Where Do I Pick Up An Application?

This just proves that I've been working at the wrong place all of these years! How do I get a job at this place?


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Leeroy Jenkins!

I’ve been debating for nearly a week on whether or not to post this video. My only concern is the file size… it’s a big one… nearly 15 mb (just under three minutes long.) I went ahead and decided to post it anyway because it’s just too funny!


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Just What I Needed, Again!

One more great slogan to add to the collection, this time brought to you by Creative Sounds. I caught this out of the corner of my eye as I was walking past mp3 players this morning. Does everything have to be some sort of sexual innuendo with me... Yes!

I Want, But Can't Have

I want to envelop you in my arms
I want to sooth your fears
I want to warm your heart
I want to wake with you and linger whispering in the dark
I want to push you to be more than you ever dreamed
I want to laugh with you
Play with you
I'm pretty sure I want to cry with you too

I saw this sweet poem on Mad Munkey's blog... I find it to be hopeful and soothing. Makes me feel like I'm still asleep dreaming; however, I know that when I awake, I'll have to come back to reality... my reality.

A Present For Josh

I'm definately gonna get one of these devices for Josh for Christmas... I understand that he could use it (or so he says!)


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Indecent Proposal... Priceless

This is a cute little video... my one and only issue with it is that I think it's just a bit too long. Otherwise, pretty funny!


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Jester's Dead

Our Loss Prevention department decided to do away with our old, convenient stockpicker belt harnesses... now we utilize these ridiculous full-body harnesses (crotch cutters, package pinchers, etc.) I have Maverick and Goose here modelling the new harnesses!

Drunk

This is great for all, but anyone who's ever been truly drunk off their ass can appreciate this on an entirely different level!


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My Dream Christmas Gift

This is why I never received a lightsaber for Christmas (other than the fact that they also don't exist... or at least that's what I've been led to believe!)


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Did You Hear That?

The air filter between my room and my office / ferret room / war room has been making the most peculiar noises. It sounds like ghosts or something… and it’s been freaking me out! I swear I can hear creepy voices seeping out of the vent! It’s literally going to drive me insane!

Good... Bad... I'm The One With The Camera Phone

Still shooting videos with the phone all the time now. Always looking for something interesting.

Some people act nervous or fussy when the camera is rolling. The entire persona transforms… once second you have a friendly and caring individual… the next, a scary and malign person.


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Others remain completely normal… they act as if the camera isn’t even there. These are the people born for reality tv.


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Now that Castpost is avaiable, I find myself taking more video with my phone... perhaps I'll catch something interesting... maybe not. I know that anytime Josh is involved, it'll always be amusing. He always has some absurd remark ready to fire at any given moment. Fabulous wit. No one makes me laugh quite like Josh!


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Road Trip

I start my district-wide tour tomorrow... travelling to stores that have new and/or inexperienced operations managers to assist them in preparing for their mid-year physical inventory. Luckily, I will have Beverlee with me to keep me company (and to make sure my sanity stays intact!)

Normally, I don't mind driving around from city to city for the company... but hell, gas is expensive (my car uses premium!) I made the store pay for my gas upfront ($115) for the next three days during my voyage around central Texas. I'm already for it to be over though!

Consumed In Darkness

I used to remember a time when I dreamed of a future where I would be happy with my life. I used to have such optimism in my heart… perhaps I still do, it’s just so much more painful nowadays. I miss those times… all I see now is darkness. I’ve managed to engineer a domain of misery that I can’t escape. I just want it to end. I’m through of wishing for happiness… I know that’s just a dream.

Once several years ago (I think I was 17 years old at the time), my mom came down with a horrible migraine. I drove her to the hospital and they drugged her up nicely! She was totally incoherent. On the way back home, she told me something that I always had suspected… she told me how my grandmother would always tell her how much happiness I bring them and that she’s always so relieved that my mom never had the abortion with me that she had scheduled months before I was born. I know she didn’t even realize what she had told me… she was way too drugged up with morphine to have any inhibitions on things she should or shouldn’t say. I’m sure she doesn’t even have a clue that I know now.

The fact of the matter is that I wish sometimes that she would have just had the abortion. I’m sure she’d have a much happier life. I love my mother, but I feel that I’m the root cause of so much of the pain in her life. She and everyone else I’ve ever known would be much better off if I never existed. I’m just a burden. I don’t know how I could ever bring any happiness to anyone’s life… I can’t even make myself happy! I’m no good to anyone, especially myself. I just feel so worthless and unwanted! I wish the darkness would consume me... erase me from existence!

Maybe I’m just tired or need some artificial happiness (caffeine – artificial life and happiness.) I hate feeling this way! It usually emerges when I’m extremely tired, but can’t sleep (like now.) Hopefully after some sleep, I’ll feel more like myself… just mostly miserable, not completely miserable.

Don't Touch My Bone

Troy sent this to me and it is absolutely hysterical! This dog is really messed up... it's so great! I can't get enough of it!


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The Picard Song

In honor of the late James Doohan, I figured I would post something Star Trek related. I don't have anything particularly humorous to post about him personally, but I do on another Star Trek alumnus... Patrick Stewart. I received this mp3 from Josh months ago... I had just forgotten all about it. It's called the Picard Song, and it was created by DarkMateria. It's pretty funny and cleverly done!


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Twenty-One Year Old Lush

Wow! Kristy has been twenty-one for an entire day and she's not wasting any time on utilizing her newly acquired power (liquor purchasing power that is!) Perhaps one day she'll be able to hang with big brother!


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I don't think she's posted anything on her new blog yet. Hey Jen... when are you getting a blog?!

Dante's Inferno

Yes, yes... another one of those silly quizzes! What can I say... I'm bored at the moment... these quizzes give me something to do!!!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Beam Me Up, Scotty

Like I've said before, I'm really bad with current events... luckily, a friend told me about this (so I wouldn't find out about it weeks later.) On Wednesday, James Doohan (Star Trek's Scotty) died at the age of 85 from pneumonia and Alzheimer's disease. It's really sad that's he gone... no more Mr. Scot. He always seemed like such a nice guy... in fact, many tell stories of how great he was to fans at Star Trek conventions. But it really upsets me that he died from Alzheimer's disease... I hate Alzheimer's!!!

Anyway, although he became synonymous with the line "Beam me up, Scotty", it was never actually said in the series... which is ironic, because he'll always be remembered for that! Something else I don't think many people know is the fact that he wasn't Scottish... he was Canadian. He was simply a master of dialects.

It appears that his ashes are to be sent into space at his request. The Space Services Inc company said his ashes could be on a Falcon 1 rocket launching from California's Vandenberg Air Force Base, tentatively scheduled for launch in September. When I die, I want to be shot into space in a torpedo (like Spock), or I need to be burned in the woods wearing a Darth Vader costume!

