Fabulous

I can’t say that the last 24 hours have been eventful, but rather interesting…

After I got off of work for the day yesterday evening, I came home to get something eat (because I’m always freaking hungry) and change. I headed back to work to paint a new kiosk that we made for the front of the store (long boring story on why we have the new kiosk, so I won’t go into that.)

Sean and I went to Home Depot to purchase some spray paint for this little project, red and yellow. I figured that I could easily do some spray painting without fucking up my clothes… I was wrong (All I hear is now Obi-Wan’s voice echoing in my mind… “I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.”)

I got paint all over my new Monster Squad shirt, on my favorite pair of jeans, and on my shoes. My grandfather helped me get the paint off my shirt and almost completely off my jeans (using WD40)… despite our best efforts, the shoes could not be saved. I guess that’s fine… I now have a reason to get some new ones that I’ve been wanting for awhile now. Only problem is that they aren’t offered anywhere in the US, so I have to order them online. I’m always weary of ordering any kind of clothing online simply because I can’t try anything on.

Anyway, everything still smells like WD40… that is until this morning!!! I went back to work briefly to finish up with the kiosk (looks fantastic btw)… then I came home to take a quick shower before going out to get some groceries. I was in a huge hurry for no apparent reason. I didn’t dry myself off very well, and I went to use my hairdryer… I have never received an electrical shock like the one I got this morning!!!

I can’t even really describe the way it felt. The most I can say is that it really hurt and I could swear it stopped my heart for like five seconds. For the next hour or so, all I could smell was burnt hair… though I can’t find any burnt hair, so it may be burnt flesh or something. I guess I should feel lucky that the shock didn’t ignite the fumes of the WD40… but I’m actually just happier that I don’t smell that WD40 crap anymore. It was starting to give me a headache!

WTF Is Wrong With Me?

I honestly don't know how many times I've seen this over the last year, but I every time I watch it, I can't help but laugh my ass off! What's more is the fact that it isn't even really that funny. It is so ridiculously slap-stick, it should just be plain insulting to watch.

Brian & Stewie Stoned

How is it that drug induced states of consciousness can bring such clarity to just about anything? (Note: This is simply a rhetorical question… obviously any kind of drug induced state will have some sort of effect on the way the mind functions!)

Anytime when I take medication (not a pain killer, rather a triptan that activates serotonin receptors) to alleviate a terrible migraine, I usually have an incredibly heightened state of awareness for several hours. It’s like being awaken into a new state of existence that is always truly there hiding in the shroud of reality.

Anyway, here's a funny little clip of such a phenomenon demonstrated by Stewie!

Superhero Quiz

Your results:
You are Superman
You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Superman ................. 100%
The Flash ................. 90%
Green Lantern ............. 75%
Supergirl ................. 75%
Iron Man .................. 70%
Robin ..................... 65%
Spider-Man ................ 65%
Wonder Woman .............. 60%
Hulk ...................... 60%
Batman .................... 50%
Catwoman .................. 35%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Batman: Dead End

I've seen my share of "fan films." For the execption of special effects, most are pretty awesome films (hell, many even have great effects at that!) A great place to find these fan films is at TheForce.net. There are tons of them there!!!

Here's a badass Batman fan film I've come across. Very interesting. It's only about 8 minutes long, so if you have the time I highly recommend that you give it a quick view. Quick bit about the fan film: Batman faces an old nemesis and the greatest challenge of his life.

XM Adds To Their Line-Up

Starting on Monday, April 17, XM Satellite Radio will add 8 more commercial-free music channels. The new channels include:

• U.S. Country - XM 17 - Country Superstars of the 80s and 90s
• Flight 26 - XM 26 - Modern Hits 90s & Now
• XM Hitlist - XM 30 - Today's Hit Music
• enLighten - XM 34 - Southern Gospel
• XM Liquid Metal - XM 42 - Heavy Metal XL
• Big Tracks - XM 49 - Later Classic Rock
• The Heat - XM 68 - Rhythmic Hits
• Escape - XM 78 - Easy Listening
• XM Chill - XM 84 - Chill Music
• Viva - XM 91 - Latin Pop Hits

I know I certainly won't be listening to channels 17 (I know I live in Texas, but I can't stand country music) or 34 (same goes for this one too... I'm just a southerner who really doesn't like gospel music), but the rest sound pretty cool.

Best Two Minutes Of Episode One

What makes this clip so great is the fact that it cuts out all the crap from The Phantom Menace and just leaves the best parts! So... for those few people in the world who haven't seen the movie, you're great in luck! This is all you really need to see!

Car Ride

Unusual Fact About Me

I consume on average 5 gallons of milk every seven days. That’s approximately ¾ of a gallon daily. This is about 15% of my total grocery bill. Of the 4500 calories that I intake on a daily basis, about 1200 of it is from milk (over 25%.)

I frequently tell people that I don’t know how I would live if I ever became lactose intolerant. Most of the time I get a snide little chuckle in return… but I think that’s because people just don’t realize how much milk I really do consume. It’s a ridiculous amount!

My mom and my sister Kristy were making fun of me the other day when I stopped by to visit after being at the gym, and I drank nearly ½ a gallon of milk in less than a 2 hour span of time. Hell, I can’t help it! That’s what my body wants!

I recently found that it’s recommend that people drink 250ml (.06 gallons) of milk each day. I drink 1250% of that recommended value!

Return Of The Jedi

Although I didn’t have time to really get out and do as much as I normally do while in Las Vegas, it was still nonetheless a great trip. I really didn’t want to go because I had a lot of stuff to sort out in my life, but it turns out I found a lot of that time there. A brief change in venue helped so much more than I realized it would. Rather than answer all of the comments from the previous post as I usually do, I give you this new post that will give you a more accurate view on my current state of mind. (Btw: I really appreciate all of the support that many of you give!!!)

So I arrive in Vegas on Sunday afternoon. I wasn’t feeling great as I felt I was leaving too many unresolved issues behind at home and was thinking this trip was going to make matters worse. To make things more interesting, I knew that I would be spending most of my time with the few people in existence that I just don’t get along with well at all. Overall, the forecast of the trip looked extremely gloomy from the start!

