The Windows product key installed on this computer is not genuine.No shit!!! I purchased this version of XP years ago from the University of Texas, who is an authorized discount Microsoft provider. They give the same software key to everyone! This is ridiculous! Microsoft can kiss my ass! I’m not falling for their thuggish and remedial approach to get more of my money.
The Windows product key installed on this computer is a Volume License Key (VLK) that has been blocked. A VLK is typically licensed to organizations that want to use multiple copies of Windows. However, if a VLK is reported as stolen or leaked, it is blocked from passing validation and is not considered genuine.
Buy a genuine product key online
Special offer: Purchase a genuine product key online and convert your system to genuine Windows.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Luchador Name Generator
el puta de la dolor
(the whore of doom)
What's your Luchador Name?
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Just When I Thought That I Was Out They Pull Me Back In
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Superman Returns Trailer
I'm soooooooooo excited!!!
Adding To The Collection
Smallville: Season 1
It’s hard to believe that I already didn’t have this box set. It just so happened that when I purchased seasons two, three, and four, we were out of the first season and never got anymore in. I wasn’t too worried about getting this one at the time I got the others because I had actually already seen all the episodes in the first season, as I was regularly watching TV at that time in my life. It’s just nice to have the complete set now. All I need now is for the fifth season to be released on DVD!!!
Karas: The Prophecy
This is one of the two movies that I had not previously seen. Quite an interesting anime! The graphics and animation were absolutely astounding… and the story was great too. It took me about 75% of the movie to understand what the hell was going on… and then just I was really getting into it, it just ends! Apparently this DVD is only the first half of the entire story. The second half isn’t going to be released until September. WTF!!!
Helen of Troy
This was actually a made for TV movie back in 2003. If I remember correctly, it was shown on the USA channel. I love Greek mythology, but the only real reason I watched this show back when it came on was because the guy who played Paris, Matthew Marsden, is unconditionally gorgeous!!! The story wasn’t great (wasn’t very much like Homer’s Illiad at all, but neither was the recent movie Troy), but damn that guy is so hot. Movies that suck but have good-looking guys is always a great reason to purchase them on DVD!
Les Miserables
I haven’t seen this movie in years!!! Such a wonderful story. Whenever I begin to lose my faith in humanity (remember, I work in retail and encounter some of the worst people on a daily basis), I think of this movie and how Jean Valjean, a completely heartless convict, transforms by a single act of mercy. The perfect example that everyone has the power and strength to truly change. Not to mention it stars Liam Neeson and Geoffery Rush, who are simply outstanding in the movie!
Dominion
This the other movie that I hadn’t seen yet (and actually still haven’t). This is the original prequel to the Exorcist. A good friend, Nathan, swears that this movie is much better than the newest prequel the recently came out, Exorcist: The Beginning. So, I’m anxious to see if the movie truly stands up to the level of quality he’s lead me to believe that it is.
Top Gun
Yes, I hate, I hate, I hate Tom Cruise!!! Regardless of that though, this movie rocks! This is the typical 80’s movie… cliché dialogue and countless memorable quotes! I actually owned this DVD for quite some time, but I don’t know where it is. Someone jacked it, and then never returned it. I’m definitely gonna have to create a database or something for all who commandeer borrow my DVD’s.
Jason and the Argonauts
This was another made for TV movie created several years ago, but unlike Helen of Troy, this movie is definitely more inline with classic Greek mythology. And it too has a super hot lead actor in it, Jason London. One of the fantastic things about Jason London is the fact that he has a twin brother, Jeremy London. Imagine a three-way with the two of them!!!
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
I remember when this movie first came out. It received a lot of bad press. Basically, everyone said the movie sucked, and I believed them. So I never went to see it while it was in theaters. Months after it stopped showing at the theaters, Josh, guaranteed me that the movie was worth watching and made me a copy. I was shocked. The movie wasn’t super great, but it surely was good. I was most impressed! Very interesting take on a strange array of characters. Most enjoyable! Anyway, the copy he gave me lacked in quality, so I decided to actually purchase it! And despite what others may think, Sean Connery kicks ass!
Sunday, April 30, 2006
New Superman Clip
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Six Easy Pieces
It just so happens that Six Easy Pieces is also a title to one of my favorite books that I’ve owned since my junior year in high school. It is a condensed collection containing the six easiest chapters from Dr. Feynman’s landmark work, Lectures on Physics. These six easy pieces include atoms in motion, basic physics, the relation of physics to other sciences, conservation of energy, the theory of gravitation, and quantum behavior.