Weird Video

Elemmaciltur started using CastPost to post videos... so I decided, what the hell, let's give it a spin! For those of you looking to post videos, give CastPost a try... they are very helpful should you need assistance! They're also offering free accounts during their alpha testing stage!

Anyway, here's a weird video I found on my phone several weeks ago. I don't even remember someone taking my phone to take this video to be perfectly honest. I'm not really sure what's going on either, but it appeared to be quite funny at the time... David is on the left, I'm in the middle, and Beverlee is on the right! Just a bit bizarre!


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On The Go In My Car Of Death

My car could easily be the white horse of Death... though it hasn't recently tried to take my life! Speaking of which, I need to go get some artificial life, aka caffeine!

Spotter = Safe

Here's my advice for the day... always have a spotter when you do any kind of bench press with free weights. This sounds obvious enough, but many people ignore this safety practice... me included! Today during a set of bench presses, my right arm gave out and I dropped a 60 lb dumbbell on my chest, right near my shoulder. I was expecting it to tickle, but it just hurt.

What To Do..?

Went to lunch with Josh today… he clearly doesn’t like our store director. This actually got me thinking though… our district manager has only promoted one kind of person… “yes” men. I find this to be truly regrettable because this kind of person will not make the company successful… in fact, they’ll run it into the ground. If no one ever has the courage to disagree with a bad idea (which there is an over abundance of at our company), what hope does the company have of being successful?

It just disappointments me that all of the store directors he’s promoted in the nine months he’s been in our district are incapable of independent thought. They are simply extensions of our dm. What kind of person would want to lead a bunch of mindless morons… someone who has such low self-esteem that they need to surround themselves with incompetence so that they can feel better about themselves.

I think our store director is a great person, but he doesn’t have the respect of the store. In fact, most have told me that they think he’s plain dumb, which isn’t true at all. He just lacks experience. He’s too much a “manager,” and not enough a “leader.” What’s my role here? Am I supposed to help him gain the respect he needs to effectively run the store, or should I let him deal with his own problem? Is it my responsibility to make him an effective leader?

Poor Abby

When visiting my mom today, I noticed that Abby had injured one of her paws. My mom tells me that she sliced her paw on a broken piece of glass a few days ago... hence, the taped up sock on her rear paw. Poor baby!

Spending the Night at Work

Alex and I just finished playing Star Wars Legos for PS2 in the breakroom theater... On to watching He-Man now! Though having to be here all night long kinda sucks, this job does have its benefits!

Friends, Romans, Countrymen Lend Me Your Ears...

Wow! I had to be up at the ass crack of dawn this morning... Josh is holding a meeting with his sales associates on "Back to School" promotions. Not really sure why I'm here for this (hence the mobile blogging.) At least Josh can keep it interesting and up-beat!

Meeting moment of Zen (minus all of the sexual innuendo and lude humor): Josh trying to use a German accent, but sounding like an Indian accent instead!

Bomb Threat

When you recognize that a call is a bomb threat, please try to remain calm. Be courteous, try not to irritate the caller in any way, listen carefully for any vocal or background indications of the caller's identity or location. If possible, take notes while the caller is on the phone, write down anything that the caller says. Try to keep the caller on the phone as long as possible. Don't upset the caller; be as cooperative as you can. Try to get as much of the following as possible by asking:

• Where is the bomb?
• When will it go off?
• What does the bomb look like?
• Did you place the bomb?
• If so, why?
• If not, how do you know about the bomb?
• Are you working alone?
• Are you affiliated with a group?
• If so, what is the name of the group?
• Can you get in contact with them to discuss the situation?
• Will you call again, either before or after the bomb goes off?
• If so, will you be contacting this same phone number?

(This is actually a part of our emergency action plan at work on how to handle a bomb threat... I especially enjoy the last two questions!)

Sales Myth

Earlier today I observed my store director, Gilbert, training one of our technology senior sales people, David. Gilbert suggested to David that he tell customers he's not on commission. I found this to be very odd. There was a time after our company did away with commissioned sales people that it was required of us to inform customers that we were not commissioned, but we haven't done that in quite some time now. Even back then, it always irked me to tell customers this because it reinforced a false stigma about commissioned sales people.

Here's what most people assume... someone who works on commission is only concerned about selling you the most expensive thing possible so they can make more money off you. If you're not buying anything expensive, they won't want to help you. It's also assumed that sales people who are not commissioned will be more attentive to everyone, regardless of purchase price, and are more likely to help you find what you need.

This could not be further from the truth!!! The fact is a commissioned sales person is definitely more likely to make sure you get what you need and won't over-burden you with extras you don't want. Here's why... a commissioned sales person only gets to keep their commission if you keep your product. If they over sell you on something, sure, they'll get a big commission up front... but when you return it, they will lose the entire commission, thus their income. Because of this situation, a commissioned sales person is definitely going to make sure you really want what you purchase.

A sales person who does not work on commission could care less if you purchase anything or not. Your decision to purchase something has no effect on their income. A commissioned sales person is interested in assisting anyone with anything because they'll make a commission on anything they sell. If they aren't helping customers, they aren't making money. Non-commissioned sales people are also less inclined to have a great deal of product knowledge. There's no incentive for them to know everything about every product they sell. Whether you get the product that's right for you or not, it makes no difference to a non-commissioned sales person.

This is all a generality, and there are exceptions to these cases I've mentioned... but in my professional experience with sales (both commissioned and non-commissioned), this is the conclusion I come to regarding the matter.

Dreaming of Sleep

Up bright and early this morning... had to be at work at 6am (again) to let the janitor service into the store to do the floors. This time they arrived on time. I really wish I was in bed sleeping right now.

I think I tore some muscle in my chest while doing dips yesterday... it aches whenever I breathe! I did discover that very heavy bass feels very soothing on a sore chest (the subs actually have a practical application!)

I'm wondering just how early I can leave today... I'd really love to go home asap so I can go to bed! If I were to close my eyes for more than three consecutive seconds right now, I could easily be in a deep sleep!

Always Something!

It's always something... I was thinking earlier in the day that this might be my first real normal day in a long time. However, destiny would not have it that way! There always has to be some weird situation that becomes a travesty of sorts.

I'm driving home from the gym... my legs are still quite sore! Rather than take the shortest avenue home, I take a pleasant scenic route through the back roads of Pflugerville. It was an absolutely beautiful night; not a cloud in the sky. So I decide to open the sun roof (I hate opening it during the day because the sun always manages to irritate my eyes) and crank up the music (of course I most definitely have the loudest sound system in the area!)