That night we had a nice reception and dinner for several hours, giving me a chance to see people (old friends) I haven’t seen in ages!!! Among a few of them was Todd who’s a district manager in Dallas, TX now (ok, I just saw him a few weeks ago, but it was very limited in time, so we didn’t get a chance to catch up), Kevin who’s a store director in Irving, TX (one of the best store directors I’ve ever worked for), and Doug who is a region vice president now on the west coast (he was by far the very best district manager I’ve ever worked for.) The only person who could have topped these wonderful people who I respect above all others would be Charles (the best store director I’ve ever worked for and possibly one of the best people in the world!)

Anyway, spending time with these old friends (who always have a special place in my heart) really brought back some great memories. More than that though, they really helped me… more than they realize. I didn’t talk to them at all about how miserable I’ve been, but without knowing how depressed and lost I felt, they really helped me!

Some of them would refer to me or introduce me to others as “the guy who can do anything,” or “the guy who makes doing the impossible look easy,” etc… the ridiculous nicknames go on. This really just floored me!!! This person they were describing (me)… I didn’t recognize this person. That’s not who I am right now. I don’t know if I was really ever that person, but I’m clearly not that person now.

To continue this avalanche bewilderment, some of them even continue to tell others how I inspired them by many of the business and personal adversities that I had overcome and conquered. These people who are so very special to me, who I look up to, who I admire… they’re “inspired” by me??? They’re inspired by how I have and live (or really had and lived) the mindset that anything is possible??? Who is this person??? Again, I’m completely flabbergasted at who they think I am, or even was. I’d really like to meet this person who they were claiming I am (was.)

That first night I really didn’t sleep. I walked the entire Las Vegas strip. For those who have been to Vegas, you know that the strip is really long… yet I walked the entire thing that night into the morning. There’s a lot to look at all down the strip, but I honestly don’t remember seeing anything that night/morning. I was too focused on trying to figure out why I changed so much over about a year’s time.

In the end, I decided that the circumstances at work and in my personal life that lead me down this dark path over last year aren’t the issue. The issue is why I allowed myself to change in the way I did due to these circumstances. Why did I empower these few adverse situations to have such a negative impact on my life? I don’t know. I used to have a powerful mindset that allowed me to overcome most the most difficult and unpleasant situations. It was my frame of mind that anything is possible… the only impossibilities were the ones that I would allow my mind to create.

Seeing all of this in retrospect with the help of a few friends (who have absolutely no idea how much they helped me), I see the path I need to return to. I need to refocus my mind back to that old mindset I used to have. I know it’ll take some time… after all, it didn’t change overnight to what it is now. I journeyed down this dark path over the course of a year. So I’m completely aware that I have quite a ways to go before I can return to my old way of thinking that anything is possible.

“The undisturbed mind is like the calm body water reflecting the brilliance of the moon.
Empty the mind and you will realize the undisturbed mind.” – some Tibetan quote. (Don’t know who said it! Hehe!)

This trip truly gave me the opportunity to clear my mind in a way that would have been too difficult to do at home. It gave me the time I needed to truly and honestly self reflect on who I am, who I was, and who I want to me. I don’t want to be who I am now… this person depresses me. I don’t necessarily want to be who I used to be, as obviously that person, as open as their mind was, still fell down a dark path. I want to be a person with the mindset I used to have, but with the knowledge that I currently have… the knowledge learned from failure… the power learned from failure. I want to be this person who others believe I am.

I know it’s going to be a rocky and difficult journey to get there, but I’m willing to go there. The first thing I need to change to get there is the fact that I am alone. I do everything alone. I succeed and I fall alone. I don’t want to go on this journey alone. I need to learn to ask for help. I need to allow myself to be at least somewhat more dependent on others. I need to be willing to accept help, not just give it. I need to allow the people who are close to me to truly be a driving influence in my life. This too is something I know won’t happen over night, but I’m willing to take the journey there as well.

Enough about that!!! I’m sure I’ve already bored you to tears with my greatly needed self reflection. Now for some frequently asked questions and answers about the trip…

1. Was this “business trip” really about business in Las Vegas, or was it just an excuse to party all the time?

Work started at 7am each day and continued thru 7 or 8pm each evening. It was really tedious work and grueling meetings… but they were productive. After work was done each night, then we could do whatever we wanted to.

I had the clear advantage of the group. I already was only getting like 2-3 hours of sleep a night, so I handled the lack of sleep MUCH better than everyone else. As exhausted as I still was, I was much more coherent all day each day. (Turns out the several weeks of virtually no sleep came in quite handy!)

2. Did you gamble?

I did, but very little. I only gambled about $40, of which all I lost! I’m not really a big fan of losing money for no good reason. I watched Todd loose $500+ dollars in a matter of 5 minutes. I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that!!!

Now that being said, I don’t have a problem wasting money. I bought a bathrobe and a nice new shirt (that were clearly over priced, but still looked great!) I also had the opportunity to get a few little trinkets for several of you guys!

3. Do you do anything scandalous in Las Vegas?

Here’s a very brief (and overused answer): What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!!!

4. Did you get along with some of those few people who you never get along with?

Surprisingly, yes. We actually all kind of bonded in a very odd and dysfunctional way. Though I didn’t spend a lot of my free time with these few people, I think we all came to a mutual understanding and respect for each other.

A New Game

I got this new game off of Edward's LiveJournal (partially because I accidentally neglected to read #8 before beginning the game!)

1. reply with your name and i'll respond with some random things about you.
2. i'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. i'll pick a flavour of jelly to wrestle with you in.
4. i'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. i'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. if i do this for you, you must post this on your journal. you must. it is written.

Note: Keep in mind that my punk ass job has really been limiting my free time lately, so I'll respond as soon as I can.

The Touch

This video absolutely cracks me up!!! I remember, very vividly, my mom taking me to see this movie back in 1986. I can’t even begin to describe how upset I was when they killed off Optimus Prime (and at the beginning of the movie at that!) Hell, I’ve had this movie on DVD for several years now, and anytime I watch it, I still get all teary-eyed! Anyway, I hope you have as good a laugh as I do with this whacked-out, hilarious music video!

Brokeback To The Future

New He-Man DVD's

I’m currently lounging at home watching the new copy of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: Season 1, Volume 2 box set I purchased earlier today. What’s so great about this classic cartoon is how amusing I still find it after 20 years!