He also has a book out that I purchased my senior year in high school, Six Not So Easy Pieces, dealing with vectors, symmetry in physical laws, the special theory of relativity, relativistic energy and momentum, space-time, and curved space. I can’t tell you how handy this book was during college engineering physics.
Dr. Richard Feynman was that rare scientist who excelled in his field and loved to teach others about what he knew. The thing that distinguishes Dr. Feynman from other physics teachers is his incredible ability to simplify complex and seemingly unintuitive physical phenomena and make them a little more understandable.
Dr. Feynman died in 1988, but his works made such a huge impact on me when I first read them. I was so pumped-up and just plain enthusiastic about physics, especially in high school… oh how I wished I could have attended one of his lectures. Hell, I still do wish I could have!
Anyway, I’m finished with my little tangent that all started with an Austin band’s name that brought back some wonderful memories.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Fabulous
After I got off of work for the day yesterday evening, I came home to get something eat (because I’m always freaking hungry) and change. I headed back to work to paint a new kiosk that we made for the front of the store (long boring story on why we have the new kiosk, so I won’t go into that.)
Sean and I went to Home Depot to purchase some spray paint for this little project, red and yellow. I figured that I could easily do some spray painting without fucking up my clothes… I was wrong (All I hear is now Obi-Wan’s voice echoing in my mind… “I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.”)
I got paint all over my new Monster Squad shirt, on my favorite pair of jeans, and on my shoes. My grandfather helped me get the paint off my shirt and almost completely off my jeans (using WD40)… despite our best efforts, the shoes could not be saved. I guess that’s fine… I now have a reason to get some new ones that I’ve been wanting for awhile now. Only problem is that they aren’t offered anywhere in the US, so I have to order them online. I’m always weary of ordering any kind of clothing online simply because I can’t try anything on.
Anyway, everything still smells like WD40… that is until this morning!!! I went back to work briefly to finish up with the kiosk (looks fantastic btw)… then I came home to take a quick shower before going out to get some groceries. I was in a huge hurry for no apparent reason. I didn’t dry myself off very well, and I went to use my hairdryer… I have never received an electrical shock like the one I got this morning!!!
I can’t even really describe the way it felt. The most I can say is that it really hurt and I could swear it stopped my heart for like five seconds. For the next hour or so, all I could smell was burnt hair… though I can’t find any burnt hair, so it may be burnt flesh or something. I guess I should feel lucky that the shock didn’t ignite the fumes of the WD40… but I’m actually just happier that I don’t smell that WD40 crap anymore. It was starting to give me a headache!
WTF Is Wrong With Me?
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Brian & Stewie Stoned
Anytime when I take medication (not a pain killer, rather a triptan that activates serotonin receptors) to alleviate a terrible migraine, I usually have an incredibly heightened state of awareness for several hours. It’s like being awaken into a new state of existence that is always truly there hiding in the shroud of reality.
Anyway, here's a funny little clip of such a phenomenon demonstrated by Stewie!
Superhero Quiz
You are Superman
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Superman ................. 100%Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
The Flash ................. 90%
Green Lantern ............. 75%
Supergirl ................. 75%
Iron Man .................. 70%
Robin ..................... 65%
Spider-Man ................ 65%
Wonder Woman .............. 60%
Hulk ...................... 60%
Batman .................... 50%
Catwoman .................. 35%
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Batman: Dead End
Here's a badass Batman fan film I've come across. Very interesting. It's only about 8 minutes long, so if you have the time I highly recommend that you give it a quick view. Quick bit about the fan film: Batman faces an old nemesis and the greatest challenge of his life.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
XM Adds To Their Line-Up
- U.S. Country - XM 17 - Country Superstars of the 80s and 90s
- Flight 26 - XM 26 - Modern Hits 90s & Now
- XM Hitlist - XM 30 - Today's Hit Music
- enLighten - XM 34 - Southern Gospel
- XM Liquid Metal - XM 42 - Heavy Metal XL
- Big Tracks - XM 49 - Later Classic Rock
- The Heat - XM 68 - Rhythmic Hits
- Escape - XM 78 - Easy Listening
- XM Chill - XM 84 - Chill Music
- Viva - XM 91 - Latin Pop Hits
Best Two Minutes Of Episode One
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Unusual Fact About Me
I frequently tell people that I don’t know how I would live if I ever became lactose intolerant. Most of the time I get a snide little chuckle in return… but I think that’s because people just don’t realize how much milk I really do consume. It’s a ridiculous amount!