I'm cruising down the road listening to Seven by Prince when I come to a red light. I honestly don't know where my mind wandered off to, but it clearly wasn't in the car with me... I treated the red light as a four way stop. I made a complete stop, and then I went right through the red light. I didn't even realize what I had done. About 30 seconds later, I see some red and blue lights appear out of nowhere! Just then it occurred to me that I ran that red light.

What could I possibly say... what defense could I give... I had no reasonable excuse for running the light... day dreaming won't work as a great excuse! I'm so screwed, and this time it was unconditionally my fault! Joking with police officers had worked in the past, maybe it would work again... hell, I was too exhausted to think of anything funny to say.

I rolled down my window to greet the officer... hey, I recognized this guy from somewhere, perhaps high school. I remembered the face, but that's about it. What the hell was his name... Jeremy... Derek... Adam... hell, I couldn't remember! My memory has really deteriorated over the last several years! Apparently he remembered me though... he didn't even ask for my id, he just started right in to "hey man, you remember when..." The fact of the matter was that I did not remember his name or any story he told, but I sure as hell played along like I did! After discussing my car speakers for awhile, he finally left, and I was spared getting a ticket. I still can't think of his name or where I know him from!

Daily Dilemma

I love the people I work with... hell, it's even fun to get to play with all the new electronics day in and day out... I'm definitely in a nice comfort zone... however, I unquestionably despise my job whenever my district manager or regional vice-president are involved. I have no respect for either one of them... they have no leadership skills and they constantly make the worst decisions possible.

I'm completely at a loss on how I should continue. Should I stay and just put up with their hypocrisy and corruption... should I expose them and probably get fired in the process... should I simply move on to something new... I just don't know. I'm afraid that anything I choose will be the wrong choice!

I'm gut is telling me to move on at the moment. The only problem I have goes back to the beginning... I love the people I work with. I need to make sure that they are all taken care of before I decide to leave.

No Work Today!

Today was not a bad day at all. First off, I get a call from Eagle Transmission early this morning. My transmission and clutch are in excellent condition... so, to you hippies that told me that I didn't know how to drive my own car, screw you! LOL! I guess the only problem is that the car still occasionally makes a weird noise that no one can explain.

It's great to have the car back (even with the jacked up rear end and hot pink painted under-carriage). Kimball's car had no XM and the air conditioner wasn't working very well at all. It's been entirely too hot outside recently for the air conditioner to not be working correctly! I dropped his car off to get looked at. I think it just needed some more freon.

Today's workout at the gym was particularly hard. Leg day on the German volume training. I can take the pain relatively easy on any other part of my body, but when my legs start hurting, I feel sick to my stomach! I am proud that I did complete the entire workout for the legs today, even with the constant possibility of me throwing up the entire time! Afterwards, Justin wanted to see if I could run... I took about five steps running when my legs just about gave out on me and I almost landed on my face. Everyone within viewing distance should have been thoroughly entertained by my stumble!

Finally got to see The Fantastic Four tonight. It wasn't the greatest movie ever created, but I still really enjoyed it... I may be a bit biased because I love the comic book so much. Damn, Chris Evans (Johnny Storm / The Human Torch) is so incredibly hot! He's got such a sexy body, and the movie showed it several times! That may have made me even more biased on my praise of the movie.

Still Working...

Yes, Josh and I are still at the store re-merchandising it... and no, it's not fun at all! In fact, it down right sucks! It doesn't matter how much work we put into it, things still look like crap because the store is so rundown and old. It's kinda like putting lipstick on a pig! I'm not even supposed to be here today!

This Shit Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!

I think there’s something severely wrong with my transmission! The engine is making too much noise… the rpms are a bit high as well. I hope it’s not the clutch. That would be way expensive to fix!

I dropped it off at Eagle Transmission on Manchaca, but they were closed today (of course). Luckily, I was able to commandeer my old car from Kimball for the next several days while they figure out what the hell is wrong with my car.

I need to try to find out what I did to get on God’s shit list! This wrath that I’m incurring is really starting to take a toll on my livelihood!

Red Ross

Ross is pretty pissed off right now (he's my roadshop manager). Our corporate office is constantly raising his sales budget. I keep telling him they're only doing this to him because he's the best... he really is though.

I hired Ross several years ago to be a roadshop sales person back when I worked at the Round Rock store as a customer service manager. He's always been a powerful asset to the store.

I hate to see him feeling down because he's really one of the best people I've ever known. He's so caring and generous to everyone. Hey, I was able to get a smile out of him this morning!

How Ghetto?

I'm always telling people how old and ghetto my store truly is, but I don't think they fully grasp the scope of the matter. This is a picture of the "key" we use for many of the doors in the building!

Our store is simply considered to be too old for our corporate office to invest any money into improving anything (even the broken doors)... instead they keeping telling me that they'll relocate our store in the near future, and then we'll have the new hotness for everything! I'll believe it when I see it!

Time For Bed!

Longer day at work today. I got there at 6:00am because our janitor service was supposed to clean the floors this morning (in fact, they just called yesterday to confirm their visit for this morning)... well, they didn't show up until 8:30am! I was slightly perturbed by this!

My store is the oldest store in the district (I think it's 15 years old). It needs to be relocated badly (or at least remodeled!) The store is so ghetto looking inside because the layout and the building are ancient and outdated! I spent the entire day trying to make the store at least appear more presentable than it's looked in years. I didn't get finish until 9:00pm.

I'm completely accustomed to working all day, but today just wiped me out for some reason! I am so exhausted, physically and mentally! I really wanted to go see The Fantastic Four tonight, but I'm just too drained! I think I'm going go to bed in just a few minutes... gotta be back at the store at 7:00am tomorrow morning! Just what I needed!

Warehouse of Doom!

Since Patrick has been feeling down about cutting his wrist in the warehouse yesterday, I decided to share some of my own personal past warehouse blunders with him.

Incident 1 (October 2002): I sent two new warehouse associates out to a customer's house to deliver a TV. As the associates brought the TV into the customer's home, they hit a glass coffee table. Some lit candles that were sitting on the coffee table fell to the floor and started a small fire on the carpet... the glass on the table fell on the customer's puppy's neck and pinned it to the ground (I was told that the puppy yelped for about 30 seconds as they frantically tried to get the glass of its neck and put out the fire at the same time.)

Incident 2 (November 2002): The warehouse manager was on vacation, so I (being the customer service manager at the time) was given the responsibility of running the warehouse while he was away. This meant handling the replenishment trucks as they came in. These trucks carry product for several stores... each store's merchandise is separated by plywood held up by load bars (large metal bars that expand in length and are set up horizontally like a shower curtain rod.) After our product was unloaded, it was my duty to place the load bars back up. Not knowing any better, I placed the top one first. I expanded the bottom load bar just a bit too much which made the walls of the truck expand apart more... this caused the top load bar to fall... right on the back of my head! I crawled out of the truck (dazed and confused), and threw up in a small trash can in the warehouse. Yeah, I had a severe headache that lasted for about two weeks!