For example, in the episode I just finished watching, The Dragon’s Gift, Prince Adam and Cringer run to an empty spot in the castle to transform out of everyone’s sight… however Cringer keeps running and hides around a corner where Adam can’t see him because he hates to be transformed into BattleCat. Just as Adam turns into He-Man, he points his sword toward the wall where Cringer ran to, the power emitted from the sword ricochets off the wall and turns the corner where Cringer is hiding, transforming him into BattleCat.

After I saw that, I just erupted into uncontrollable laughter… giggling like a small child for at least a solid 5 minutes straight. Hell, I’m still laughing about it!

Stupidity Alert Level

One of my customer service associates, Matt, developed this "Stupidity Alert Level" system for the customer service counter (posted daily for the protection of customer service associates in the general office next to the customer service counter.) It's kind of a modified Department of Homeland Security Alert Levels... but for customer service associates. The levels vary from 1 (lowest level) to 7 (most severe level) based upon the incompetence of customers who like to create absurd issues just for the hell of it.

Level 1 - Inability to understand rebates.
Level 2 - Overwhelming sense of entitlement.
Level 3 - Average I.Q. < 100.
Level 4 - Difficulty tying shoes.
Level 5 - Not able to feed themselves.
Level 6 - Forgets to breathe often.
Level 7 - Drooling, babbling, bed-wetting morons.

Most Sundays usually run at a level 5, but we're currently holding strong at a level 4. Mondays are always the worst days though (as those who have ever worked at a customer service desk know.) Tuesdays, after a three day weekend, are always a level 7 for some odd reason. Never understood that one!

Now Discover Your Strengths

Now that things are finally stabilizing at work, I decided to read that book (Now Discover Your Strengths) a bit more in depth… and because I was bored. I found it absolutely amazing how accurate the test results really were upon reading more thorough descriptions of each theme.

Strategic
The strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, “What if this happened? Ok, well what if this happened?” This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard paths that lead nowhere, straight into resistance, into a fog, or into confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path – your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: “What if?” Select. Strike!

Achiever
Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day – workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving when you’re feeling down.

Restorative
You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and find the solution. You may prefer practical problems or conceptual ones or personal ones. You may seek out specific kinds of problems that you have met many times before and that you are confident you can fix. Or you may feel the greatest push when faced with complex and unfamiliar problems. Your exact preferences are determined by your other themes and experiences. But what is certain is that you enjoy brining things back to life, and you are very good at doing it. It is a wonderful feeling to identify the undermining factors, eradicate them, and restore something to its true glory. Intuitively, you know that without your intervention, this thing – this machine, this technique, this person, this company – might have ceased to function. You fixed it, resuscitated it, rekindled its vitality. You saved it!

Relator
Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simply terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people – in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends – but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from simply being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk – you are probably taken advantage of quite frequently – yet you accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to that it is genuine is to entrust yourself to the other person and take risks together. The more risks you take together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine.

Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for way to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for signs of growth – a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or a flow where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments – invisible to some – are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you ut for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.

Going To Vegas

So my company is sending me to Las Vegas sometime later this month for several days to attend a rally for all store directors. I don’t know when though (perhaps I should find this out sometime soon as the month is nearly half over!) I hope they don’t truly think that I’m planning on working while there!

I was really trying to get out of work early today as I’ve been there for over a solid week without a single day off, working 12 – 15 hours a day… didn’t happen though (which consequently has extremely cut into my internet time at home… or actually all my home time for that matter!!!) I’ve really just been focused on developing the employees lately, which has been really fun. They’re all a really great bunch of people! I even got to promote two more managers today... that's always fun!

Back to the Vegas trip… apparently someone decided it would be a fantastic idea to list 5 strengths of each store director on their name badge for the rally in Las Vegas… so after I left work I had to go purchase this book (Now Discover Your Strengths) that all the store directors had to get and take a test online. I think it would have been cool to just use one of the countless of quizzes and such already on the net… but they felt the purchasing of this book would be better (they love spending money!) And to top it all off, there doesn't appear to be a Cliffs Notes or movie for this particular book!!! :-P

So after 30 minutes of taking this test (which was timed to extract a forced gut reaction to questions), here’s what this test says my top five strengths are (which will be engraved on my Vegas name badge nonetheless):

Strategic
People strong in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

Achiever
People strong in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.

Restorative
People strong in the Restorative theme are adept at dealing with problems. They are good at out what is wrong and resolving it.

Relator
People strong in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.

Developer
People strong in the Developer theme recognize and cultivate the potential in others. They spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.

4 Non Blondes - What's Up?

Twenty-five years I'm alive here still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar.

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?

And I say: HEY! yeah yeaaah, HEY yeah yea
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say: HEY! yeah yeaaah, HEY yeah yea
I said hey, what's going on?

And I try, oh my god do I try
I try all the time, in this institution

And I pray, oh my god do I pray
I pray all sanctity
For a revolution.

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

Twenty-five years I'm alive here still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
for a destination

Wow… this song is almost completely accurate to how my last week has been. I am completely drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. I honestly don’t know what I’m running on at the moment. I knew I was stepping in to a big mess with this new store, but I had no idea on the full extent of this war torn store. I swear, just as I get one major issue corrected, like 8 more pop out… it’s like a freaking super hydra from hell!

Each day I come home, all of my energy is completely spent. Caffeine has definitely become a primary source of fuel for me after work… all I need is a chemical dependency to add to this stairway to hell!

I keep hoping that I’ll be approaching the light at the end of the tunnel each day, but it just feels like I’m getting further and further away from it. All I can say is that this is really taking a harsh toll on me… I can feel a few years of my life being shaved off each day. I can’t even cry about the situation, even though I’d love to… I know that would make me feel a bit better, but I just can’t. I just have to endure it until I get everything in order. So be it!

Ok, that’s enough of that… I can’t stand to think of that crap anymore! Good news… all my new employees are great! I really do look forward to seeing them each day.

Superman Returns: The Videogame

Here is a quick little trailer on the new Superman videogame scheduled to be released in June. This game is gonna be absolutely awewome!!! I'm gonna have to get an XBox 360 now!