My mom and my sister Kristy were making fun of me the other day when I stopped by to visit after being at the gym, and I drank nearly ½ a gallon of milk in less than a 2 hour span of time. Hell, I can’t help it! That’s what my body wants!
I recently found that it’s recommend that people drink 250ml (.06 gallons) of milk each day. I drink 1250% of that recommended value!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Return Of The Jedi
So I arrive in Vegas on Sunday afternoon. I wasn’t feeling great as I felt I was leaving too many unresolved issues behind at home and was thinking this trip was going to make matters worse. To make things more interesting, I knew that I would be spending most of my time with the few people in existence that I just don’t get along with well at all. Overall, the forecast of the trip looked extremely gloomy from the start!
That night we had a nice reception and dinner for several hours, giving me a chance to see people (old friends) I haven’t seen in ages!!! Among a few of them was Todd who’s a district manager in Dallas, TX now (ok, I just saw him a few weeks ago, but it was very limited in time, so we didn’t get a chance to catch up), Kevin who’s a store director in Irving, TX (one of the best store directors I’ve ever worked for), and Doug who is a region vice president now on the west coast (he was by far the very best district manager I’ve ever worked for.) The only person who could have topped these wonderful people who I respect above all others would be Charles (the best store director I’ve ever worked for and possibly one of the best people in the world!)
Anyway, spending time with these old friends (who always have a special place in my heart) really brought back some great memories. More than that though, they really helped me… more than they realize. I didn’t talk to them at all about how miserable I’ve been, but without knowing how depressed and lost I felt, they really helped me!
Some of them would refer to me or introduce me to others as “the guy who can do anything,” or “the guy who makes doing the impossible look easy,” etc… the ridiculous nicknames go on. This really just floored me!!! This person they were describing (me)… I didn’t recognize this person. That’s not who I am right now. I don’t know if I was really ever that person, but I’m clearly not that person now.
To continue this avalanche bewilderment, some of them even continue to tell others how I inspired them by many of the business and personal adversities that I had overcome and conquered. These people who are so very special to me, who I look up to, who I admire… they’re “inspired” by me??? They’re inspired by how I have and live (or really had and lived) the mindset that anything is possible??? Who is this person??? Again, I’m completely flabbergasted at who they think I am, or even was. I’d really like to meet this person who they were claiming I am (was.)
That first night I really didn’t sleep. I walked the entire Las Vegas strip. For those who have been to Vegas, you know that the strip is really long… yet I walked the entire thing that night into the morning. There’s a lot to look at all down the strip, but I honestly don’t remember seeing anything that night/morning. I was too focused on trying to figure out why I changed so much over about a year’s time.
In the end, I decided that the circumstances at work and in my personal life that lead me down this dark path over last year aren’t the issue. The issue is why I allowed myself to change in the way I did due to these circumstances. Why did I empower these few adverse situations to have such a negative impact on my life? I don’t know. I used to have a powerful mindset that allowed me to overcome most the most difficult and unpleasant situations. It was my frame of mind that anything is possible… the only impossibilities were the ones that I would allow my mind to create.
Seeing all of this in retrospect with the help of a few friends (who have absolutely no idea how much they helped me), I see the path I need to return to. I need to refocus my mind back to that old mindset I used to have. I know it’ll take some time… after all, it didn’t change overnight to what it is now. I journeyed down this dark path over the course of a year. So I’m completely aware that I have quite a ways to go before I can return to my old way of thinking that anything is possible.
Empty the mind and you will realize the undisturbed mind.” – some Tibetan quote. (Don’t know who said it! Hehe!)
This trip truly gave me the opportunity to clear my mind in a way that would have been too difficult to do at home. It gave me the time I needed to truly and honestly self reflect on who I am, who I was, and who I want to me. I don’t want to be who I am now… this person depresses me. I don’t necessarily want to be who I used to be, as obviously that person, as open as their mind was, still fell down a dark path. I want to be a person with the mindset I used to have, but with the knowledge that I currently have… the knowledge learned from failure… the power learned from failure. I want to be this person who others believe I am.
I know it’s going to be a rocky and difficult journey to get there, but I’m willing to go there. The first thing I need to change to get there is the fact that I am alone. I do everything alone. I succeed and I fall alone. I don’t want to go on this journey alone. I need to learn to ask for help. I need to allow myself to be at least somewhat more dependent on others. I need to be willing to accept help, not just give it. I need to allow the people who are close to me to truly be a driving influence in my life. This too is something I know won’t happen over night, but I’m willing to take the journey there as well.