Incident 3 (January 2003): I had one of the worst migraines of my life. So bad I had to go to the hospital for morphine that night... I think they gave me four different shots because nothing was working to alleviate the pain! So needless to say, I was clearly drugged up! The next morning I had to go to work... we were starting physical inventory. My store director wanted me to count the merchandise in the warehouse... this meant I had to use the stockpicker. I probably shouldn't have been using any heavy machinery for several days, but he didn't care. So I got on the picker and started my count. As I was almost finished with the count, I had the picker raised up about 30 ft off the ground. I forgot that I had a 60" inch TV right under the picker. I lowered the picker and the TV was completely destroyed. It looked pretty funny... the screen shot out like a bullet!

Incident 4 (April 2003): I was stocking the floor with product we had just received from a replenishment truck. A lot of the product that belonged in my area of the store was delivered in large plastic totes that were secured with heavy duty twist ties. While opening one of the totes with a box cutter, I sliced my left index finger very badly. It was bleeding profusely, but oddly enough it didn't hurt. I bandaged up the wound (with about 50 feet of gauze because it kept bleeding through) and continued to stock the product. Later that day, I used the injury to gain sympathy with customers... everyone purchased whatever I told them. Manipulation is a great tool!

It's Always Something!

Today has been an incredibly long day (not bad, not great... just long), and I'm overjoyed that it's finally winding down!

When I woke up this morning, my legs ached very badly! For awhile, it felt like my legs were going to buckle under each step I took. Yesterday, my entire workout was just focused on legs... don't think I'll do that again! Luckily I just finished my template training... now it's on to German volume training beginning Monday afternoon. Justin says it's awesome, but I'll be completely sore for about a week after starting it.

Work was considerably interesting today. Normally, we get a significant amount of bad customers in on Mondays... however, each time a holiday falls on a Monday, we get these preposterous people all week instead! So naturally, it was just one after another today. In all fairness, I actually do enjoy dealing with the difficult and irrational people. They're so easy to toy with, and they never even catch on to that fact!

Later on, I had a meeting with my management staff... Beverlee, my customer service manager... Matt, my warehouse manager... Sean, my planogram and signage manager... and Carla, my merchandising manager. It first started off great! We ordered some lunch from Jason's Deli... they were way late in delivering the food to us, so they gave us some free cookies! As our meeting progressed, Matt became confrontational with Sean... I stepped in, and then the heated exchange was completely between Matt and myself. I had to dismiss the other three so I could finish up with Matt... I could tell they felt unusually awkward... they scurried out of the room immediately when I suggested that they leave. I felt so bad for Carla because I just recently promoted her (so this was her first big meeting with me). I hope she wasn't too freaked out by the squabble.

After that lovely meeting that didn't quite go the way I had intended, Patrick (one of my warehouse associates) cut his left wrist on some glass while placing garbage in the trash compactor. He's a tough kid... wasn't bleeding too badly, but he was clearly in a great deal of pain. After I got him taken care of, I decided that I had experienced enough upheaval for one day and went home!

On the way to work this morning...

Vanity plates are always entertaining... I'm going to guess that this person is some kind of musician. I need to get some that say "Sith Lord" or "Punk Ass" LOL!

Another Casualty

That crappy, broken alarm officially killed my battery! I'm at Advanced Auto Parts on William Canon purchasing a new battery... a much more powerful battery! This one should last awhile... I hope. I was told that this is the best battery on the market that will work with my car. So what's next I wonder... I'm still standing with a smile on my face... I have not been destroyed... I'm ready for anything else life wants to throw at me!

Cartoon Villains

Yes, there are plenty of other cartoon villains... I just picked the ones I liked. I especially like Skeletor, StarScream, and Cobra Commander... they all have the same voice! LOL!

Tragic Heroes

I've been watching old X-Men cartoons all morning. The characters that most intrigue me are Wolverine and Magneto. Both are what I would consider tragic heroes (much like Anakin Skywalker). I have always been able to relate much more with this kind of character rather than the traditional super hero. Normal heroes are great, but they've always lacked a certain realism to me.

To me, a tragic hero is essentially a character that has some of the personality flaws and ultimate fortune traditionally assigned to villains but nonetheless also has enough heroic qualities or intentions to gain sympathy. Tragic heroes can be awkward, obnoxious, passive, pitiful, and even obtuse... but they are always, in some fundamental way, flawed or failed heroes. Hell, this is what makes them tragic! That's why I love comic books... they feature these tragic heroes who are characters fighting for the side of good, but either with some tragic flaw or by using questionable means to reach their goals. The great irony to me is that a tragic hero is a paradoxical character who is, within the context of a story, a hero but in another context could easily be seen as a villain. My favorite stories and characters draw a subtle line between a tragic hero and a villain... and it sometimes is not really clear which category they fit into.

A tragic hero is a character who constantly moves from one disappointment in their lives to the next, without end, with only occasional and fleeting successes. But they persist and even attain a form of heroic success by never giving up or changing their goals. These characters often keep a deep seated optimism that one day, they will succeed. But in the end they still meet the ultimate fate of a traditional villain... failure. Sometimes I feel that this is what I'm doomed to live.

FUBAR Tire #2 Finally Dies!

Been there, done that! On my way to work today, FUBAR tire #2 finally blew up (on MOPAC again)... it didn't kill me... I haven't decided yet whether that's a good thing or not. The car tried to lose control again, but I was able to keep it from crashing, again. In addition to the current fantastic situation, it's hot like hell out here! The ground, the tire, the tire bolts, and the crowbar are burning me bad! It feels like my hands have been branded! I'm literally soaking in sweat... and I still have to go to work!

Tom Cochrane - Life Is a Highway

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There's a world outside every darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate, break down the garden gate
There's not much time left today

[Chorus:]
Life is a highway
I want to ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I want to drive it all night long

Through all these cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and it's all around
I love you know like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights
Knock me down get back up again
You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man

There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough, this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Tell 'em we're survivors

[chorus x2]

There was a distance between you and I
A misunderstanding once but now
We look it in the eye

There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there wehn the light comes in
Tell 'em we're survivors

[chorus x3]

Bong for the Children

It looks as if there was a slight misprint on this Donkey Kong price tag at work today... or we're going to start selling bongs.

Another Day Off Bites The Dust

It seems that when I get a day off of work that falls on a week day, I pretty much do nothing. Take today for example. I didn't even get out of bed until 4pm. I didn't get dressed until 5:30pm. I just wasted the day away. The worst part about it is that I actually have quite a few things I need to do... I just haven't done them.