Click Here To Play
A brief game synopsis:

Witness Superman using his super powers to save Metropolis from Metallo, one of many classic super villains in Superman Returns: The Videogame. Inspired by the upcoming Warner Bros. Pictures feature film and more than 60 years of DC Comics lore, the game creates the first multi-dimensional open-world super hero experience.

As the Man of Steel, you hone your unworldly super powers such as Flight, X-Ray Vision, Heat Vision, Super Hearing, Super Strength, Super Speed, and Super Breath to fight villains only Superman can defeat. Revolutionary new flight mechanics that give you full command of your aerial maneuvers. Explore and protect the truly living city of Metropolis, which is not only expansive (with 80 sq miles and more than 9,000 buildings), but also changes dynamically based on how you play the game: citizens run away in terror from newly erupting danger and exit their cars to cheer and snap photos as you fly overhead. Experience what it’s like to be Superman like never before with Superman Returns: The Videogame.

All Good Things Must Come To An End

Today was my last day at the store, as I’ve been promoted to another. I feel that the day should have been bitter sweet… saying goodbye to so many people I care about and see everyday, but getting a new job where I reign supreme (not just de facto, but also de jure.) That’s just not how the day felt though… it was just bitter, not sweet at all... it was just plain sad… I really just wasn’t that excited at all.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the opportunity to do more on a much larger scale in another store… I’m just not certain that particular things and certain situations were where I wanted them to be for the people I’m leaving behind. There’s some unfinished business that I hope will be handled the right way, but I can’t be certain of that since I won’t be there… I’m no longer able to protect many of the people I really care about from a lot the of unfair circumstances that constantly arise. That’s probably what’s most unsettling about this whole situation.

Face Recognition Website

I found this really interesting website today, myheritage.com. Essentially, you upload a picture, and the site uses face recognition algorithms that match you up to celebrities that the program determines that you closely match based on your facial features. Now the site was originally designed for genealogy purposes, but has been updated to match people up to celebrities.

Because we had nothing better to do today at work (unless you consider jacking goofing off to be busy, in which case we were completely overloaded as usual), we played around with it and got some pretty funny results:

My matches:
Tom Cruise – 64%
Denise Richards – 58%
Eminem – 51%
River Phoenix – 48%

Josh’s matches:
Matt Dillon – 57%
Russell Crow – 53%
Quentin Tarantino – 51%
Tom Berenger – 49%

Carla’s matches:
Elizabeth Taylor – 72%
Salma Hayek – 72%
Beyonce Knowles – 71%
Heather Locklear – 70%
Lindsay Lohan – 70%

Sean’s matches:
Sean William Scott – 67%
Tommy Lee Jones – 65%
Joshua Jackson – 60%
Gwyneth Paltrow – 58%
Tom Green – 57%

More Fun Quizzes

I took this first one from The Barlow, and the other I found while taking that test. I'd say that both tests are pretty accurate for me.

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 4

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Physical Touch and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		12
Quality Time:		12
Acts of Service:		5
Words of Affirmation:		1
Receiving Gifts:		0

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Perpetual Aurora Of A Vacuous Consciousness

Just to demonstrate the power ridiculousness of a lackadaisical mind (now we find out who has an extensive creative vocabulary and who speaks with a colloquial vernacular!) Anyway, I was thinking earlier today about this guy… The Count from Sesame Street.

If I remember correctly, his full name is Count von Count. I’d like to meet the guy who came up with this name… he has to be a master of naming… possibly has a doctorate in stupid ass-shit! I know that most children aren’t super geniuses or world-class scholars, but really… Count von Count. That’s about the same amount of creativity as Stan Lee’s the Thing.

So what’s up with this Count guy? Sure, he obviously has a fetish for counting, but does anyone actually think this guy has a degree in mathematics? I’d like to see him teach children some “advanced” mathematical concepts such as fourth-order homogenous differential equations addition or subtraction.

All this guy does is count anything and everything, regardless of size, amount, or how much annoyance he is causing anyone who is watching! If anything, the lesson that children should learn from the Count is that even vampire-puppets can suffer from various mental illnesses such as obsessive-compulsive disorder! In all fairness though, old folklore from Eastern Europe suggests that many vampires suffered from a form of OCD, being particularly fascinated with counting. Poppy seeds were often placed on the ground at the gravesite of a presumed vampire in order to keep the vampire occupied all night counting.

So other than the whole obsessive counting thing, I don’t know that this Count is actually a vampire. Does he cast a reflection in the mirror? Is he vulnerable to sunlight? Does he fear crucifixes? Does have an allergic reaction to silver or holy water? Can he enter a private residence without being invited? Who the hell knows!

Ok… that’s all I have to say about that!

Johari Results

Ok, it looks as if people are no longer giving feedback, so I'll go ahead and post the results. First of all, I appreciate those of you who decided to encourage my big-ass head! The money is in the mail! Hehe!

Arena (known to self and others) dependable, intelligent, knowledgeable, powerful, witty	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, bold, brave, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, energetic, extroverted, giving, independent, ingenious, logical, observant, patient, reflective, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-conscious, spontaneous, trustworthy, wise
Façade (known only to self) silly	Unknown (known to nobody) adaptable, calm, dignified, friendly, happy, helpful, idealistic, introverted, kind, loving, mature, modest, nervous, organised, proud, quiet, religious, self-assertive, sensible, sentimental, shy, sympathetic, tense, warm

Dominant Traits

56% of people agree that LordValek is powerful

All Percentages

able (6%) accepting (31%) adaptable (0%) bold (25%) brave (43%) calm (0%) caring (6%) cheerful (6%) clever (18%) complex (6%) confident (31%) dependable (18%) dignified (0%) energetic (6%) extroverted (50%) friendly (0%) giving (12%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (18%) ingenious (18%) intelligent (43%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (18%) logical (6%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (37%) organised (0%) patient (6%) powerful (56%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (12%) relaxed (6%) religious (0%) responsive (6%) searching (6%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (6%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (12%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (6%) warm (0%) wise (12%) witty (50%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 21.2.2006, using data from 16 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view LordValek's full data.

What Famous Leader Are You?

I took this quiz off of Josh's blog.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Candy Heart Quiz

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship. You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Johari Personality Quiz

Here's a great personality quiz taken from The Barlow.