Enough about that!!! I’m sure I’ve already bored you to tears with my greatly needed self reflection. Now for some frequently asked questions and answers about the trip…
1. Was this “business trip” really about business in Las Vegas, or was it just an excuse to party all the time?
Work started at 7am each day and continued thru 7 or 8pm each evening. It was really tedious work and grueling meetings… but they were productive. After work was done each night, then we could do whatever we wanted to.
I had the clear advantage of the group. I already was only getting like 2-3 hours of sleep a night, so I handled the lack of sleep MUCH better than everyone else. As exhausted as I still was, I was much more coherent all day each day. (Turns out the several weeks of virtually no sleep came in quite handy!)
2. Did you gamble?
I did, but very little. I only gambled about $40, of which all I lost! I’m not really a big fan of losing money for no good reason. I watched Todd loose $500+ dollars in a matter of 5 minutes. I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that!!!
Now that being said, I don’t have a problem wasting money. I bought a bathrobe and a nice new shirt (that were clearly over priced, but still looked great!) I also had the opportunity to get a few little trinkets for several of you guys!
3. Do you do anything scandalous in Las Vegas?
Here’s a very brief (and overused answer): What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!!
4. Did you get along with some of those few people who you never get along with?
Surprisingly, yes. We actually all kind of bonded in a very odd and dysfunctional way. Though I didn’t spend a lot of my free time with these few people, I think we all came to a mutual understanding and respect for each other.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
A New Game
1. reply with your name and i'll respond with some random things about you.
2. i'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. i'll pick a flavour of jelly to wrestle with you in.
4. i'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. i'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. if i do this for you, you must post this on your journal. you must. it is written.
Note: Keep in mind that my punk ass job has really been limiting my free time lately, so I'll respond as soon as I can.
The Touch
Monday, March 20, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
New He-Man DVD's
I’m currently lounging at home watching the new copy of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Season 1, Volume 2 box set I purchased earlier today. What’s so great about this classic cartoon is how amusing I still find it after 20 years!
For example, in the episode I just finished watching, The Dragon’s Gift, Prince Adam and Cringer run to an empty spot in the castle to transform out of everyone’s sight… however Cringer keeps running and hides around a corner where Adam can’t see him because he hates to be transformed into BattleCat. Just as Adam turns into He-Man, he points his sword toward the wall where Cringer ran to, the power emitted from the sword ricochets off the wall and turns the corner where Cringer is hiding, transforming him into BattleCat.
After I saw that, I just erupted into uncontrollable laughter… giggling like a small child for at least a solid 5 minutes straight. Hell, I’m still laughing about it!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Stupidity Alert Level
Level 1 - Inability to understand rebates.
Level 2 - Overwhelming sense of entitlement.
Level 3 - Average I.Q. < 100.
Level 4 - Difficulty tying shoes.
Level 5 - Not able to feed themselves.
Level 6 - Forgets to breathe often.
Level 7 - Drooling, babbling, bed-wetting morons.
Most Sundays usually run at a level 5, but we're currently holding strong at a level 4. Mondays are always the worst days though (as those who have ever worked at a customer service desk know.) Tuesdays, after a three day weekend, are always a level 7 for some odd reason. Never understood that one!
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Now Discover Your Strengths
Strategic
The strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, “What if this happened? Ok, well what if this happened?” This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard paths that lead nowhere, straight into resistance, into a fog, or into confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path – your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: “What if?” Select. Strike!
Achiever
Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day – workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving when you’re feeling down.
Restorative
You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and find the solution. You may prefer practical problems or conceptual ones or personal ones. You may seek out specific kinds of problems that you have met many times before and that you are confident you can fix. Or you may feel the greatest push when faced with complex and unfamiliar problems. Your exact preferences are determined by your other themes and experiences. But what is certain is that you enjoy brining things back to life, and you are very good at doing it. It is a wonderful feeling to identify the undermining factors, eradicate them, and restore something to its true glory. Intuitively, you know that without your intervention, this thing – this machine, this technique, this person, this company – might have ceased to function. You fixed it, resuscitated it, rekindled its vitality. You saved it!
Relator
Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simply terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people – in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends – but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from simply being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk – you are probably taken advantage of quite frequently – yet you accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to that it is genuine is to entrust yourself to the other person and take risks together. The more risks you take together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine.
Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for way to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for signs of growth – a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or a flow where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments – invisible to some – are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you ut for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Going To Vegas
I was really trying to get out of work early today as I’ve been there for over a solid week without a single day off, working 12 – 15 hours a day… didn’t happen though (which consequently has extremely cut into my internet time at home… or actually all my home time for that matter!!!) I’ve really just been focused on developing the employees lately, which has been really fun. They’re all a really great bunch of people! I even got to promote two more managers today... that's always fun!
Back to the Vegas trip… apparently someone decided it would be a fantastic idea to list 5 strengths of each store director on their name badge for the rally in Las Vegas… so after I left work I had to go purchase this book (Now Discover Your Strengths) that all the store directors had to get and take a test online. I think it would have been cool to just use one of the countless of quizzes and such already on the net… but they felt the purchasing of this book would be better (they love spending money!) And to top it all off, there doesn't appear to be a Cliffs Notes or movie for this particular book!!! :-P
So after 30 minutes of taking this test (which was timed to extract a forced gut reaction to questions), here’s what this test says my top five strengths are (which will be engraved on my Vegas name badge nonetheless):
Strategic
People strong in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.
Achiever
People strong in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.
Restorative
People strong in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at out what is wrong and resolving it.
Relator
People strong in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.
Developer
People strong in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
4 Non Blondes - What's Up?
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar.
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say: HEY! yeah yeaaah, HEY yeah yea
I said hey, what's going on?
And I say: HEY! yeah yeaaah, HEY yeah yea
I said hey, what's going on?
And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray all sanctity
For a revolution.
And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?
Twenty-five years I'm alive here still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
for a destination
Wow… this song is almost completely accurate to how my last week has been. I am completely drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. I honestly don’t know what I’m running on at the moment. I knew I was stepping in to a big mess with this new store, but I had no idea on the full extent of this war torn store. I swear, just as I get one major issue corrected, like 8 more pop out… it’s like a freaking super hydra from hell!
Each day I come home, all of my energy is completely spent. Caffeine has definitely become a primary source of fuel for me after work… all I need is a chemical dependency to add to this stairway to hell!
I keep hoping that I’ll be approaching the light at the end of the tunnel each day, but it just feels like I’m getting further and further away from it. All I can say is that this is really taking a harsh toll on me… I can feel a few years of my life being shaved off each day. I can’t even cry about the situation, even though I’d love to… I know that would make me feel a bit better, but I just can’t. I just have to endure it until I get everything in order. So be it!
Ok, that’s enough of that… I can’t stand to think of that crap anymore! Good news… all my new employees are great! I really do look forward to seeing them each day.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Superman Returns: The Videogame
Click Here To Play
A brief game synopsis:
Witness Superman using his super powers to save Metropolis from Metallo, one of many classic super villains in Superman Returns: The Videogame. Inspired by the upcoming Warner Bros. Pictures feature film and more than 60 years of DC Comics lore, the game creates the first multi-dimensional open-world super hero experience.
As the Man of Steel, you hone your unworldly super powers such as Flight, X-Ray Vision, Heat Vision, Super Hearing, Super Strength, Super Speed, and Super Breath to fight villains only Superman can defeat. Revolutionary new flight mechanics that give you full command of your aerial maneuvers. Explore and protect the truly living city of Metropolis, which is not only expansive (with 80 sq miles and more than 9,000 buildings), but also changes dynamically based on how you play the game: citizens run away in terror from newly erupting danger and exit their cars to cheer and snap photos as you fly overhead. Experience what it’s like to be Superman like never before with Superman Returns: The Videogame.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
All Good Things Must Come To An End
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the opportunity to do more on a much larger scale in another store… I’m just not certain that particular things and certain situations were where I wanted them to be for the people I’m leaving behind. There’s some unfinished business that I hope will be handled the right way, but I can’t be certain of that since I won’t be there… I’m no longer able to protect many of the people I really care about from a lot the of unfair circumstances that constantly arise. That’s probably what’s most unsettling about this whole situation.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Face Recognition Website
Because we had nothing better to do today at work (unless you consider
My matches:
Tom Cruise – 64%
Denise Richards – 58%
Eminem – 51%
River Phoenix – 48%
Josh’s matches:
Matt Dillon – 57%
Russell Crow – 53%
Quentin Tarantino – 51%
Tom Berenger – 49%
Carla’s matches:
Elizabeth Taylor – 72%
Salma Hayek – 72%
Beyonce Knowles – 71%
Heather Locklear – 70%
Lindsay Lohan – 70%
Sean’s matches:
Sean William Scott – 67%
Tommy Lee Jones – 65%
Joshua Jackson – 60%
Gwyneth Paltrow – 58%
Tom Green – 57%
Saturday, February 25, 2006
More Fun Quizzes
Klein Sexual Orientation Grid
I scored an average of 4
0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
Heterosexual | Bisexual | Homosexual |
Meaning
This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual
Summary
The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.Take the quiz
The Five Love Languages
My primary love languages are probablyPhysical Touch and Quality Time.