I need to make an appointment with an optometrist so I can get some new contacts. I've had these contacts since Episode I. I also need to make an appointment with an oral surgeon so I can get my jaw checked. I'm still driving around on fubar tire #2... it needs to get replaced before it explodes and kills me. Oh hell... I also need to get my oil changed too (just thought of that now)!

My entire day wasn't a complete waste though. I did go to CVS and pick up some things... deodorant, shaving gel, etc... I purchased some more Adidas: Dynamic Pulse body spray. I can't wear cologne, it gives me migraines, but I can use body spray. Troy got me hooked on the Adidas products... he uses the Adidas: Sport Fever and he always smells amazing!

Anyway, my day has really just started. I'll probably try to go to the gym tonight and perhaps even do some cleaning around the house... then I won't feel so bad for lounging around all day doing nothing!

War Of The Worlds

I just got home from watching War of the Worlds with Josh, Jennifer, and Ron. First of all, I'm amazed that I even went to see this movie since I really don't like Tom Cruise. There are a few Tom Cruise movies I enjoy though... Top Gun, Interview With the Vampire, and Collateral.

I really didn't expect much from the movie (even though Ron previewed it a few nights ago and said it was awesome). When everything is said and done, the movie wasn't bad. It wasn't the best movie, but it's something I'd definitely recommend to people who aren't familiar with the original War of the Worlds movie or books. It's at least worth one viewing.

I will admit, there are times that the movie is kind of slow (it's nearly two hours long). The special effects were nice... which is expected nowadays. In some sick and sadistic manner, I was really entertained with all of the anarchy that occurred after the aliens began attacking.

Josh summed the movie up the best... "Didn't I see this movie nine years ago, but with Will Smith?"

Spending Too Much Time At Blogthings!

Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius

You can be cruel and torment people who disagree with you. Deep down, there is a peace-loving, friendly side to you. You have a knack for inflicting pain on people and use your intellect during battle. Star wars character you are most like: Darth Vader

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal ...

A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Your Porn Star Name is: Jason Jizzy

Get your own Porn Star Name

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Penis Name is: 100% All-beef Thermometer

Get your own Penis Name

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 100%

Wrath: 100%

Envy: 80%

Sloth: 80%

Gluttony: 40%

Greed: 40%

Pride: 40%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 69%

You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.

How Sinful Are You?

You Will Die at Age 67

67 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

You Have Good Karma

In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others. Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark spots.

How's Your Karma?

You Are 60% Extrovert, 40% Introvert

You are quite outgoing You are a social connector - you know a ton of people While you aren't a wild extrovert, you are a great talker A fantastic storyteller, you keep everyone laughing

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

You Are Best Described By...

The Scream By Edvard Munch

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy

You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations. Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories. It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you. You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

This Love by Maroon 5

"I was so high I did not recognize The fire burning in her eyes The chaos that controlled my mind" You were so great in 2004 that you make everyone a little bit sick!

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

You Are a Husky Puppy

Sweet, affectionate, and docile. But when you see a cat or chicken, it's kill kill kill!!!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

This Is What You Get When Conservatives Are In Power!

I realize that I'm a little late to cover this (I don't keep up with current events as well as I used to), but I'm so angry about it I'm going to do it anyway. For those who haven't heard, the ultra conservative U.S. Supreme Court has once again decided to erode the principals that this nation was founded on. The Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that local governments may seize people's homes and businesses... even against their will... for private economic development.

Just to make sure you're absolutely clear on this... cities, counties, states and other governments can now literally seize a person's home via eminent domain and give it to someone else for virtually any reason (or no reason at all for that matter)!

Before this unconstitutional decision, an elderly couple that purchased a house for $60,000 in 1940 couldn't be driven out of their home by property taxes just because it is now worth $500,000. Under the Supreme Court's Kelo v. New London decision, local government could now simply seize the house and sell/give it to a developer who in turn sells it to someone else at a tidy profit. Since the house was sold, taxes would then be reassessed based on the $500,000 current value and the city/county/state suddenly would see a big increase in tax revenue. Never mind the fact that the house used to be the legal and private property of someone else! The developers get a profit, the government gets more taxes and the original property owner gets screwed.

It used to be a given that governments could only use eminent domain if the seized property was going to directly be used for the public good, such as for building a new highway. The idea behind this is to give the government a chance to forcibly evict people from their home in extreme cases where the land is desperately needed for a project that will have tremendous public benefit and where the homeowner does not want to sell or cooperate with the project. This court decision just threw that idea out the window and onto the manure pile. Now, something as trivial as increased tax revenue could be used to invoke eminent domain. All a developer needs to do now is bribe his favorite politician and *POOF*, the land that they want is seized and handed over to them.

The Dark Path

I'm completely obsessed with the dark side! Though this concept is taken from a fictional movie, it does mirror real life.

The natural order of anything encompasses some kind of balance. Day and night, life and death, light and dark ... each pair represents a different kind of balance. As part of the natural order, the Force in Star Wars follows the same rules. The light embodies peace, knowledge, and serenity. The dark side encompasses fear, anger, and aggression. Both sides exist simultaneously, but not always in balance. Sometimes the light side has predominance; at other times the dark side dominates. When the balance tips too far in either direction, conflict usually results. And in conflict, the dark side flourishes.

I have identified three basic stages that one experiences when stepping onto the dark path... Temptation, imperilment, and submission. One traveling down the dark path will eventually go through at least one stage of corruption on the journey to the dark side. It is the power-hungry, hate-filled, ambitious, tragic, or evil ones who experience two or all three of these stages of corruption.

Temptation
For example, in Star Wars the Force offers unimaginable powers to those who can feel its connection to the universe around them and manipulate its subtle lines of energy. Those who are sensitive to the Force live in a larger, more vibrant world than those who can't perceive the omnipresent energy field. One who feels the Force sees and experiences the universe from a different and larger perspective than others. Because of this bond, the Force-user has the ability to gain incredible powers using the Force. If they prefer to act instead of waiting... to give in to fear and anger... to proceed from an aggressive posture instead of a passive one... then they have taken the first step on their path to power of the dark side.

Imperilment
In most cases at this point one has already accepted the dark side as being powerful. These are the ones who constantly weigh the moral consequences, who obsess about doing the right thing no matter what the personal cost may be. To them, the dark side presents another weapon in their arsenal against evil, regardless of the fact that each use pushes them closer and closer to the very evil they hope to oppose. Oddly enough, I would say that I quite possibly reside in this stage of the dark side.