My Interactive Johari Window

The Premise:

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

This should be interesting to say the least! :-P

My Highly Productive Day

Wow… today seemed like a long ass day, but in retrospect I pretty much just wasted it away! I only had two things I needed to try to get done today (get the car’s oil changed and pay a speeding ticket), neither of which got accomplished. In fact, I even remember specifically telling Edward (check out his new addiction, the new MySpace profile) that I needed to really get these two things done today, but I’d probably end up wasting the day away. I was right. Instead, I slept most of the day while watching episodes of House interlaced with Children of Dune. That made for some fucked up interesting dreams!

I got to hang out with Jennifer a bit today. We went out to eat at some little Vietnamese place on the east side of town (great food!) She informed me that BruceCampbell.com announced that The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. will soon be released on DVD! That show and more importantly, Bruce Campbell, are freaking awesome! That’s a definite must buy! Too bad it won't be out before the b-day; that would be the only gift I'd really want! Hehe!

Today’s Moment of Zen had to be on the car ride back to Jen’s place. Most of the time we have no problem with agreeing on what music to listen to (we like pretty much the same stuff), however she wanted to listen to Michelle Branch and I wanted to listen to Simple Plan. As we’re flipping through the XM channels trying to decide on which of us was gonna get our way, we stumbled across Foreigner’s I Want To Know What Love Is. It was a lot like that scene in Tommy Boy where they come across the Carpenters’ Superstar. Neither one wants to admit that they want to listen to it, but by the end of the song, they’re both singing it together!

Funny New Family Guy Clip

Perhaps it's the sadist in me or simply just the love of great slap-stick, but here's a very funny, new Family Guy clip:


Click Here To Play

Vita Contin Git, Vive Com Eo!

I feel I should post something exciting and insightful right now, as I’m bored out of my mind, but I’m finding it really difficult. I’ve just been so uninspired the last several days. I can make checking the mail sound like an Indiana Jones adventure if need be, but even that has been particularly dull! Here’s the current rundown…

Work:

Though work has been quite dull for me personally, I’m beginning to get that old burdened feeling back… the one where people (my employees, my peers, my friends) are getting screwed over by the company (once again), and I feel that they think there’s something I can do to fix it. There’s nothing I want more than to be able to fix these problems for them, but these issues lie outside my control. I’d gladly put all I have on the line to make things right… I’ve done it before… but there’s simply nothing I can do but watch.

It’s upsetting to see the company I work for treat people the way it does, especially when there’s so much internal hype on how they want to focus on the employees… make the company one of the 100 best retailers to work for. In all fairness, it may not be correct to blame the company for this blatant disrespect for employees. The problem lies with inept store managers put in position without any form of leadership characteristics. Now as much as I could gripe about my store in particular (which has more than it’s fair share of issues with this leadership problem), I can clearly see that this is a widespread issue.

I’ve found that there are two specific kinds of administrators… “managers” and “leaders.” “Managers” instruct their employees on what needs to get done, follow up on assignments, and they don’t really think outside the box. For the lack of a better term, they manage people. The only problem with “managed” people is that they constantly require someone to manage them. “Managers” also seem to be very distant from their employees. To them, their employees are simply property of the company once they clock in for work; hence, a “manager” doesn’t really treat their employees as respectfully as they should. “Managers” are typically of the mindset that the business is more important than the people who work for them.

A “leader” provides a vision for others to follow, provides an enthusiasm for others to feed off of. People who are lead typically don’t need constant supervision. They can take initiative on their own. People who are lead are also typically much more productive as they feel they have more of a stake in the success of the business. “Leaders” also are aware that their people are the most important thing to the business. Business is important, but not at the expense of the people who work for you. To me it’s always been clear that a business can be so much more efficient and prosperous when run by “leaders.”

I think a “manager” can run a completely successful business… it’s just not as likely as a “leader” running the show. Most “managers” will do what is easiest, while the “leaders” will do what is right. Sometimes they’re the same thing, but many times not.

Anyway, that’s all I want to say about that. Josh and I see eye to eye on almost everything, which is probably why we've pretty much been best friends for the last five years. Read his posts on the subject matter: Post #1 and Post #2.

Personal:

My first personal trainer, Justin (who’s been my trainer for over a year), quit mid-December for personal reasons. He was having some medical issues and couldn’t really come in on a regular basis, so he decided to quit until he could get stuff straightened out. My new trainer, Jake, just quit this week. He just got a job in advertising up in Dallas. He’ll be making more money and will probably be much happier with the new job, so I’m happy for him.

So, I’m left looking for a new trainer when all of a sudden I get a call today. A great call! It was from Justin! He’s back! I can’t describe how relieved I felt when he called me this morning. I’ve been worried about him. Haven’t really talked with him since December (speaking of which, I’ll need gloat a bit about UT’s glorious National Championship to him since he’s an Aggie.) So, I’ll be seeing him tomorrow.

On to a new topic. Veritas vos liberabit - The truth will set you free. I can’t tell you how true this is. Why do people fuck stuff up with lies? One of my biggest pet peeves is being lied to. First of all, it’s just plain insulting because I know most of the time when I’m being lied to. Secondly, the things that most people lie about are just plain stupid to be lying about to begin with. Perhaps this is just the human condition and a fact of life… people just lie. I don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore. I guess I keep expecting people to be more virtuous. Should I not?

Speaking of virtue, I’ve been tweaking my MySpace profile a bit today (haha… that had nothing to do with virtue… it just seemed an easy way to transition to a new topic!) I’ve been using this MySpace thing for a couple months now, and I still don’t know what its true function is. I simply use it to waste all the free/dead time I have outside work, specifically at night when I can’t sleep and have absolutely nothing to do. Maybe that’s its true function. Who the hell knows though?

Perhaps I’ll visit my parents this week if they’re home… I wasted a trip up to BFE Hutto this last weekend to visit my mom who was asleep. I waited around for about 45 minutes, playing with my ferrets and watching TV (nothing on of course, which is why I don’t watch TV in the first place.) Then I left to go see my dad in Pflugerville to find that he wasn’t home. WTF! They bitch at me all the time for not visiting, and when I do try to visit they’re not even around! Mental note to self: call before going next time!