Complete set of results
Physical Touch: | 12 | |
Quality Time: | 12 | |
Acts of Service: | 5 | |
Words of Affirmation: | 1 | |
Receiving Gifts: | 0 |
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.Take the quiz
Friday, February 24, 2006
Perpetual Aurora Of A Vacuous Consciousness
Just to demonstrate the power ridiculousness of a lackadaisical mind (now we find out who has an
If I remember correctly, his full name is Count von Count. I’d like to meet the guy who came up with this name… he has to be a master of naming… possibly has a doctorate in stupid ass-shit! I know that most children aren’t super geniuses or world-class scholars, but really… Count von Count. That’s about the same amount of creativity as Stan Lee’s the Thing.
So what’s up with this Count guy? Sure, he obviously has a fetish for counting, but does anyone actually think this guy has a degree in mathematics? I’d like to see him teach children some “advanced” mathematical concepts such as
All this guy does is count anything and everything, regardless of size, amount, or how much annoyance he is causing anyone who is watching! If anything, the lesson that children should learn from the Count is that even vampire-puppets can suffer from various mental illnesses such as obsessive-compulsive disorder! In all fairness though, old folklore from Eastern Europe suggests that many vampires suffered from a form of OCD, being particularly fascinated with counting. Poppy seeds were often placed on the ground at the gravesite of a presumed vampire in order to keep the vampire occupied all night counting.
So other than the whole obsessive counting thing, I don’t know that this Count is actually a vampire. Does he cast a reflection in the mirror? Is he vulnerable to sunlight? Does he fear crucifixes? Does have an allergic reaction to silver or holy water? Can he enter a private residence without being invited? Who the hell knows!
Ok… that’s all I have to say about that!
Monday, February 20, 2006
Johari Results
Arena(known to self and others) dependable, intelligent, knowledgeable, powerful, witty | Blind Spot(known only to others) able, accepting, bold, brave, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, energetic, extroverted, giving, independent, ingenious, logical, observant, patient, reflective, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-conscious, spontaneous, trustworthy, wise |
Façade(known only to self) silly | Unknown(known to nobody) adaptable, calm, dignified, friendly, happy, helpful, idealistic, introverted, kind, loving, mature, modest, nervous, organised, proud, quiet, religious, self-assertive, sensible, sentimental, shy, sympathetic, tense, warm |
Dominant Traits
56% of people agree that LordValek is powerful
All Percentages
able (6%) accepting (31%) adaptable (0%) bold (25%) brave (43%) calm (0%) caring (6%) cheerful (6%) clever (18%) complex (6%) confident (31%) dependable (18%) dignified (0%) energetic (6%) extroverted (50%) friendly (0%) giving (12%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (18%) ingenious (18%) intelligent (43%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (18%) logical (6%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (37%) organised (0%) patient (6%) powerful (56%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (12%) relaxed (6%) religious (0%) responsive (6%) searching (6%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (6%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (12%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (6%) warm (0%) wise (12%) witty (50%)
You can make your own Johari Window, or view LordValek's full data.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Candy Heart Quiz
Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss" |
You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive |
Friday, February 10, 2006
Johari Personality Quiz
My Interactive Johari Window
The Premise:The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.
This should be interesting to say the least! :-P
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
My Highly Productive Day
I got to hang out with Jennifer a bit today. We went out to eat at some little Vietnamese place on the east side of town (great food!) She informed me that BruceCampbell.com announced that The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. will soon be released on DVD! That show and more importantly, Bruce Campbell, are freaking awesome! That’s a definite must buy! Too bad it won't be out before the b-day; that would be the only gift I'd really want! Hehe!
Today’s Moment of Zen had to be on the car ride back to Jen’s place. Most of the time we have no problem with agreeing on what music to listen to (we like pretty much the same stuff), however she wanted to listen to Michelle Branch and I wanted to listen to Simple Plan. As we’re flipping through the XM channels trying to decide on which of us was gonna get our way, we stumbled across Foreigner’s I Want To Know What Love Is. It was a lot like that scene in Tommy Boy where they come across the Carpenters’ Superstar. Neither one wants to admit that they want to listen to it, but by the end of the song, they’re both singing it together!