Submission
When one gives himself over to the dark side. There are no more restrictions, no more dangers to worry about. It is liberating and exhilarating to give one's self fully to the dark side. Once you accept the dark path, there is no longer any need to justify actions. Now power becomes the goal, and through the use of the dark side all obstacles can be pushed aside. Forget past attachments and former codes of conduct. A dark sider should consider himself a law unto himself. A new, dark life begins when one submits fully to the darkness inside themselves.

"Fear attracts the fearful... the strong... the weak... the innocent... the corrupt. Fear is my Ally."

Beverlee the Great!

I'm suprised I was able to get this picture... Beverlee never lets me take any pictures of her! I don't know why though... she's so incredibly beautiful! I was only able to get this picture because it was way late (actually early, 4am I think) after her party and she didn't care... I guess alcohol had some influence on her tolerance of the camera phone too! Beverlee is so wonderful... I don't know what I would do without her. She's literally always taking care of me... I'm so lucky to have her in my life!

Workout Checklist

Getting ready for the daily workout. Today is a free day. I think I'll do some arms and chest today. Let's see, got the Ozarka water (featuring characters from Shrek 2), towel, gloves (I hate callused hands), and the Rio Cali mp3 player.

Some people like to listen to dance music or something sporty while working out. That stuff works for me too, but I also like a bit of John Williams... Duel of the Fates is the best! Reminds me of Darth Maul.

"At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi; at last we will have revenge!"

Powerhouse Triumvirate

Nicholas, Robert, and Lance are by far three of my most trusted employees! They are absolutely amazing. I can always count on these three to accomplish any task and to do it astonishingly! I am truly lucky to have them... it's spectacular to have all three of them here together!

Busy Day at Work

As you can easily see, we were extremely busy at work today! Josh, Beverlee, and Matt are fantastic role models for all our employees as they demonstrate how to stay productive during slow times at work! This is exactly why I pay them the big bucks.

How Ghetto!

How ghetto is this?! Someone tagged the paper towel dispenser in the restroom at work. I guess the toilets are probably next! Gives a whole new meaning to marking your territory in the restroom!

Watching The Movie At Home Now!

Today has simply been wonderful!!! I've been at home watching a pristine copy of a certain movie over and over again! Let's just say that this movie has not yet made it to DVD (in sense that it is available for resale), and one might even say that the movie has a dark side to it!

I'm extremely impressed with its quality! The picture is very clear and the sound is superb (just ProLogic 2, no surround sound)! It's nearly DVD quality! There are even menus on the DVD (scene selection, extras, etc...) Either someone spent a great deal of time on this DVD, or perhaps it is a prototype copy of the actual DVD to be released in several months. Whatever the origin, it is a fantastic copy!

Back in Black!

Josh is back from his vacation! He's my right hand (strictly in a non-sexual manner)! Everything is as it should be at work now.

"This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi, it will soon see the end of the Rebellion!"

Big Daddy Joe

This is Joe... he's stuck at work here with me on his first Father's Day... his son Ryan was born on February 13 of this year. That's the same day I got the flu, bronchitis, and pneumonia. Anyway, happy Father's Day to you Joe!

Hebrew Hammer Back In Action!

It's so great to have Alex back in my store!

Lucy

This is Troy's sweet little Lucy. I simply love her to death because she's just so sweet and affectionate (or needy as Troy would put it.)

FUBAR Tire #2

There's a strange bulge on my front left tire... it'll probably end up exploding like my rear right one a few months ago. I wish I still had that picture of that last tire... it looked horrible! It was completely destroyed!

The Dark Side

The dark side of the Force is innately tied to the distinctly negative ethical paradigm of the Sith. It is largely based on emotions and passion rather than peace and serenity which are preached by the light side of the force. The dark side of the Force comes from the hate, vengeance, and malice in all living things.

The Jedi believe that emotions such as fear, uncertainty, doubt, anger, suffering, and attachment are "inevitably" self-destructive, and lead to the dark side. The Sith philosophy, on the other hand, is to use such emotions to fuel one's own will to power, ego, and selfishness. The inevitably destructive havoc caused by the actions of a dark side practitioner are conveniently forgotten or excused as serving a greater purpose under this philosophy... they believe that instead of living along side the Force, one must master it and use it as a tool.

The negative emotions increase the strength and abilities of a dark side practitioner. As a result, the dark side of the force is extremely addictive: every time one calls on its power, one becomes more and more attached to it. The dark side is not only mentally corruptive, but also physically corruptive: over time, the raw power wastes away the body of a dark side adept.

Overall, dark side relationships and organizations are inherently unstable... the pupil-master relationship of the Jedi is perverted under the Sith, as both the apprentice and the master naturally plot against one other, and one will eventually kill the other. Every time a dark side force has risen in the Star Wars galaxy, it has collapsed from within due to its own unstable nature.

All my life I have always chosen the path of virtue, but will there come a time when I choose the quick and easy path... follow the path of my own dark side? Could doing that consume my life? Would it in essence kill the person I am now? Will I always have the strength to do what is right?

I have the opportunity to have someone greatly discredited or even fired. This person has been nothing but vile and maliciously vicious to people I care about. I can't even begin to express the amount of pain he has caused people. I have a choice... I can sit around and wait (hope) that everything will work its way out and that he'll eventually be so destructive on his own that he'll get himself fired... or I can use what power I have to make him look incompetent and perhaps even have him fired for all of the rules and regulations that he blatantly breaks on a daily basis. Doing the latter would most likely require me to walk down a dark path to achieve a decisive victory.

If I could end someone's evil reign of terror on those I care about, wouldn't that be the right thing to do? What if the only way to stop this person was to sink to their same level, would it still be the right thing to do? Would I be doing it for justice or revenge? Would I be basing my decisions off of peace and serenity, or emotions and passion? Could I ever be driven by hate, vengeance, or malice?

Mark It Zero!

So today, Jimmie Dale Gilmore comes into my store looking at digital cameras. I almost walked up behind him and said, "MARK IT ZERO!" When I realized it was really him, I was so glad I didn't do that... I would have probably appeared to be a big jack-ass! Jimmie Dale Gilmore plays Smokey on one of my most favorite movies, The Big Lebowski. Smokey is the 'pacifist' bowler whom John Goodman's Walter threatens to shoot for allegedly stepping 'over the line' when throwing a strike. The inside joke, of course, is that, as a practicing Taoist, Gilmore is himself a pacifist.

Jimmie Dale Gilmore's scene in The Big Lebowski:

Smokey turns from his last roll to look at Walter.

WALTER: Smokey Huh? Over the line, Smokey! I'm sorry. That's a foul.

SMOKEY: Bullshit. Eight, Dude.

WALTER: Excuse me! Mark it zero. Next frame.

SMOKEY: Bullshit. Walter!

WALTER: This is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

DUDE: Come on Walter, it's just--it's Smokey. So his toe slipped over a little, it's just a game.