Final Thought:

“Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, ‘Give me your best shot. I can take it.’” – Jack Burton (Kurt Russel) / Big Trouble in Little China

Personality Cocktail

How to make a Frank

Ingredients:
5 parts pride
5 parts silliness
3 parts instinct

Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:


Personality cocktail

From Go-Quiz.com

Come What May

I haven't seen this movie in such a long time! I forget how much I really enjoy it... the story, the music, etc... although I usually stop the dvd about five minutes prior to the ending so that it can be a happy story!

Chuck Norris Facts

While waiting for me to get ready to gout and watch Underworld: Evolution the other day, Josh was playing on my computer and came across this website. It’s absolutely ri-god-damn-diculous! I mean really… WTF!? When did Chuck Norris become so popular? I mean, I’m catching people left and right quoting this freaking Chuck Norris “facts” site.

The Day After

So the actual part of inventory that involves counting the entire store is finally over (still got the nasty part of reconciling it coming up next week I left the store at about 6:00am this morning. The night started off with a lot of caffeine (black liquid crack – coffee) with the addition of Josh’s special pills (for asthma… has ephedrine in it.) There’s no way to describe the amount of energy I had other than to say I probably could have picked up the three ton stockpicker in the warehouse and thrown it over the store.

After the madness, I kinda just slept off and on all day long. I think I’ll probably go running in a little bit get the blood flowing through my veins once again (hopefully there won’t be the same awkward situation as last week… long story… for those who know – haha… for those interested – just ask… it’s a story for another post sometime!)

I finally had the opportunity to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose today (got it on DVD about a month ago.) It was a great movie. Not so much a horror film; more a court drama. That being said though, the movie still freaked me out. After it was over, I became incredibly aware of how dark all the rooms in the apartment currently were… I was a bit creeped out! I had to watch something very lively and comic to get the eerie feeling to go way, so I watched Tommy Boy. I'm gonna be perfectly honest, I'm still a bit freaked... and if I wake up at 3:00am in the morning, I don't know what the hell I'll do!!! (That would be a reference to the The Exorcism of Emily Rose movie for those who haven't seen it!)

Superhero Persona

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	The Scotsman
Super Power	Incredible Stamina
Enemy	The Landlord
Mode Of Transportation	Shopping Cart
Weapon	Baseball Bat
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Inventory Insanity

I apologize for the lack of updates recently… I’ve been at work pretty much none stop preparing for physical inventory. It sucks when there are like some 200,000+ things that all gotta get accounted for at one time. We’re actually starting the count tonight and will hopefully be done no later than 3am. I’ll have a few days off after the count before we get the results back… then I’ll be at work none stop once again for about a week until I get all of the discrepancies resolved. Fun!!! Or not so fun. You decide!

Guess Who's Back

So, just over a solid month, I finally got my car back last night... my precious! It looks so great; looks like a brand new car! I can't describe how much missed it!!! The leather scent (smells so good), the sound of the speakers (my God, the sound is wonderful), the speed (I have a dire need for speed), etc…

The costs of repairs were considerably high, though I didn’t have to pay a single cent. The thing I heard from most people over this last month is how I should just have the car totaled and get a new one because of all the bad luck I’ve had with the car. What people don’t understand is that I love this car. I personally don’t consider any of the unfortunate events that happened to my car to be bad luck. Sure, two tires exploded while traveling down the highway at 80+ mph… but I was able to maintain control and not get into an accident either time. Sure, a crazy, stoned bitch slammed into the driver side of my car sending it spinning 5-6 times across an intersection… but my car kept me safe as I walked away without a single injury (while I’m completely confident that most people would have died in that same collision.)

So I have my baby back. It’s like a Phoenix raised from its own ashes!

Golden Globes

Even though I forgot to ask someone to record the Golden Globes for me earlier this week, I found some short clips of Brandon Routh there. Maybe it's just me, but Brandon Routh sounds a lot like Christopher Reeve. Kinda weird!

On the Red Carpet

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Presenting at the Golden Globes

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Great, New Superman Returns Article

While bored out of my mind and surfin the web aimlessly today, I came across a great new article about the new Superman Returns movie.

"In a sense, the movie is about what happens when an old romance returns unexpectedly and also the anger we all have toward people that let us down or leave us behind," director Bryan Singer said. "This is about the obstacles that befall an idealistic man. It's about an old-fashioned hero in a modern world that isn't sure it wants him."

Click here to read the full story.

Which Of The Greek Gods Are You???

Apollo

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

6059 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 473362 times.
1% of people had this result.

Asinine, Dim-Witted President

Here's a funny video my dad sent me.


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Honestly, I'm not sure why I'm still shocked at how dumb G. W. Bush truly is. I've put up with his idiocy for so long... six years of his silly governorship in Texas, and another six years of his ridiculous presidency. This guy is a complete imbecile.

If an idiot like this can become the most powerful person in the world, I know that anything is truly possible!

About Me

The internet is completely saturated with personality quizzes, questionnaires, etc… Most are entertaining to say the least, but they never really tell you who someone really is.

I got the idea for this post from something The Seeker did a few months back. It’s something different, which I always find to be quite amusing.

Anyway, here are the rules of the game:

1. Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private, random, or ridiculous.
2. I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
3. Ask your questions in the "Comments" section or email me. I'll email you my responses, so if I don't have your email addy, I suggest you send your questions to my email rather than ask them in the "Comments" section.

Ask me your 3 questions…

Allergies Suck

So I’m currently at home on my lunch break (one of the benefits of living three minutes away from work.) I’ve been lucky enough not to catch the nasty cold that others have, but my allergies have been kicking my ass the last several days. I’m so doped up on every single allergy medication I’ve got… I’m listening to one of my most favorite albums of all time, Dark Side of the Moon (specifically Brain Damage.) Always great to listen to if you’re doped up or high! I highly recommend it!

Anyway, my allergies were so bad, I even used the dreaded Afrin spray! Now what makes this nasal spray "dreaded" is the simple fact that it’s super addictive. Just ask my sister Jennifer… she was plotting to place a pillow over my mom’s head when she was sleeping after my mom took the Afrin away from her years ago! LMAO!