WALTER: This is a league game. This determines who enters the next round-robin, am I wrong?

SMOKEY: Yeah, but--

WALTER: Am I wrong!?

SMOKEY: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker, Dude, I'm marking it an eight.

Walter takes out a gun.

WALTER: Smokey my friend, you're entering a world of pain.

DUDE: Hey Walter--

WALTER: Mark that frame an eight, you're entering a world of pain.

SMOKEY: I'm not--

WALTER: A world of pain.

A manager in a bowling-shirt style uniform is running for a phone.

SMOKEY: Look Dude, I don't hold with this. This guy is your partner, you should--

Walter primes the gun and points it at Smokey's head.

WALTER: HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO!

The Pomeranian is excitedly yapping at Walter's elbow, making high body-twisting tail-wagging leaps.

DUDE: Walter, they're calling the cops, put the piece away.

WALTER: MARK IT ZERO!

SMOKEY: Walter--

WALTER: YOU THINK I'M FUCKING AROUND HERE? MARK IT ZERO!!

SMOKEY: All right! There it is! It's fucking zero!

He points frantically at the score projected above the lane.

SMOKEY: You happy, you crazy fuck?

WALTER: This is a league game, Smokey!

New Order - True Faith

I feel so extraordinary
Something’s got a hold on me
I get this feeling I’m in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don’t care ’cause I’m not there
And I don’t care if I’m here tomorrow
Again and again I’ve taken too much
Of the things that cost you too much

[Chorus:]
I used to think that the day would never come
I’d see delight in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun...

When I was a very small boy,
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we’ve grown up together
They’re afraid of what they see
That’s the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can’t tell you where we’re going

[Chorus]

I feel so extraordinary
Something’s got a hold on me
I get this feeling I’m in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we’ve gone too far
You took my time and you took my money
Now I fear you’ve left me standing
In a world that’s so demanding

[Chorus]

The Ban Is Lifted

So it appears that the ban on ephedra has been lifted. I'm not really into taking drugs or anything, but I am glad it is once again available to the public... not because I think it's great drug or supplement (I don't have any opinion on it actually), but rather I'm opposed to the government dictating what people can and can't have... what people can and can't do.

Yes, I do have an oppositional defiant issue. I don't like being told what to do, especially by the government. I can't stand laws that are in place to protect me from myself. If I want to be irresponsible and hurt myself, I should have the right to do that (as long as no one else is affected adversely).

Funny story... one of my friends is an active substance supplier (ok, drug dealer) as a secondary source of income. Just for the record, I personally don't take any illegal drugs or ever have, but I don't judge him for what he does on the side. Anyway, he is without doubt the worst drug dealer ever! Anytime someone calls him for some stuff, he's never available and always forgets to return the call or check his voicemail! How do you make money if you're never available to sell your product?

Back Again!

My hiatus from work ended today at 12:00pm. Though I initially wasn't looking forward to returning, it was a marvelous day. Nothing particularly great happened... there wasn't any defining event that made my day. I simply feel like my old self once again... back to normal (well, normal for me... still weird to most people). I feel like I'm once again that person everyone has grown to know over the last several years... my peppy, energetic, eccentric self. I feel absolutely wonderful!

I didn't realize how miserable I really was for the last few months until today. I always try to tell myself, when I'm down, that the bad days will make the great ones better. It's so true! I greatly appreciate any pain I've had to endure.

It's just great to feel comfortable in my own skin once again!

Looking Back On The 79th Texas Legislature

140 - Number of days served by the Texas Legislature each session. The lack of days of work probably has a lot to do with the lack of high pay and benefits that members of the House and Senate here in Texas receive. That however did not stop House member from going ahead and approving a bill that increased the benefits of legislators after 12 years(or 1,680 work days)

Funniest Quote - "We have a rule in this House where we don't care what Oklahoma does." -Rep. Trey Martinez-Fischer(D- San Antonio)

Worst Bill - Although the $139 billion budget wasn't too hot, there has to be a tie between the "suggestive cheerleading bill" and the "cheeseburger" bill. Rep. Al Edwards(D-Houston) introduced the former with the claim that suggestive cheerleading was partly responsible for the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and drop-out rates. Edwards' bill died in the Senate. The cheeseburger bill came from the mind of Sen. John Carona(R-Dallas) which bars citizens from suing restaurants as the cause of their obesity. No such lawsuit has ever been filed in Texas.

Smear the Queer - Various bills and amendments are introduced, directed at gays and lesbians to determine what their rights are. Robert Talton of Pasadena says that God told him to create the amendment which would have barred gays from becoming foster parents. The amendment, originally part of the CPS reform bill, is later removed much to the chagrin of Talton.Later on, a constitutional amednment banning gay marriage survived both House and Senate and will be up for vote this November.

Highway To Hell - The Texas Legislature passes a bill which allows rural counties in Central and West Texas to raise their speed limits to 80 mph. Now citizens travelling to El Paso can get the hell out of Craddick country just a little quicker.

What Would Jesus Do? - Festival, fair, and concert attendees will now be able to buy alcohol beginning at 10am on Sundays instead of noon.

Happy Trails - The chuck wagon was made the state's official vehicle. Think of it as the Ford F-150 of the past.

Flip Flop - Sen Ellis of Houston announces he has the support of 12 Democratic senators(himself included), enough needed to block the constitutional ban on gay marriage proposal. Citing their constituents, Sen Madla(D-San Antonio) and Sen. Eddie Lucio(D- Brownsville) have a change of heart. Madla does have an election in '06 ya know.

Looking Forward - HB 2907 by Rep. Warren Chisum(R-Pampa) would have outlawed all abortions in Texas, save for life-threatening cases for the mother, in the event that Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court. It did not pass committee.

Parental Consent - Parents must not only be notified but must give their consent to the physician if their daughter is getting an abortion. Governor Perry signed the bill at a Fort Worth church.

That's Rough - Republican proposal to lower property taxes would have raised sales taxes to cover funds needed. Those sales taxes, had the bill been approved, would have made Texas sales taxes the highest in the nation; as if they're not high enough already(8.25%).

In Limbo - Bill and reform pushed for but not passed: property tax relief, school finance reform, teacher pay raise

New Nightclub... in Pflugerville!?

So I'm on my way to the gym a few hours ago. I go down Grand Avenue Pkwy in Pflugerville because there's typically very little traffic on this road... so I use it to go pretty much everywhere. Anyway, tonight I was horrified to see that the road backed up for miles! Cars were parked all over the place... to tell you the truth, I haven't seen that many park cars since I was at Disney World. Apparently a new club grand opened tonight... Graham Central Station.

What I find amusing is the fact that there's a club in Pflugerville. I guess you'd have to live in Pflguerville to understand the irony with this. Pflugerville is an ultra-conservative town... and I do say 'town.' There are what, 15000 people approximately living here. This town is about 97% residential. There aren't even many businesses here... they're all in Austin or Round Rock. So for a club to open here is pretty radical!

It appears that this Graham Central Station is actually six clubs in one, so there's only one cover charge. The clubs consist of: Denim & Diamonds Country Dance Nightclub (Favorite Country Dance and Live Music), Alley Cats (Karoke show bar), Choppers (70s, 80s, 90s, and some fun Party Rock), Wildcats (Wild girls dancing on the bar and slinging liquor), Live Room (Featuring local Austin bands, and providing them a place to be seen and heard), & Club Z (Top 40 dance club.) I guess I'm going to have to check it out sometime!

Phil Collins - I Wish It Would Rain Down

You know I never meant to see you again
and I only passed by as a friend
All this time I stayed out of sight
I started wondering why

[Chorus:]
Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now

You said you didn't need me in your life
I guess you were right
Well I never meant to cause you no pain
But it looks like I did it again

[Chorus]

Though your hurt is gone, mines hanging on, inside
And I know it's eating me through every night and day
I'm just waiting on your sign

'Cos I know, I know I never meant to cause you no pain
And I realize I let you down
But I know in my heart of heart of hearts
I know I'm never gonna hold you again

[Chorus]

Watching Some Classic Comedies...

In a neverending personal tradition, I watch The Three Amigos at least twice every year or when I'm bored out of my mind... like today. I know the script quite well, so there are few surprises. But every once and a while, there is a joke or innuendo in there that I had missed before and suddenly it all makes sense to me. This humor that is revealed to me in layers is the result of, dare I say, consistant study and attention to minute details. This movie is truly one where you find more and more to enjoy the more effort you put into it. When I watch it and something clicks where before I hadn’t noticed anything before, it makes me appreciate the movie that much more. I suppose you could say that I am a master at discerning the slapstick comedy of this movie.

"In a way, all of us have an El Guapo to face someday. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us... El Guapo is a big dangerous guy who wants to kills us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day... the people of Santa Poco... can conquer their own personal El Guapo... who also happens to be the actual El Guapo."

Too Much Free Time

I'm at home watching Army of Darkness... great movie... I love Bruce Campbell (especially in Brisco County, Jr.), he's such a great actor. Anyway, the movie refers to a mythical book call the Necronomicon. It is supposedly an ancient Sumerian text, bound in human flesh and inked in human blood. It contains bizarre burial rites, prophesies, and instruction for demon resurrection.

Interested in what truth there may be to such a book, I go to the internet to look it up! What fun! I found some sites which only prove to me that some people have WAY too much free time on their hands! It's amazing how creative (or demented) people can be on the most bizarre things! Check out this site called Necronomican Content/Spells, and tell me that this person isn't truly weird... (who am I to talk?!) LOL! :-P

Time Is Not On My Side

It’s amazing… time that is. Without any regard to what’s happening, it keeps ticking. It’s so cold and unforgiving. I’ve been sitting here for last several minutes, watching the clock.

How many more minutes will my heart endure the loneliness it’s always felt? I feel lucky to be mortal… I only have a finite number of minutes that my tormented soul must continue to survive.

When it’s finally over, then what? Oblivion would be a peace I’ve never know. Hell would simply be a vacation compared to what my tortured heart and soul have sustained in life.

I’ve never really meant much to anyone, nor will I ever it seems. Always the friend… this is the role that life has given me. I must have played it so well early on in life that I’ve been type-cast to continue playing it until my dying hour. So be it. Perhaps I'm simply unfit to be anything more. Maybe there's something so terribly wrong with me that I'll never even deserve an opportunity or a chance to be anything more than a "good time" or a friend. It's been this way with so many people, the problem must be with me. Well, whatever the reason, the fact remains that I'm alone, I've always been alone, and probably always will be alone. I guess I'm destined to just having physical relationships or just being the friend... nothing more. The only positive of this is that I know never to expect anything more... this way, I'm never really let down or disappointed.

What I find most disturbing is the fact that I’ve grown accustom to feeling this way deep down. I don’t show it (I try not to show it)... why should others share my misery? I try to bury it, to forget about it. Most of the time I can… it’s just hard to do when everything is so quiet, and I sit here all alone just thinking.

So I will go to bed now, tears and all… when I wake in the morning, I’ll start a brand new day and try to make the best of it. I’ll put on my smile, try to make some people smile and laugh, maybe even try to do something productive while on vacation… hopefully I’ll be reflecting on a great day this time tomorrow. My finest day is yet unknown… I just wish I didn’t end this one feeling so depressed and alone.

Beatles - In My Life

There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

Ode on a Grecian Urn

Thou still unravish'd bride of quietness,
Thou foster-child of silence and slow time,
Sylvan historian, who canst thus express
A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What leaf-fring'd legend haunts about thy shape
Of deities or mortals, or of both,
In Tempe or the dales of Arcady?
What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy?

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold Lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!

Ah, happy, happy boughs! that cannot shed
Your leaves, nor ever bid the Spring adieu;
And, happy melodist, unwearied,
For ever piping songs for ever new;
More happy love! more happy, happy love!
For ever warm and still to be enjoy'd,
For ever panting, and for ever young;
All breathing human passion far above,
That leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloy'd,
A burning forehead, and a parching tongue.

Who are these coming to the sacrifice?
To what green altar, O mysterious priest,
Lead'st thou that heifer lowing at the skies,
And all her silken flanks with garlands drest?
What little town by river or sea shore,
Or mountain-built with peaceful citadel,
Is emptied of this folk, this pious morn?
And, little town, thy streets for evermore
Will silent be; and not a soul to tell
Why thou art desolate, can e'er return.

O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with brede
Of marble men and maidens overwrought,
With forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral!
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,--that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."
-John Keats

I've always enjoyed this poem because I can relate to it... it conveys what I've always felt, always known. It is an accurate portrayal of what my reality has become. It's about a relic of ancient Greek civilization, an urn painted with two scenes from Greek life. The first scene, the one that I'm concerned with, depicts lovers in a setting of rustic beauty. The picture, at first glance, represents the timeless perfection only art can capture. The lovers so close to each other; it seems perfect. The urn's characters are frozen in time, so it appears that they will always be together. Unfortunately, because art will never change, the lovers will always love one another, nut they will never reach other. While they will always be so close, they will never truly embrace one another... they will never be together. They will remain alone for eternity, so close to being with the one they love. This is sadly the way of things.

All you can do is bury these feelings so deep inside and hope that they will eventually die and give you some kind of peace... however, each time you do this, you lose a little bit of yourself. A special, innocent part of you dies along with the suppressed emotions.