I think I’m gonna watch the Wizard of Oz sometime this weekend with Dark Side of the Moon dubbed over it!

Blogshares

I find Blogshares is an easy and fun way to waste free time. You may be wondering, what is BlogShares? BlogShares is a fantasy stock market where weblogs are the companies. Players invest fictional dollars on shares in blogs. Prices can go up or down based on trading and the underlying value of the blog. No actual ownership of blogs is transfered. You basically start off with $500 to play with. My blog isn't worth a hell of a lot, but I've invested in some pretty big blogs. BlogShares is purely a fictional marketplace, which sucks because I could be rich now... I'm Rick James bitch! I don't find it to be too terribly addicting... like I said before, it's a great way to waste some time when you got nothing to do.

Status           Active
User Since       19:01 14 Jul 2005
Last Login       07:44 10 Jan 2006
Rank             202 (overall standing)
Karma            44
Chips            75
Artefacts        14
Transactions     5
Last Transaction 14:27 09 Jan 2006
Home Page        Journal of Lord Valek
Cash Balance     B$230,988,105.00
Total Portfolio  B$1,684,958,505.27 
                    in 112 blogs
Total Ideas      B$40,669.72
Total Worth      B$1,915,987,279.99

Potter Personality Quiz

You scored as Albus Dumbledore. Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering. You scored as Sirius Black. You are a gifted wizard and very loyal to your allegiance. Whilst you have a big heart and care very much about those around you, you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times. Albus Dumbledore 100% Sirius Black 100% Remus Lupin 90% Hermione Granger 85% Ginny Weasley 85% Harry Potter 75% Ron Weasley 70% Severus Snape 70% Draco Malfoy 65% Lord Voldemort 60% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

Warning Label

If you only knew how true this really is!

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP FRANK AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Confirmed Once Again... I'm Fucking Weird!

Got this quiz off The Barlow's Livejournal. I can't say I'm surprised... same old song... not even a new verse! Whatever. What's new? That's fine... I'm so used to it now. It's only been about 26 years now!!! I still got it!!! LOL!

Mary Sue Your score was 81 in Unbelievability!

You are your author's Mary Sue, and if a fiction writer wrote about a character like you, they would be doing something very wrong. You're unreal. There's something about you which words cannot describe- well, OK, they can, but not in a way that you seem at all plausible. You are completely unique, special, and, most of all, improbable. The chances of you being the way you are are about the same as the chances of your computer screen exploding right now. It could happen, but it would come as a big surprise. A novel with you as a character wouldn't even make it past the publishers. It would be rejected immediately because nobody would ever believe you could exist. You and your life are the stuff that daytime talk shows are made of. If you ever want to publish the story of your own life, make sure it's an autobiography, because you're too damn weird for fiction.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Implausibility

Link: The Are You a Plausible Character? Test written by coldrose on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Arrested Development Personality Quiz

You are Michael. You've always said that family is
the most important thing. You carry the world
on your shoulders. You're a good man and a
great role model.


Arrested Development: Which Bluth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Brandon Routh On E!

For those who missed this extremely short interview with Brandon Routh on E! (like me since I don’t watch tv), behold the totally HOT new Superman in this clip!


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MySpace

My slogan new for 2006: “A different kind of company… a different kind of Frank!”

So I opened a new MySpace account, thanks to Ron. Now, I’m not really worried about becoming too addicted to it like many others simply because I’m already online all the time (that is when I’m not at work or at the gym.) I'm already quite addicted to the internet in general.

I look at all the people I went to high school with and I honestly don’t recognize nearly a single person. It’s really amazing how much people can change over the course of seven years.

Chronic Of Narnia

I haven't watched Saturday Night Live in ages, probably because I don't watch TV anymore... anyway, this is a pretty funny rap song they made.

Memorable Movie Quotes Of 2005

It's just occurred to me that I didn't actually see as many movies as I normally do this year... anyway, here are some quotes from 2005 movies that more or less sum the year up. I'm sure there are more that are just as accurate or even better, but I'm exhausted and am only putting the ones down that come to mind. I also only put one quote per movie even though several of these movies had multiple appropriate quotes.

• "I can feel your anger... It gives you focus... Makes you more powerful" - Darth Sidious / Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
• "I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just... poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed so you'd be spared your pain." - Henri Ducard / Batman Begins
• "You can know all the math in the verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurting before she keens. Makes her home." - Malcolm Reynolds / Serenity
• "You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you." - Albert / Hitch
• "Hell's waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here" - Marv / Sin City
• "Now is the time that we must choose between what is right, and what is easy." - Albus Dumbledore / Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
• "I've got to be more careful where I park this thing." - Willy Wonka / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
• "Have you ever broke something so bad that it can never be fixed?" - Will Stronghold / Sky High

I've had a lot of bad luck with my car this year... broken clutch, rear ended, two tires exploded, car alarm from hell, replaced dead battery. The story of my car troubles came to an end for the year on the morning of Sunday, December 18 sometime between 6:00am and 6:20am when a crazy bitch came crashing into the driver's side of my car (my door to be exact) at 50 miles per hour. No, I wasn't killed or even hurt for that matter, although I probably should have been one or the other (this simply just continues the myth/lore/legend of my immortality.) Anyway, the following movie quote truly brings my year to a close; however, it's not from a 2005 movie.

"Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car." - The Dude / The Big Lebowski

Josh's X-Mas Surprise

I thought it would be interesting to post about the Christmas gifts I got for Josh because they're not your typical holiday gifts. I went ahead and gave them to him tonight.

Josh's first gift was a battery powered dildo with multi-speed control. That thing really vibrates quite hard! The funniest part about this present is the fact that Josh isn't gay, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'll give that dildo a test drive! At the very least, I know he'll place it on his coffee table at his apartment simply to make his roommates feel uneasy. I'm also sure he'll take the opportunity to dick-slap some people with it!

Gift number two is a cock pump. No guessing is required on this one... he'll definitely try this one out! This too will most likely end up a center-piece on his living room coffee table, but not before getting some serious use! LOL!

Reviewing The Year

I know the year isn’t quite over yet, but I can’t help but to sit back and reflect on it for a bit. This last year was not great by any means of the imagination, but it wasn’t the worst one either; however, overall I have to say it wasn’t at all what I was expecting. There was definitely much more sorrow and pain than happiness and joy. I can’t decide on a worst moment simply because there are entirely too many candidates to select from, but I can clearly say I know what the best moment was… it was when my mom offered to give my ferrets a home so I wouldn’t have to lose them.

I don’t really believe in “right” or “wrong” choices… to me there are numerous levels of “good” and “poor” choices. A “good” choice is logical one where all of the consequences, positive and negative, are considered and accepted regardless of the outcome. A “poor” choice would be one that is illogical or where one is not willing to accept the consequences of the decision. Well, that’s my philosophy on the matter anyway.

I don’t feel I made many “poor” choices this year. In fact, I’m proud of the fact that I probably made more “good” choices this year than ever before. It just so happens that many of those “good” choices had very bad outcomes that have taken their toll on me throughout the year. I don’t believe that a bad outcome or having to accept the negative consequences of a decision makes it a “poor” one… I just didn’t expect to have to pay the price of the negative consequences so many times over and over again. In retrospect, I don’t think I would have changed a single decision that I consider to be a “good” choice simply because it had a horrible outcome. So it is nice not to regret anything over this last year.

The only resolution I really have for next year is that I would like to have a clear path for my life. Whether the path is difficult or easy to walk is beside the point… I just want one that I can see. And I hope next year is happier than this one.

What If...?

A few days ago I was rummaging through my closet trying to find anything that may need to be dry cleaned. During my search, I ran across something I haven’t seen in years… that in itself is absolutely amazing because I just recently moved a few months ago, so I should have seen it at some point during the process packing or unpacking… but I didn’t. It appears to have been hidden between some old dress shirts that I haven’t worn in years. In retrospect, I probably should have taken it to get dry cleaned when I found it because if I remember correctly, the last time I had it on I think I may have accidentally got some traces of hydronium (the cation that naturally occurs in water) on it… actually it was probably a weak acid monohydrate produced from ionization by the hydronium. I think if it were pure hydronium, it would have eaten away at it over the years.

Oh, “it” was a white lab coat. My mom got it for me early on in college, back at a time when I had plans on studying to becoming a doctor. I’m not really sure what specifically derailed me from that path. Perhaps it was a mixture of loneliness, depression, alcohol, etc… Whatever the reason, I’m clearly not a doctor at moment. I do wonder “what if” sometimes, more so recently over the last several weeks. The fact of the matter is that I don’t have to wonder “what if”; I’m still young enough to return to that path that I abandoned years ago.

I’m very conflicted on what to do though. When I put the white lab coat on and look in the mirror, I see the person that I should be. What’s holding me back from becoming that person? I definitely have the mind for it… I don’t really have a personal life, so I won’t really be sacrificing that… I do have a powerful drive (sometimes beyond even my control) to be the best… so why don’t I just do it? Maybe it’s because I feel that there are times in life you mess something up so much that it can never be fixed… maybe I’m beyond repairing what I’ve already damaged in my life.

The Thrill Of The Fight

Back when I was a sales manager, there were many avenues to becoming the best in the district/region… exceeding sales budgets being one the key goals. So everyday, I was trying to prove I was the best. There was always some means of measuring success from one sales manager to another… and for the most part, I always was the best. I had to be the best… something inside of me that I can’t even control drives me to win (sometimes even at all costs)… I’ll get to that more in just a bit.

My current job has no means of competition. I mean, all I really do is oversee and protect the store’s total net operating profit, which includes payroll, inventory, store maintenance, etc… in addition to being second in command. So there really are no means of being the best in the management position I’m currently in.

So for the most part, my time in this position has been rather boring. If I’m not trying to be the best, I become completely apathetic. For the last couple months, I’ve felt pretty devoid of emotion anyway, so the growing apathy at work just makes things worse for me personally.

Anyway, another store in the district (my old store) and my staff are having a competition this month. It’s basically my operations staff performance on selling extended warranty versus theirs.

Most people who know me have really never seen a truly dark side of me… one of the darkest being my cut-throat, vicious, and absolutely cold-hearted competitive streak. Probably only my immediately family and maybe a few friends have ever seen my true untamed and savage nature while in competition.

First off, winning is never enough. I only accept total domination… complete victory. The goal is never simply to just beat the opponent(s)… it’s to completely obliterate them. Like I said, this isn’t really a side the most people have seen of me… people definitely get glimpses of it when they play even the smallest of games.

Take the game of RISK for example. It’s a simple board game of world domination. Each player starts off with the same number of armies and countries. The object is to invade other players’ countries and take them over. Whoever takes all the countries wins. Simple enough, right? Nope… not for me. I usually sit back and amass my armies to absolutely ridiculous sizes… sometimes overpowering all the other players 50 to 1. It’s not just a matter of taking their countries… it’s the psychological breakdown of their confidence. I want them to see that it’s not only improbable for them to beat me, but impossible. We never even finish the game because everyone quits when they feel there is no possible chance of beating me. I must attain complete dominance.

Hell, even when I taught fencing at the University of Texas… anytime we had a tournament, I was just plain vicious. The object is to achieve a touché (essentially a hit) on the opponent. Best two of three wins the match… since that ends pretty quickly, we usually played best three out of five. Easy enough… just get three touchés and you win the match. Not in my strategy. I would never allow an opponent one hit. I would just parry for about three minutes straight (an eternity in fencing). This not only defeats the opponent’s confidence, but it takes a toll on them physically… after doing 30+ lunge attacks in a single match, one’s legs begin to become very fatigued and sore. After I felt that I had them mentally and physically defeated, I would go ahead and attack… one after another until I had my three touchés, never evening allowing them to catch their breath or rest for a single second. Again… proving I’m the best and establishing complete dominance.

So I ask myself… does this brutal competitive streak really bring the best or the worst out in me? I obviously perform my best at these times, but am I a horrible person for my cut-throat manner of winning? Something in me just changes during times of competitions... the thrill of the fight... something unrestrained and primordial... is this just a part of me that I keep supressed... is this my true nature? I don't know. What I do know is that even being consciously aware that my competitive nature makes me down right malicious at times, I still know that I will win this competition… I also know that my margin of victory will be extremely enormous... leaving my opponents overwhelmingly obliterated.